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41 comments
I totally understand this, as this site became very distracting for me during the time that I was actively meeting people. Celibacy? I didn’t go that far. At some point I did decide that long heartfelt emails/chat sessions with faraway men who I likely was never going to meet in person, were off the table!
Exactly, I've had to become very selective on starting new communications. With the exception of pen-pals in other countries, I started focusing on local AFFers. My previous celibacy was not intentional, more a "resolved to prioritize my Autistic son's needs" thing... now it's to take control to deal with pressing obligations and be creative. I'll find balance and put sex back on the table again soon I'm sure LOL!
I'm guessing you could waste a lot of time on Adult Fantasy Finder chasing ghosts and non existent dates etc. Finding suitable people nearby seems to be almost as much a nightmare for women as for men.
Be very careful with your time management though because life can pass you by extremely quickly and before you know it having a nice fuck or not having one will no longer be a thing of choice (unless you happen upon someone a lot younger looking for a tutor).
The very best of luck to you looking after your autistic son, to be quite frank, you, and people like you deserve a medal and the best wishes of all around you. I am very fortunate to have two lovely daughters and 4 lovely grandchildren who are all fit and healthy. I feel very lucky in that respect. Would still be great to have a nice fuck now and then though
XOXO
Hi, nice to hear from you! Thanks for your kind words! I'm happy for your healthy family! Fortunately, 15 years of services has my extremely intelligent Autistic son self-sufficient now. This is the reason I can date again after 15 years of celibacy. I will never go so long without sex again! I hope you make it a priority in your life...sounds like you would enjoy it! Go for it!
@sweetmamm That's a lovely reply from you, thank you so much. xxx
I hope you find all you are looking for. You should, you are a great person and deserve the best.
Paul xxx
@neterin
Hi Paul, your kind wishes are very much appreciated & reciprocated! Hope you get that "nice fuck now and then" you were wishing for too!
Gl with the celibacy
Thanks...little surprised that you support the idea. Have you tried a self-imposed celibacy? If so, how'd it go?
@sweetmamm never have lol still active for sure
@Uwsking3
I hear ya... it's my preference to be active too. I'll find my way back there again. Enjoy!
Great post
Thank you
Hi Mary,
Like we've talked about, set your priorities and time balances to correspond with your energy and creativity cycles, during the day.
Yes, celibacy can help, which is why professional athletes tend to be sequestered before big events, etc. It lessens the potential for distractions, reduces energy drain from the body, conserves nutrients, and can be a form of Tantric self-love, if performed with the right mindset.
Don't impose deadlines, as creativity doesn't typically flow well in vessels that are stressing to meet some self-imposed time restraint or stressing over anything else.
Oh yes, first of all, you can never ever, make up for lost anything, whether it be sex, time, etc. Once a molecule of water, passes a point in a stream or river, it will never pass by that point, again. Loss of time, or anything, is just that, a loss. Which is why every moment of everyday should be experienced and lived to its fullest. Anything less, is a loss, no matter, what that loss is.
As for finishing your short story, go back and revisit it's purpose, then outline what you have and compare to the original purpose. If subconsciously, you keep redefining the purpose, then it will never be a completed piece of literature. Rethink why you keep rewriting your t0 to take it.
Big Hugs,
Hey Tom, thanks for your comments--they are always greatly appreciated! I've taken your advice, and started my days writing...as that's when my creative juices are flowing.
I also don't impose deadlines if possible...I ended up writing & researching most of the day & night yesterday. I love doing that when life permits. I'm blown away at how the hours fly when I'm writing, having me completely enthralled.
Funny thought just came to mind...a topic you and I discuss often...it's like tantric! Yeah, like with sex, when I'm writing, I get so deep in a zone that I can go hours, and hours doing it--falling into a time warp of sorts. I love it!
Regarding my 15 years of celibacy, I know I can't make up for lost time. I think that's what I've subconsciously been trying to do though. The time consuming efforts of dating again have been throwing the rest of my life out of balance. It's terrific getting all this attention on dating sites, but so challenging to vette & gain familiarity, to just get to the point of meeting. Trying to do this with so many respondents has become a job in itself--resulting in my decision to go "full stop" for a while.
