Mr. Joe Booted Out of the Weight Control Study Program
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Posted:Feb 16, 2009 11:30 am
Last Updated:Feb 17, 2009 4:51 pm 1697 Views
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He was on the table and getting ready to get a Saline filled Ball inserted in his stomach. They discovered Ulcers and he was advised that he is Booted out of the Weight Control Study Program.
I was concerned that it might compromise his health and he's been losing weight without the Study. When Joe was selected and I wasn't, I came up with my own solution. SlimFast has it's own site with a Dietician that you can consult. Thus Far, I've lost 17 and Mr. Joe has lost 25. To be in the Study. you have to have of BMI between 30 and 37. Another fifteen pounds and I am disqualifed anyway.
So................ Tonight, I am making Split Pea Soup with Hawaiian Rolls for Mr. Joe. It feels so good to have my kitchen back after...................
Well I won't go there. Life on Life's Terms.
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My GPS, Porky's Anonymous and My 31 Year Chip!!!!!
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Posted:Feb 11, 2009 11:49 pm
Last Updated:Feb 13, 2009 4:29 pm 1771 Views
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Alcoholism is NOT a Sin however Sobriety is NOT a Virtue. Nevertheless, I should have picked up my 31 Year Chip in NOVEMBER but finally picked it up in February.
I had plans to take it at a Speaker's Meeting at my old home group in West Virginia but Grouchy Old Sam's Club wouldn't let me have Black Friday Off. It's a Big $$$$$$ Making Day for them.
So I had Wednesday off and decide to make it to two 12 Step Meetings in One Day. My GPS really gave some messed up directions to the Porky's Anonymous Meeting. When I finally got there, there was a funeral at church with no parking places ANYWHERE!!!!!
I finally decided to give it up and headed for the Teatotaller's Meeting on the other side of town. I arrived early so I was sitting in my car and called my Arkansas 12 Step Spiritual Advisor.
I told her a few things about Mr. Joe and the Blonde Frump and she suggested that I not put in this Blog. 
The last time I went to that meeting, I asked for a 31 year chip and they didn't have one. A Gentleman mentioned that they got the Chip the Following Week and even had a Cake waiting for me. Grouchy Old Sam's Club made me work that week and the next and the next............ If Sam gets his way, I won't have a life outside of his Silly Club. Oh Well! at least I have it now.
The funny thing is that the wisest words I ever heard came from one of my First Sponsor's Husband, "If you get in a relationship and it kicks your A$$............Don't Drink!"
Thus Far, I've had two marriages and a few relationships that have kicked my A$$ AGAIN and AGAIN!!!!!
Only this time, not only can I not grab a bottle of Vodka to make it go away. I have to wave bye bye to BEN and JERRY too.
Life on life's terms so I blog and go to 12 Step Meetings instead. Sam even has a Resource for Living that I can utilize so that I keep from really going over the edge.
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Booted out of the Weight Control Study AGAIN!!!!!!
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Posted:Feb 11, 2009 11:13 pm
Last Updated:Feb 12, 2009 3:41 pm 1580 Views
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So I got the call ..............Ding Ding Ding! Another Delay from the Weight Control Study at the Charlottesville Medical Research Clinic. We'll Call you in April. In order to qualify for the Study, you have to have a BMI of 30 to 37 percent. I am just about disqualifed regardless. What am I suppose to do keep eating those Four Berry Sundae's at Sam's and stay fat until April. I think NOT!
When I started working for Wal-Mart in Texas, I lost 30 pounds. I gained back 10 but eventually lost that When I started Working at Wal-Mart in Virginia. I went to work for Sam's Club in Charlottesville and thus far lost another 12.
By April, I will be totally disqualified for the Study so
Boo Hoo Hoo!!!!! Hopefully, I will also be living and working someplace OTHER than here and Mr. Joe with the Blonde Frump will be Ancient History.
The way that woman smokes cigarettes, eats junk food and drinks sugar soda pop, he is going to have a real "beauty" on his hands in about five years.
Of course, there is also a strong possibility that he will betray her like he did me.
MEOW MEOW!!!!! Star is taking some CATTY lessons.
My size 16 A$$ will become a TEN and the Red Head Mating Call is
NEXT!!!!!!
This time I'll find a man who understands the concept of loyalty and love.
