I Want To Dance With A Fairy .....
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Posted:Jan 18, 2008 10:35 pm
Last Updated:Aug 18, 2008 4:10 am 3015 Views
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I want to dance with a fairy
And make my dreams come true
As the kind and lovely lady
Always grant a wish or two
If I were to drink with a goblin
And down pints and pints of ale
Would he take me treasure-hunting
Across meadows and down dale
I will sing with a merry elf
Even if I go out of tune
If it brings me fabulous wealth
And eternal good fortune
If I can follow a leprechaun
To the end of the rainbow
I can sneak off at the crack of dawn
With a monstrous pot in tow
I will joust with the noble dragon
For some fine lady's hand
And when I wed the beautiful maiden
There shall be a Rock band
If only I have the pleasure
Of hobnobbing with a gnome
I can admire the fabled treasure
And take some of it home
I would love to ride the mystical unicorn
And gallivant around the world
From the Northern Lights down to Cape Horn
In search of the elusive Black Pearl
If I can do all of the above
I shall be richer than a king
I will give it all to my one true love
The love that means everything
Lee
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I have decided to catch for myself a leprechaun
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Posted:Dec 31, 2007 9:11 am
Last Updated:Dec 14, 2010 8:48 pm 3462 Views
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I have been scrimping and saving for some time now but I still cannot save enough for my trip to Japan. So, I have decided to catch for myself a leprechaun. Why? Because it is the easiest way to get rich! Let me explain.
According to the wizardress (a female wizard), Madam Enid Blyton, leprechauns are the only ones who know where the end of the rainbow is and, everybody knows that at the end of the rainbow lies a huge pot of gold.
Why is it that only leprechauns know where the end of the rainbow is located? Well, according to mythology, all leprechauns are gold miners. In the old days, they mined the gold and buried them in secret hiding places. Unfortunately, leprechauns are also very forgetful; so they could not remember the places where their gold were buried.
One day, they decided to ask the Fairy Godmother for help. The Fairy Godmother, being a kind and helpful lady, waved her magic wand while reciting a secret magic formula (which I cannot reveal here because it has been copyrighted) and, lo and behold, a huge pot appeared at the end of the rainbow! The Fairy Godmother then advised the leprechauns to store their gold in the pot. "But what if others were to steal our gold?" the leprechauns chorused. With a serene smile on her face and a twinkle in her eyes, the Fairy Godmother replied calmly, "Nobody can steal your gold because only you can find the end of the rainbow. Others can only see the top half of the rainbow but not the bottom half because it is of the colours der, erango, welloy, nreeg, elub, ondigi and tiolev which only you can see." So, it came to be that only leprechauns can find the end of the rainbow.
So how do you make a leprechaun take you to the gold? They are such misers.
I will let you in on a secret if you promise not to tell anyone. You promise? OK, I believe you. Leprechauns have one weakness; even greater than their love of gold is their fear of bathing. All one has to do is to pretend to make them take a bath and they would gladly take you to the end of the rainbow.
Now, has anybody seen a little old man with a beard dressed all in green like Robin Hood? 
Lee
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Large leeches, small leeches
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Posted:Dec 31, 2007 2:42 am
Last Updated:Jan 20, 2013 5:48 am 3067 Views
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Taiping is situated at the foot of the Malayan Mountain Range. As such, there are a number of foothills around Taiping from which, rivers and streams flow slowly to the sea. Taiping is a town built from tin-mining. The tin-mining industry is over now and the tin dredgers have disappeared, leaving behind numerous mining ponds in ex-mining land - a bleak and barren land of white sand, pebbles and stones where only a few hardy shrubs and patches of tall grass called lalang can grow.
When I was about twelve, our family relocated to Kamunting, a small village about 5 kilometers away from Taiping and the last place to be mined. On weekends, my new-found friends and I would play in the ex-mining land that surrounds the village.
One morning, while we were washing our feet in a small river that meanders through this land, we noticed that there were "Buffalo" leeches in the water. ("Buffalo" leeches are large leeches about 10 cm long and 1 cm thick with brown variegation on its back. It lives in water and are frequently found attached to water buffaloes, hence its name). We then decided to have some fun with these leeches.
We divided ourselves into two teams. One team dived into the river, which is about 30 feet wide, and quickly swam to the other bank, with the leeches in hot pursuit. One of them then dived into the water again and swam back to this side of the river, with the leeches following behind. When the leeches had reached this side, a member of the second team dived into the river and swam to the other side, with the leeches again in pursuit. Our relay race with the leeches went on and on and I cannot remember who won but, I do know that there was a bunch of very tired "Buffalo" leeches on that day.
Then, there are the "land" leeches. These are smaller, about 3 cm long and 3 mm thick, and are dark brown in colour. They move the same way as caterpillars do and are often found amongst wet grass. Sometimes though, they may just drop onto you from the branch of a tree.