As for the short story that has been kicking my ass--it has been going off on different tangents. You are right that it's purpose keeps wavering. At this point, the damn thing is turning into a novella! I'm thinking I may need to split it into more than one story...but, I don't want to do that. I feel there is hope for it yet lol!
@sweetmamm
Hey Mary,
You're very welcome and I am glad that you're back writing. That's great that my suggestion has helped .
Yes, all passions, should be like Tantric sex, and I think that is great, that you are understanding and relating the two. No imposed deadlines or time restraints are great, just be mindful of the traps that other authors or screen play writers have fallen into, as they immersed themselves so deeply, that it became an addiction. Their health suffering, because they weren't eating or hydrating properly.
Yes, I would conclude the same, as subconsciously, you were trying to play catch up, which is why I brought it up. Everything takes your time, therefore it's your choice on how you spend it. If going "Full Stop", for some undetermined amount of time is needed, so be it, as it will free up time to reflect on this year's dating experiences and sorr out the do's and don't, likes and dislikes, the must haves, nice to haves, etc. Periodically stopping for self-reflection is necessary, to see what fits into your energy, at the moment.
As for your not so short, short story, maybe time to reflect on its purpose and solidify that, then revisit the actual story and bounce it against the purpose. You'll figure out whether it's one part or multiples, but you need to take your audience into mind.
You are doing great and will learn how to balance everything, because you want to and that's what will drive your success.
Big Hugs
@TomCatnDubai
Gosh Tom! You really do need to look into the life-coaching certification we talked about! Man, do you ever have some good shit to say lol! Thanks!
@sweetmamm
Time management, is the key, in order to bring something new in, something old must go, providing that your efficiency factor is in the high 90% range. If not, then fix the efficiency factor and then add the new thing, whatever it is. So, that said, I'm working on it and figuring out whether something must go, for me to bring it into existence, in my life. Thanks Luv. Big Hugs
@TomCatnDubai
Guess that's how I came about this decision...somethimg has to go...at least for a period--until I can become more efficient--and find more balance. Best wishes figuring out your time management!
@sweetmamm
Thanks
I will start off by admitting that I am not completely celibate but understand where you are coming from. I have had to "cut back" from time to time just to have the time to pursue other creative and necessary endeavors of mine. I love sex just about more than anything but sometimes bills need to be paid, ideas need to be shared, and wood needs chopping.
I wish you all the best in your writing and look forward, as always, to your posts and warmth inspiring writings.
Thanks for your comments! Yes, you're right--things to do, stuff to create & share, and wood to be chopped lol! It feels great having made this decision. I'm certain this sexual hiatus will fuel my creativity, and give the much needed extra time to pursue it. I appreciate your interest in my writing, and your wishes! Spent most of the day writing & researching yesterday--not even sparing the time to check aff--so a new short story is about to emerge...hopefully today! Best wishes to you as well!
@sweetmamm I look forward to it.
Thats strange it said you replied but i can't see it.
That is strange...maybe not for aff though. It may show up later lol!
Here's my reply:
Hey, thanks for commenting. Hot sexy massaging would do me in if seeking celibacy... I'd be done for
& that would make it challenging to stay celibate lol! I'll be writing again soon... been stuck on my last story. Hopefully I will finish it today!
Enjoy your day!
@sweetmamm just a massgae with warm oil, slowly aplied to your warm soft skin maken sure he hits every spot. You laying there feeling his skin pressed against yours as he rubs and caresses you. Ocasionaly feeling his hard cock sliding across your ass, as he ...... sorry I'll stop now 😜
@Eroticwriter57
Are you starting another story lol
@sweetmamm i did check out my blog
I truly hope you find the way back to your writing once again. As for the celibacy sometimes you just need to do what you need to do. So i guess a full night of hot sexy massaging is out of the question...LOL..JK.. plus i have missed your blogs and stories to be honest...💋
Hey, thanks for commenting. Hot sexy massaging would do me in if seeking celibacy... I'd be done for
& that would make it challenging to stay celibate lol! I'll be writing again soon... been stuck on my last story. Hopefully I will finish it today!
Actually I. In this category to , I have been Celibate for close to 18 years . Yes I’m scared of the commitment issues.thanks I’m going to put my story up
Oh, I hope you do. I'd love to read it!