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The Weight Study Clinic, Family History and the Second Saturn Return
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Posted:Feb 5, 2009 8:56 pm
Last Updated:Feb 6, 2009 4:20 pm 1479 Views
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Yea Ha! I've been accepted into the Weight Control Study at the Charlottesville Medical Research Clinic.
"Mother Gaia Hear My Plea - Make Me the Size I wish to Be. The Size I am is way Big. Lucky Twelve is right for me but Ten would be better." Paraphrased quote that I found in on-line Book of Shadows.
Granted, I have some very vain reasons for wanting to reduce my Body Mass Index but there is also a Higher Mission. I have lost several members of my family because of Obesity.
First came my Paternal Blackfeet Indian Grandmother. She died at the age of 59 just after her second Saturn Return. When I was pregnant with my older , I wanted to name a Dana Leona to honor her. I felt her closeness for some reason at that time. I had a vision of my Paternal Grandmother. Her body was freed from all that massive weight. She had long black hair and was riding a White through some water. When I discovered Native American Spirituality, I would have loved to been able to tap into her wisdom.
Next went my beloved Step Granddaddy into the Spiritworld. He was Fifty-Three. He never finished High School yet managed to be a successful business owner. I've always wanted my own business. I sort of have one on the Bay but it's nothing like his. I wish I could tap into his Business Savvy.
Later came my Father who passed at 57 during his Second Saturn Return. I never really appreciated my Father until he was gone. I figured he must have gone into an Early Grave to get away from my Mother who a real nag but Compulsive Overeating was the major factor. He was a Military Man who survived Korea AND Vietnam. Later he became a Union Activist. A few years after he was gone, so was I. I really missed having him to talk to about it.
Two years ago, it was my Brother. Dang, I am the First Born and he's number three. It should have been me that went before him. He was only 50. He never even reached his second Saturn Return.
They are my Higher Mission. I want to be in the study for them and People like them who will survive the Second Saturn Return because I participated in this Study. It's hope for the future and I want to be a part of it.
Now for the Reasons that are not so noble. The Texas Truck Driver deemed me unworthy of his love because my a$$ was too fat and kept his Massive Dr. Pepper Belly. God Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change. I can't change the fact that he's a Schmuck. It's a lucky escape. That Belly is a heart attack waiting to happen and I'll be out hiking instead nursing that sorry excuse of a man. Courage to change the things that I can. I can take full responsibility for my fat a$$ and do something about it.
When I found Wal-Mart instead of Love, I lost 30 pounds. I worked at Wal-Mart in Texas, Nevada and Virginia. I thought I found Love again and transferred to Sam's Club in Charlottesville Virginia. I signed up to Volunteer for the Weight Control Study. Mr. Joe followed suit. They liked him better than me so he got accepted first. Now Mr. Joe is minus thirty pounds and I have lost another eleven.
Mr. Joe doesn't love me so I'll cry a river, build a bridge and get over it. It's an Eighteen Month Long Study and within Eighteen Month, I'll be drop dead gorgeous. I am a former exotic dancer and used to make top dollars showing it off for mankind. He'll be sorry that he ever threw me away and THAT'S a goal worth striving for. I may not be the Domestic Goddess with the Hot Woo Woo that he wants but He still has me to thank for that Heart Attack that he's not going to have. Life on Life's Terms.
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Pleeeeeeze! Can I Kick Ben & Jerry in the BUTTer!!!!!!!!
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Posted:Jan 26, 2009 9:02 am
Last Updated:Feb 5, 2009 11:49 am 1770 Views
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Mr. Joe and I started a Weight Control Program together. I applied to get into a research study for Weight Control and Joe followed suit. Joe got accepted and they told me that I have to wait until April and Maybe...............
Heck Darn Blast and Other Words to that effect........... If I wait till April I will either weight too much or too little to be the program. I am opting for too little so It's Porky's Anonymous and the Slim Fast Program I go.
I can't Stand Slim Fast Bars so I'm using Special K Bars instead.
I started the Slim Fast Program the latter part of December and Joe is in the Research Weight Loss Study. So one way or the other - we are doing it together. Joe is losing it faster than me but that normal mode with Male versus Female Weight Loss. I'll get it off slowly and keep it off forever.
Footnote...................Usually when I am depressed or dying of a broken heart, the first thing I want to do reach for the Ben and Jerry. Reading the Calorie and Fat Content is frightening. 350 calories per service with four servings in each containers. Can you eat JUST ONE serving out of a container of Ben and Jerry I sure can't!