One memorable experience I had with these smaller leeches was when two friends and I were climbing up a forested hill on the way to a durian orchard. When we reached a clearing, we decided to stop for a rest. We were chatting when one of my friends suddenly shouted, "Leeches!" and pointed to the ground about 20 feet away. When I looked, I saw an army of leeches among the grass, racing towards us! Needless to say, we hurried off up the hill.
On another occasion, I found a leech between my toes when I was at home in the kitchen. Pulling it off, I then threw the leech onto some burning charcoal in a stove. Imagine my surprise when the leech began to suck the flame from the charcoal, expanded like a balloon and then exploded. Apparently, these leeches will suck anything that's warm, be it blood or flame!
However, these blood-suckers are not all bad. Leeches have anti-clotting proteins in their saliva which allow them to continue to draw a smooth flow of blood from their hosts. An anti-clog drug, called hirulog, derived from the hirudin protein in leech saliva, is already in the market. It is used to keep blood smooth-flowing and thus prevent that heart attack or stroke arising from a clogged artery.
Lee
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Patient dies after 30 hospitals rejected her
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Posted:Dec 29, 2007 12:41 am
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2007 3:14 am 2997 Views
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I read in the papers this morning that in Osaka, Japan, an 89-year-old woman died after an ambulance crew spent two hours trying 30 hospitals before finding one that would accept her for treatment.
The woman's family called an ambulance early on Tuesday morning after she vomited and had diarrhoea. The ambulance crew and local fire department contacted 30 hospitals before one of them finally agreed to admit her. That was about two hours after her family had called for an ambulance. The woman's heart stopped when she was taken to the hospital. She was resuscitated at the hospital but died on Wednesday. Other hospitals had rejected the woman, claiming they were full or that their doctors are not immediately available to treat her.
Last year, a pregnant woman in western Japan died after being refused admission by about 20 hospitals that said they were full.
How can this be happening in a developed country like Japan? What about other countries? Is this happening, too?
Lee
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Kite-Flying Alone Is Not Much Fun
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Posted:Dec 1, 2007 2:13 am
Last Updated:Dec 22, 2007 8:39 pm 2872 Views
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The Malaysian "cherry" tree can grow to about twenty feet tall. It has numerous lateral branches which grow horizontally. As such, from afar, it resembles an umbrella. It has small white flowers which bloom throughout the year. The flowers give rise to the small cherry fruit. The unripe fruit is hard and green but turns soft and succulent with a thin red skin on ripening.
When I was a I spent a lot of time up in the cherry tree which grew beside our house. It was my sanctuary. Whenever I had a fight with my brother, I would climb and stay up in the tree while he would be stamping around on the ground, fuming. Sometimes, he would pretend to go home but I was not that easily fooled. Soon, he would be furtively peeping from behind our neighbour's house.
Up in the tree, I can lie down on a bed of branches with the foliage providing ample shade and I can watch when the bees, butterflies and birds drop by. The bird that I liked the most is small, fluffy, apple-green in colour and has a long, curved beak. It would hover and dart around the flowers and cherries with its wings flapping rapidly. I think it is a humming-bird. Sometimes I could spot a fellow "watcher" amongst the leaves. It is the tree lizard that we called the "tocket". It is green in colour, about a foot long and has a fine, long tail. It has ridges on its back and a red patch on its cheek and is rather like a small salamander.
At times I would day-dream about Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn along the banks of the Mississippi, the fairies, elves and leprechauns of Ireland, fishing in the South Sea Islands and so on. Sometimes I would even doze off.
You are most probably wondering why my brother did not climb up the tree after me. Let me explain. The wood of the cherry tree is hard and elastic; as such, the branches do not break easily and, in fact, are quite flexible. If one were to climb towards the end of the branch, it would just bend downward and if the branch is long enough, the end of the branch would reach the ground. Hence if one were to do it backwards, it is very much like climbing down a ladder. Many a time I have climbed down the tree this way.
The one time that my brother had climbed up the tree after me, I waited until he had almost reached me before quickly climbing down via a branch. When I stepped off the branch, it sprang back up and the whole tree shook. I could see my brother clinging to the tree for dear life, his face as white as a sheet and his eyes filled with terror as I scooted off to the hills.
My brother is one year older than me and my grandpa had named him after our town, Tai Ping, which in Chinese means "everlasting peace". He was always prim and proper and neatly dressed with his shiny hair plastered flat onto his scalp with "Brylcreem" while I preferred the "Born Free" look and the only time I combed my hair was when I had to go to school! My brother was also all the things I never was; he was the class monitor, a school prefect, librarian and badminton captain. Sheesh! He was also so stuffy! And, being the first-born, he was also my father's favourite. Of course, I was not envious of him! Okay, okay, maybe just a little.
