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A Whale of a Tale 1/23/2005
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
<br>
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale
to swallow a human because even though it was a very large
mammal its throat was very small.
<br>
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not
swallow a human; it was ...
0 Comments, 92 Views,
14 Votes
,4.74 Score
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Lotus Touts 1/19/2005
ONE
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
<br>
TWO
Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their
conversational skills will be as important as any other.
<br>
THREE
Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep
all you want.
<br>
FOUR
When you say, "I love you, " mean it.
<br>
FIVE
When you ...
0 Comments, 146 Views,
19 Votes
,6.82 Score
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Stop This Conspiracy!!! 1/17/2005
We Must Stop This Immediately!
<br>
Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper, groceries
are heavier and everything is farther away? Yesterday
I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover
how long our street had become!
<br>
And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially
the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you
ask ...
1 Comments, 63 Views,
7 Votes
,4.06 Score
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Direct Route 1/17/2005
A woman was stopped by a police officer, who asked her why
she was driving 66 miles per hour when the speed limit was
35. The lady replied, "But, officer, I saw a sign that
said 66." The officer patiently explained, "Ma'am,
that is the route number, not the speed limit."
<br>
"Oh, goodness, officer!" the lady exclaimed.
"It's a good thing you didn't see me on Route
109."
0 Comments, 86 Views,
13 Votes
,3.14 Score
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Bark Worse Than Bite 1/17/2005
Mama Cat took her kittens for a walk one day. Their pleasant
stroll was interrupted when a big mean threatened them.
Mama Cat went right up to him and began barking. The startled
immediately ran off, tail between its legs. Then Mama
Cat turned to her babies and said, "You see, --it
pays to know a second language."
0 Comments, 47 Views,
5 Votes
,4.77 Score
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Not Too Bright 1/17/2005
There was a not-too-bright fellow who decided to become
a counterfeiter. He hired an engraver of equal intelligence,
and they proceeded to produce some counterfeit money.
By some mix-up, the money turned out to be $11 bills.
<br>
Not wanting to waste the effort, the crook decided to head
to an isolated small town where he figured he could cash
the bogus bills. He went into a ...
0 Comments, 44 Views,
6 Votes
,3.93 Score
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Your Dessert Personality 1/17/2005
If all of the desserts listed below were sitting in front
of you, which would you choose? Pick your dessert, then
look to see what psychiatrists think about you!
<br>
(Sorry you can only pick one)
<br>
Angel Food Cake
Brownies
Lemon Meringue
White Cake with Chocolate Icing
Strawberry Shortcake
Chocolate on Chocolate Cake
Ice Cream
Carrot Cake
...
0 Comments, 106 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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Cough Syrup 1/17/2005
The owner of this drug store walks in to find a guy leaning
heavily against a wall.
<br>
The owner asks the clerk: "What's with that guy
over there by the wall?"
<br>
The clerk responds: "Well, he came in here this morning
to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the
cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."
<br>
The owner, ...
0 Comments, 55 Views,
5 Votes
,4.45 Score
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How to Cross a River 1/17/2005
One day, three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon
a large raging, violent river. They needed to get to the
other side, but had no idea of how to do so.
<br>
The first man prayed to God, saying, "Please God,
give me the strength to cross this river." Poof! God
gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim
across the river in about two hours, after almost ...
0 Comments, 39 Views,
6 Votes
,4.50 Score
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Lessons From a Hurricane 1/17/2005
I dedicate this to all those dear souls who endured 4 hurricanes
in Florida last summer!
<br>
* Coffee and frozen pizzas can be made on a BBQ grill.
* No matter how many times you flick the switch, lights don't
work without electricity.
* can survive 4 days or longer without a video game controller
in their hand.
* Cats are even more irritating without power.
* He ...
1 Comments, 35 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
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Keep Your Fork 1/16/2005
There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal
illness and had been given three months to live. So as she
was getting her things "in order, " she contacted
her Pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain
aspects of her final wishes.