So the Last Week or So..........Ben and Jerry have been calling my name. Another Woman has been interfering with Me and My Joe. I cried, I wrote poetry and talked to my girlfriend but Left Ben and Jerry in the Store.
VIRTUE OR VICE
The Choice is Joe's
He's Worth the Fight
The Rival must move on and go
Her Powers Annulled
VIRTUE OR VICE
Only True Love will make him Whole
HOWEVER if the Rival want Ben & Jerry
She's Welcome to Both of them.
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Casinos, Dumb LUCK, and LOVE Connections :D
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Posted:Jan 1, 2009 10:36 pm
Last Updated:Jan 2, 2009 8:53 pm 2011 Views
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I have never been much of a gambling woman at least not at Casinos. The first time I went to Las Vegas - I was on the back of a Harley with the intention of eloping with the driver. That Marriage didn't happen. That was a lucky escape.
We got into an altercation. He took off back to California on his Harley. I hopped on another bike and we headed to Beaver, Utah. I rode on the back of that Bike through Utah topless.
Shortly after the relationship "officially" ended, the prospective groom was admitted to The Atascadero Institute for the Criminally Insane.
The Best Advise I ever got came from my 12 Step Sponsor's Husband. "If you get emotionally involved and it kicks your A$$........... Don't Drink!"
That was the first of many relationships including two marriages that did just that.
So..............the Next time I went through Vegas on the way to Beaver, Utah. I had a Brand New Biker Boyfriend with no intentions of eloping with him. We stopped at the Palomino Club where they had an amateur Nude Dancing Contest. My biker boyfriend Psycho critiqued the Dancers. I heeded his feedback, got on the Stag and Won. The second time we went to Vegas and I won, I went back to California and went professional.
Psycho and I never married because his Mother thought I was below his station in life. That may or may not have been a lucky escape.
The Next Time I went to Vegas - I had another Boyfriend. We were on the Poker Machine and I didn't know what the heck I was doing. I pull the handle and got a Ace King Queen Jack and Ten of Spades. I asked my gentleman friend if that meant anything. "Don't touch that handle!" he advised me. The Money from that win paid for my college books.
So..........Shortly after that trip, I married my first husband. That Marriage definitely was NOT a lucky escape. Nevertheless, it did provide the channel for my younger to come into the world and that's a blessing.So now I am in the Commonwealth of Virginia with Mr. Joe Gemini Rising. I had a couple of days off so Mr. Joe suggested that we go to the Charles Town Casino in West Virginia. It's a great opportunity to test out the New GPS Units. The GPS had to keep recalculation because we were going a different route that the one that it wanted us to go.
I was amazed at the different types of gambling machines at the Casino. There was every type of theme that one can imagine. Space Alien, Egyptians, Hex Breakers, Neptune, Shop till you drop. They are called Bonuses instead of Jackpots.
Mr. Joe Gemini Rising has a completive nature. He likes to beat me in Scrable and knock me off the board in other computer games. I had a delight time hitting all those bonuses especially on the machines that Mr. Joe just got through giving all his Money to. I didn't exactly win but at least I still had $30. left of the Money that I used for gambling. We won't go into how much Mr. Joe gave those machines. Heh! Heh! Heh!
Someone has to provide Job Security for the Gambling Industry. Nevertheless, I'm glad I don't live near the Charles Town Casino in West Virginia. I'ld end up have to join yet another 12 Step Program.
Personally, I would much rather win at LOVE than the Casinos
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X-mas, Mr. Joe's New Power Tool AND the..............GPS!!!!!!!!!
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Posted:Dec 25, 2008 10:05 pm
Last Updated:Dec 27, 2008 9:46 pm 2185 Views
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When my boys were younger, I would take them to the store and let them pick out whatever they wanted for Christmas. Thus they would get something they REALLY wanted plus a few surprises.
So when I asked Mr. Joe - What do you want? A Drill - so I picked up a One/Half Inch Keyless Chuck Cordless Black Max Drill at Sam's Club. When I showed it to him, "he said I did pretty good considering the fact that I don't speak "Power Tool Lingo" HOWEVER he wanted a one/half inch Keyless Chuck drill WITH a cord. The Cordless Drills keep losing power thus the corded drill is good for back-up.