Actually, I did not really want to fight with my brother; I just liked to tease him. The truth is, he is not a bad brother and we had had some good times together.
I remember during one Lantern Festival, our parents could not afford to buy lanterns for us so we decided to make our own. It was just candles stuck onto half a coconut shell and nothing like the pretty and colourful lanterns that the other had but, we were happy.
There was also the time when our father bought us a battered old bicycle. It was too tall for us but that did not prevent us from learning how to ride it though we fell many times. However, despite the scrapes and the bruises, we enjoyed ourselves.
Then there were the times when we secretly went swimming at Austin Pool. To reach the pool, we had to walk about a kilometer along a deserted path lined with Simpoh Ayer and Monkey Apple trees. (The Simpoh Ayer tree is short with bright yellow cup-shaped flowers, similar to the Buttercup, and large leaves which are often used for wrapping meat, fish and char koay teow (fried noodles with egg, prawns, clams and bean sprouts). The Monkey Apple tree is short with large, broad leaves and small, green, apple-shaped fruits which turn yellow when ripe. The ripe fruit has a soft, reddish flesh with numerous seeds. I now know that it is also known as the fig fruit). Mother had forbidden us to go swimming so, when no one was around, we would swim in the nude. Otherwise, we had to wait until our shorts dried before going home.
Then, he changed. He only wanted to be with his friends and I was left to play alone. Why, he even did not fly my kite with me; the kite that I made! Heck, kite-flying alone is not much fun.
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Love Is Just A Four-Letter Word
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Posted:Nov 30, 2007 8:38 pm
Last Updated:Jun 17, 2008 6:27 am 2764 Views
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Love is just a four-letter word
But do you know what it is?
Believe in me, my dear friend
It's not just eternal bliss
Puppy Love affects the young
The old, and not so old
How do you know it's Puppy Love?
Why, it blows hot and cold
Eternal Love or True Love
Some have the privilege to share
Be vigilant, my naive friend
It could be used to ensnare
Platonic Love is the only love
That says you're just a friend
If you want to take things up a notch
It drives you round the bend
A Lost Love is the dear one
You let slip through your fingers
You long for just one more chance
But only the memory of her lingers
Secret Love is between those
Who hide their lover's nest
It's clear as day the reason here
Is to prevent an inquest
Unrequited Love is so very sad
And you may never heal
There is this question I have to ask
Does she know how you feel?
Careless Love is the best of all
You don't even have to care!
But don't be surprised when you turn around
To find she's no longer there
Cyber Love is the e-love
That has spread through the Internet
You can fall for one you've never seen
Or one that you've never met
Then there is this strangest of love
That's called "No Love Lost"
It means the love for your fellow men
Must be suppressed at any cost
Love is just another four-letter word
That has been tossed around
In blogs, in mail, in the magazine
It kept us all spellbound
Lee
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True Reasons For Divorce?
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Posted:Nov 20, 2007 2:32 am
Last Updated:Dec 1, 2007 8:45 pm 3036 Views
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I read in the papers today that a growing number of Japanese women have begun suing their husbands for divorce once the men retire. It was written that the aim of the women is to bring an end to longstanding marital problems caused by the indifference of their husbands as well as their incompetence in the home. It was further reported that interviews with Japanese women revealed that everything boiled down to the desire of wives to hear their husbands say the "three magic phrases" more often: "Thank you", "Sorry" and "I love you".
I wonder if this is true and also, why women would want to wait until the men retire to file for divorce - after so many years together, learning to survive and overcome so many problems?
Lee
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With You Beside Me
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Posted:Nov 17, 2007 11:41 pm
Last Updated:Feb 28, 2009 12:07 pm 2849 Views
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With you beside me
Throughout life's meander
Ahead we trudge
With no surrender
Through thick and thin
And tears that splatter
The love we forged
Withstands forever
With you beside me
So soft and tender
You caress my soul
And stoke my fire
My arousal tweaked
To the peak of desire
The joy of abandonment
Explodes asunder!
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An Ode To The Seniors
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Posted:Nov 10, 2007 12:44 am
Last Updated:Jul 23, 2012 8:37 am 3183 Views
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Recently I have met two charming senior ladies. One of them, seated in a wheelchair, would smile broadly and wave at everybody she meets at the Taiping Lake Gardens in the morning. The other, who sells lottery tickets at the market, is friendly and vivacious. Their zest for life has impressed me. As such, I have decided to update a verse that I had previously written.
Dusk is here. The day is done
How the years flew, one by one
Memories linger where once was fun
Will I be here to face tomorrow's sun?
The silence so desolate since you are gone
The emptiness numbing when I'm all alone
Tear-stained pillows to greet the morn'
The nights are long and the sleep, forlorn
The will is lost and the spirit, low
Who is there to hear my cry of woe?