<br>
She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service,
what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she ...
0 Comments, 624 Views,
79 Votes
,7.95 Score
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The Most 1/15/2005
The most destructive habit.......Worry
The greatest Joy.................Giving
The greatest loss............Loss of self-respect
<br>
The most satisfying work......Helping others
The ugliest personality trait...Selfishness
The most endangered species...Dedicated leaders
<br>
Our greatest natural resource...Our youth
The greatest "shot in the arm"..Encouragement
The ...
0 Comments, 33 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
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LAME 1/11/2005
Does anyone out 'there' think this is the '...friendfinder'
are the LAMEST personal services out there?
First, they don't let you actually 'see'
the profiles and PICTURES (browse) before joining...hmmmmmm
THAT should tell one something!
Then, IF one does get suckered into joining, one gets 'matches'
that are nothing like the criteria listed.
Thirdly, many of the contact members ...
3 Comments, 160 Views,
11 Votes
,3.73 Score
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Sex 12/27/2004
Sex is more fun than baseball and I've played both.
<br>
<br>
I'm just not interested in sex anymore. Perhaps this
comes from relatioship disappointments or just the cultural
emphasis on it.
<br>
<br>
I'm far more interested in what toppings a lady has
on her coney. Ok, there's a sexual image there if you
hold the onions.
<br>
<br>
There ...
0 Comments, 79 Views,
7 Votes
,1.51 Score
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Nursing Homes Should be better 12/25/2004
My father is in a nursing home. When I go to visit him, I know
that he doesn't like it their, but, I know he's
getting the care that he need's their. I feel very sad
when it's time to leave. I know he doesn't want
me to leave, or say good-bye. I've told him that I've
their could be anywhere in the world that I would want him
to be, it would doing what he use to do. He was a ham radio ...
3 Comments, 53 Views,
5 Votes
,4.45 Score
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Advice on Advice 12/23/2004
I have recently observed that many people have been offering
me advice lately as my court daye arrives and even before
the filing....well, even during the marriage. 'Advice'
can be very noiusy, congested, and frankly, overwhelming
to the point of added stress. What I have learned through
all this is to be polite and receptive, but to trust my own
intuition and feelings through personal ...
1 Comments, 85 Views,
8 Votes
,1.62 Score
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safety tips women should know & practice 11/20/2004
Don't Be A Crime Victim!
I am sending this to every woman I know, ,please read it
and pass it on to all your female friends, ,
<br>
<br>
<br>
Some time ago, I attended a personal safety workshop, and
it jolted me. It was given by an amazing man, Pat Malone,
who has been a body guard for famous figures like Farrah
Fawcett and Sylvester Stallone. He works for ...
1 Comments, 20 Views,
11 Votes
,5.41 Score
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Safety & Survival Signals for Women 11/20/2004
The Gift of Fear
<br>
and Other Survival Signals That Protect Us From Violence
<br>
By Gavin de Becker
<br>
<br>
<br>
The following is taken from pages 210-212.
<br>
There are many reliable pre-incident indicators associated
with spousal violence and murder. They won't all be
present in every case, but if a situation has ...
0 Comments, 32 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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RE: "Think about it..." 11/18/2004
To the members that took the time to reply, I thank you.
<br>
For clarification: I totally agree that the open forum
is certainly no place to talk about our sexual acts specifically.
I was hoping that by the examples of questions I gave that
most would grasp the concept that I was not speaking of being
able to post our “bedroom antics”. But alas, it is obvious
by ...
0 Comments, 41 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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RE: "Think it...But don't say it" 11/18/2004
To the members that took the time to reply, I thank you.
<br>
For clarification: I totally agree that the open forum
is certainly no place to talk about our sexual acts specifically.
I was hoping that by the examples of questions I gave that
most would grasp the concept that I was not speaking of being
able to post our “bedroom antics”. But alas, it is obvious
by ...