No Big Deal- The Cordless Drill wasn't that expensive. I'll buy him a second drill at LOWE'S so I drove to LOWE's and found everything BUT a , 1/2 inch Keyless Chuck Drill with a cord. When I asked the Power Tool Sales Woman about it, she suggested that 1/2 inch Keyless Chuck Drill with cords are Dinosaurs. It's like the box shaped Televisions. They don't exist anymore. I opted to buy him a LOWE'S Gift Card so that he can find his own Antique Drill and she expressed the fact that was a
Marvelous Idea.
After the shopping adventure at LOWE'S, I went to I-HOP for Lunch. They were offering $25. Gift Certificates with a $5. Coupon. That is the perfect gift for the Prospective Step- and in Law.
So.............I wrapped everything in Newspaper with elaborate ribbon decoration. I've been wrapping X-Mas Presents like this since I was a . My family expects it.
Mr. Joe presented his presents in the shopping bags. Wow! A New GPS. I left enough hints about what I wanted and told him he asked me directly. I like Jewelry especially Amber but a GPS for the car would awesome.
It turns out that the Prospective -In-Law wanted to go to IHOP but the Prospective StepSonInLaw wouldn't take her. Now they have a Gift Certificate so he has to. Heh Heh Heh!
We used the New GPS to find our way to the Golden Corral in Charlottesville. We actually know the way but hey, lets watch the GPS do it's work. It actually talks, Turn Left, Turn Right, Redirectiong the Route. It's Awesome. The Golden Corral was closed but the Chinese Place was open.
Sushi for Christmas. Woo Hoo! I changed the direction to Victoria Secret's. No we are not going that way, Mr. Joe told the GPS so I gave it our home address.
Now, Mr. Joe will be using his Wal-Mart Gift Certicate to get his own GPS. It was be a Business End of the Year Tax Deduction. I will be using the Michael's Gift Certificate for Next Year's Business Tax Deductions. It will buy a lot of dreamcatchers. I am also extending my business to essential oil. The first one I am making is LUST OIL!
I also won TEN Dollars on the Georgia Lottery Ticket that my older sent.
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Xmas Shopping and the Road to Monticello
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Posted:Dec 17, 2008 6:38 pm
Last Updated:Aug 12, 2017 9:45 pm 1755 Views
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When my boys were younger, I would take them to the Mall and tell them to pick out their Presents. So I asked Mr. Joe what he wants. He wants a drill. I asked my older who is in Georgia what he wants. "Keep it Simple." he said. My younger who is in West Virgina said that he NEEDS the basics.
I asked my younger what he needed, He said the "Basics" - Socks, a Jacket and $$$$$$.
Earlier this week Joe's 's Girlfriend asked if I would take her Christmas Shopping. If I marry Mr. Joe and She marries his , we'll be step in-laws.
I was not overly thrilled about the prospect of spending my one day off before Christmas in Shopping Malls since I am surrounded by shoppers who are shopping all day and sometimes all night long.
But HEY............... But on a brighter note, if I have to be in Charlottesville, why stop at Monticello afterwards and I certainly don't want to go along so........................
Off the Charlottesville, we went. The first stop was Sam's Club. I KNOW where all the Bargains are. I found a Cordless Black Max 1/2 Drill Driver High Speed One Hour Fast Charge 22 position Clutch Drill and it costed a lot less that I thought it would. I found the basics with Gift Cards for my younger .
My older gets a mail order gift basket with chocolate covered pretzels and a planter of Christmas Crocus for the Peach in his life.
My prospective Step In Law found a few gifts for her UAM. (Unrelated Adult Male) co-habitation buddy.
When the gifts were being rang up, I asked for a Gift Receipt for the Drill. How do you do that she started to ask another Cashier. "Just Push the "R" Button before the scanning the item," I told her. I learned how to make gift reciepts earlier a few days before.
We went to the Fashion Sqaure Mall where my prospective in law bought a few more presents for her UAM and I checked out Victoria Secret. Yea Ha!
We stopped at Boston Market for Lunch. "Do you know the way to Montecello," I asked a few of the locals who shook thier heads and said no.
Woo Hoo! A Ben and Jerry Ice Cream Shop. Coffee Buzz Buzz Buzz Ice Cream on a small sugar cone and nobody knew the way to Montecello.
I got in the car and ended up (I'm not Lost, I just know know where the heck I am) I hope Santa gets me a GPS for Yule.