I'm still hurting, the pain runs deep
In the still of night, for you I weep
For you my love I shall be brave
Thus I will delay the peace I crave
I guess I'll stick around for awhile
To greet everyday and everything with a smile
A life worth living is one with zest
One pregnant with joy and no regrets
One which has nothing but only the best
"Oh yes my dear. That includes sex"
Go find a friend; go find a mate
Go find romance or even "get laid"
To find your destiny, you have to tempt fate
So tonight my darling, would you be my date?
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The Most Beautiful Catapult Ever
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Posted:Nov 6, 2007 5:09 am
Last Updated:Jan 20, 2013 5:47 am 2828 Views
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When I was a , the house we lived in is at the foot of a series of hills. A small stream which originates from these hills flowed past our house. One day, a friend and I decided to trace the source of the stream. So, we headed upstream, clambering over the numerous rocks and boulders that filled the stream and ducking under the ferns and tall grass that lined both sides of the stream. After climbing for hours and tiring from the effort, we were relieved that we were approaching the highest peak. We knew then that the end of our climb is near.
Suddenly we reached a clearing and we realized that we had reached a rubber estate. What surprised us was there was a cement pool about ten feet wide, twenty feet long and three feet high in the clearing. Now, who would want to build a swimming pool in a rubber estate on top of a hill I wondered? Slowly we approached the pool. It was almost as tall as us and when we peered inside, we were astonished to see that it was full of tortoises of all sizes! Before we could react, a man suddenly emerged from behind some rubber trees and I immediately recognized him as Mister Hendricks, a teacher in my school who was known to be quite stern. He wanted to know what we were doing there and we quickly explained to him our mission and assured him that we were not there to steal the tortoises. To our immense relief, he believed us.
We wanted to continue on our journey but Mister Hendricks refused to allow us to go further into his estate saying that the climb up the peak is very steep and dangerous. Grudgingly, we gave up our quest. Hell, we were dead tired anyway. When we bade Mister Hendricks goodbye, I swear I could see the ghost of a smile on his face and laughter in his eyes; hmm, maybe he was not that stern after all.
I used to go fishing at a small pool in the stream too. Fishing then was simple; a bamboo pole, a string and a hook. I used bread crumbs as bait. The fish that I usually caught were what we then called "white fish" which thrives amongst the rocks of swift flowing waters. These are small fish about a few inches long with pink fins and large prominent scales which are shiny and have a golden hue. I think these are a type of carp fish.
But the fish that I cannot forget was the catfish that I caught. It was very different from the other types of catfish which lives in drains and are either grey or dark in colour. This catfish was brown in colour with two white rings on both sides of its body. I have never seen such a beautiful catfish before and decided to take it home with me. I kept it in a tin of water and fed it with bread crumbs. However, the catfish refused to eat. In fact, it hardly moved at all. It grew thinner and thinner and after about a week, it finally dawned on me that the poor fella must be homesick. So, reluctantly, I took it back to the pool where I had caught it and released it. It immediately swam under a rock without even a goodbye. Oh well, I guess it had a right to be annoyed.
The hill immediately behind our house was uninhabited and covered with brush. One day, I had climbed up the hill alone to look for the best forked branch to make a catapult. The small trees and shrubs reached up to my chin as I waded into the undergrowth. Finally, after a long search, I found the perfect fork, chopped it off and took it home with me. That night, I noticed two pairs of puncture marks on my thigh. My uncle told me that these marks were made by snake bites and that I had been bitten twice! Darn! Had that snake been venomous, my body would never have been found for no one knew that I was up in the hills that morning.
The catapult I made was a beauty with perfectly symmetrical arms shaped like the horns of a water buffalo and I was so proud! Unfortunately, I only used it twice.
The first time was one evening when, for some unknown reason, the blooming giant angsana tree near my house was literally swarmed by thousands of tiny green birds. The familiar yellow flowers of the angsana which normally cover the tree was completely hidden by a carpet of green birds and there was a loud humming sound. I took my catapult out and shot a marble straight up into the birds in the tree. The tree was about fifty feet tall and I was not sure I hit anything until I saw one of the birds detach itself from the rest and began to slowly spiral downward. When it finally reached the ground, I noticed that one of its tiny wings had been broken and I instinctively knew that it would not survive. I felt bad because I did not mean it any harm. I just wanted to hold one of these cute fluffy little birds in my hands.
The second time was when I spotted the most beautiful bird that I had ever seen among the hibiscus plants at the back of my neighbour’s house. It was dark blue in colour with shiny green patches at the breast and specks of yellow and orange all over. I shot at it with my catapult and it fell to the ground. I stared, transfixed with horror, as it thrashed about on the ground in its death throes and then, suddenly, it was still. I knew it was dead. The remorse hit me hard and I flung away my catapult.
So if any of you are interested in the most beautiful catapult ever, it is still lying there, somewhere among the shrubs at the back of my old house.
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