Close Please enter your Username and Password


starwomyn 70F
5429 posts
2/5/2009 8:56 pm

Last Read:
2/6/2009 4:20 pm

The Weight Study Clinic, Family History and the Second Saturn Return


Yea Ha! I've been accepted into the Weight Control Study at the Charlottesville Medical Research Clinic.

"Mother Gaia Hear My Plea - Make Me the Size I wish to Be. The Size I am is way Big. Lucky Twelve is right for me but Ten would be better." Paraphrased quote that I found in on-line Book of Shadows.

Granted, I have some very vain reasons for wanting to reduce my Body Mass Index but there is also a Higher Mission. I have lost several members of my family because of Obesity.

First came my Paternal Blackfeet Indian Grandmother. She died at the age of 59 just after her second Saturn Return. When I was pregnant with my older , I wanted to name a Dana Leona to honor her. I felt her closeness for some reason at that time. I had a vision of my Paternal Grandmother. Her body was freed from all that massive weight. She had long black hair and was riding a White through some water. When I discovered Native American Spirituality, I would have loved to been able to tap into her wisdom.

Next went my beloved Step Granddaddy into the Spiritworld. He was Fifty-Three. He never finished High School yet managed to be a successful business owner. I've always wanted my own business. I sort of have one on the Bay but it's nothing like his. I wish I could tap into his Business Savvy.

Later came my Father who passed at 57 during his Second Saturn Return. I never really appreciated my Father until he was gone. I figured he must have gone into an Early Grave to get away from my Mother who a real nag but Compulsive Overeating was the major factor. He was a Military Man who survived Korea AND Vietnam. Later he became a Union Activist. A few years after he was gone, so was I. I really missed having him to talk to about it.

Two years ago, it was my Brother. Dang, I am the First Born and he's number three. It should have been me that went before him. He was only 50. He never even reached his second Saturn Return.

They are my Higher Mission. I want to be in the study for them and People like them who will survive the Second Saturn Return because I participated in this Study. It's hope for the future and I want to be a part of it.

Now for the Reasons that are not so noble. The Texas Truck Driver deemed me unworthy of his love because my a$$ was too fat and kept his Massive Dr. Pepper Belly. God Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change. I can't change the fact that he's a Schmuck. It's a lucky escape. That Belly is a heart attack waiting to happen and I'll be out hiking instead nursing that sorry excuse of a man. Courage to change the things that I can. I can take full responsibility for my fat a$$ and do something about it.

When I found Wal-Mart instead of Love, I lost 30 pounds. I worked at Wal-Mart in Texas, Nevada and Virginia. I thought I found Love again and transferred to Sam's Club in Charlottesville Virginia. I signed up to Volunteer for the Weight Control Study. Mr. Joe followed suit. They liked him better than me so he got accepted first. Now Mr. Joe is minus thirty pounds and I have lost another eleven.

Mr. Joe doesn't love me so I'll cry a river, build a bridge and get over it. It's an Eighteen Month Long Study and within Eighteen Month, I'll be drop dead gorgeous. I am a former exotic dancer and used to make top dollars showing it off for mankind. He'll be sorry that he ever threw me away and THAT'S a goal worth striving for. I may not be the Domestic Goddess with the Hot Woo Woo that he wants but He still has me to thank for that Heart Attack that he's not going to have. Life on Life's Terms.



Abracadabra