0 Comments, 20 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
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Think it... but don’t say it! 11/16/2004
SFF in all its great wisdom used the power of censorship
and denied my last attempt to post a question with regards
to this subject. Maybe a toned down version of the question
will make it past the all-powerful censors this time.
<br>
Why are the topics with regards to sex, sensuality and sexuality
skirted around and avoided here on SFF?
<br>
My goodness we are all ...
2 Comments, 44 Views,
11 Votes
,2.79 Score
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Really what are the chances? 11/15/2004
Being as I live in what is referred to as a remote location
[a very small mountain community] I naturally
don’t expect to find “miss wonderful” close by. I have met
and been in contact with a few really nice ladies that I have
met here on SFF but the problem is that they live across this
nation or in another country. I mean not one is even from
the same state for ...
2 Comments, 41 Views,
6 Votes
,4.79 Score
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Dominant or submissive: Has age changed your tendencies? 11/11/2004
I have a question that is directed more towards the ladies
but comments from the gentlemen are also welcomed.
Question: Do you think that with age you have become more
Dominant or submissive with regards to your attitude and
role within a personal relationship with a present or future
partner?
<br>
Please share your reasons that would incline you to answer
either way.
Kassr
1 Comments, 35 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
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RE: "Now that the holidays are here, Remember to be kind. 11/7/2004
My goodness you sure make the holiday season sound like
some sort of terrible sentence imposed upon singles. And
your assumptions as to what and how men deal with the holiday
season seems critical if not damn insulting to say the least.
Now I haven’t a clue as to where you have been located while
observing nor what kind of men you have chosen to observe
but I am going to truly enjoy ...
3 Comments, 9 Views,
8 Votes
,3.71 Score
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RE: Now that holidays are here 11/7/2004
Woah, I have to agree with Kassar and his comments. I find
that at this time of year and in fact with all the holidays
I have to be careful and attend those invitations that are
of importance not only to me but also important to those
who have extended the invitation, family, friend, business.
Some are formal and some are come as you are, and I do enjoy
the company of a friend/companion of ...
0 Comments, 14 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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Breaking the Ice 11/6/2004
I have noticed that many times the question of how to start
a conversation with someone you have just met on-line has
been asked. I have been asked this same question in so many
emails and on IM that I thought I would humbly and openly
offer a sample of how I personally approach this matter
of breaking the ice. This is a copy of my 2nd contact with
a lovely lady in China. Let’s see ...
0 Comments, 39 Views,
10 Votes
,3.19 Score
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Now that the holidays are here, remember to be kind. 11/6/2004
The holidays are now upon us and we know how lonely and depressing
this can be if one is alone.
Every where you go you are reminded. Happy couples, happy
little families, laughing, enjoying the holidays.
It would be simpler if single persons had a cave they could
take up hibernation in until it all passed. However, it
does pass. Always, it passes, year after year, after year.
Now just ...
5 Comments, 18 Views,
15 Votes
,1.75 Score
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RE: Must be a of bad society 11/5/2004
The Gothic look, Punk look, Hippy look, Clean cut look,
and on and on. She Bear is right, we are all individuals and
as such react to society in different ways. A of working
parents may rebel at the lack of attention he/she gets and
dresses for shock value to get their attention. Most of
the parents do not know how to react and give the hell
for being the way they are and then the war is ...
1 Comments, 24 Views,
6 Votes
,5.36 Score
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Takes My Breath Away: 11/1/2004
Why is it that as a lady matures they seem to have the need
to drown themselves in perfume?
Kassr
6 Comments, 20 Views,
6 Votes
,4.50 Score
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To Active for My Age? 10/31/2004
Surfing, water skiing, moderate free style rock climbing,
4 x 4 off road driving, driving a snowmobile, camping, fishing
and extreme home remodeling are some of the activities
I enjoy frequently. Until recently I never gave a thought
about my hobbies and activities as being unusual for a man
of 57 years old.
A few weeks ago I was having dinner with a couple that have
been friends for ...
1 Comments, 19 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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