Finally, I saw signs that said Montecello this way. I followed the signs and we found Montecello. The Tour was fanstastic. Indian Artifacts, Dinosaur Bones, Pictures of "Crossed Over" Presidents, La Fayette, and a Flashing Aphrodite. There was a very tiny bed for a very tall president.
It was fantastic outside the building. An Outhouse used by Presidents and their slaves. Gardens and the Graveyard. It was a perfect autumn day with a very pleasant breeze.
The Tour ended. Now I have to find another Mecca. We got in the car and headed toward (I'm not Lost, I just know know where the heck I am) I hope Santa gets me a GPS for Yule.
I knew that if I found 20 North or 265 East, I would be headed in the right direction. I found out that Mr. Joe actually wants a Drill with a Cord. Heck Darn Blast! I saved so much money on the drill he's getting that he'll get two drills for Xmas and Monecello goes on the Picture Trail.
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ALMOST "wriiten up" By Sam
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Posted:Dec 16, 2008 12:14 am
Last Updated:Dec 16, 2008 7:02 pm 1704 Views
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Luckily I have a sense of humor and laugh at the silliest things. Yesterday I really really didn't want to work over my scheduled time at work.
I even expressed the fact that "No How Now Way No I do NOT want to stay over at work. "Plezzzzzze, we're desperate, we'll dance at your wedding." 
So................ This Morning one of the big bosses and the personnel director walked up to my cash register.
"Do You Realize that you worked SEVEN HOURS without a Lunch Break. You better watch your hours or you'll get written up next time." 
After the bosses left, the customer remarked "They should be glad that people are willing to work."
"And their point is..............." I chuckled while ring up the lady's purchased.
Eventually the shift ended and I drove myself home. "You are home early." Mr. Joe remarked. I told Joe the story and he had a good laugh too. So I did what I was told even though I didn't want to or even have to do it and get into trouble for it. Oh Well! Nobody ever said that Life is Fair. Mr. Joe works in Management and says it's not good management to reprimand an employee in front of a customer. Dang! I am just a humble associate and even I know that.
They are building a new Wal-Mart at Zion Crossing. I think I'll become management and transfer over them.
So............I counted down the Cash Register - Thirteen Thousand Dollars and only four cents off.
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Holiday Retail Insanity! Ha Ha Ho Ho Hee Hee!
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Posted:Dec 14, 2008 7:52 pm
Last Updated:Dec 15, 2008 11:45 pm 1816 Views
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Today is one of those days when every customer with MAXed Out Credit Cards or Credit Cards that were No FiretrUCKing Good came to my register. Maybe they were even searching through the merchandise to find products with defective bar codes or even no bar code to take to my register.
One Redneck Gentleman crossed his arms and declared that he was NOT leaving until I took his Visa. (Sam's is a No Visa Club). There was a long line of customers behind him. I told him that I would call the supervisor who would tell him that Sam's does not take Visa, he could find another way to pay for it or the Supervisor could cancel the transaction and he would not have to pay for it at all. He finally paid for it with a Discover Card, much to the delight of the other customers.
I was amused when a customer placed several cased of beer and a fifty pound bag of food on the belt and couldn't figure out why the belt wouldn't move any more. Dah!
After I tossed the food on top of the beer in the shooping cart, he offered to help. He placed the two bags of Lays potato chips in the cart. "Not to worry, I transferred from the Meat Department." I advised him that if he needed help loading those cheese puffs to let the door greeter know and he would radio for assistant.
It was finally time to count down the Register. Yea Ha! Tweleve Thousand Something and 25 cents off. It's a good thing I'm not a perfectionist.
The Supervisor walks in just as I'm about to leave. "Would you like to work over." she asked. "No! Only if you are really really desperate," I reply. "I'll dance at your wedding" she answers. "It's a clothing optional wedding and bring your dancing shoes" I replied back.
Door Greeter Duty - Here I come!!!!!!
As I was heading for the door, the Door Greeter remarked, "There have been some real jacka$$es coming though this door today."
"Yeah! and I bet you sent them all to MY Register," OH WELL! One more HOur and One Minute at at time, I made it the end of the shift and Home in time to fix Mr. Joe a Rueben Sandwhich with Sweet Potato Fries. Now I am going to jump in his Hot Tub. Ten More Days till Xmas! Woo Hoo!
My called. He works as a waiter. He told me how he inadvertly splashed some ranch dressing on an obnoxious customer and the customers at the next table gave him an extra special tip. Too Bad, Cashiers don't get extra special tips. 
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