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20 comments
I e-mailed you,
You have a fantastic blog, would love to chat with you sometime
For a healthy successful relationship you need to be honest about this. If it upsets him or he is judgemental about it says more about him than you. Also he will probably find out eventually.
I agree wholeheartedly. Unfortunately this delima has flushed out other irreconcilable differences... seems it is a situation of agreeing to disagree & wishing him well... it’s just that he challenges me & I'm a succer for debating. It's a developing delima presently, and trying to be diplomatic, but it's like talking to a brick wall.
Its wondferful seeimg you write and alowimg yourself to be free. And the past is the past a true man should embrance your past. Because it is what hepled make you the person you are today. If he can't handle it then the move on.. Never let anyone stop you from growing and learning. And yes I too will start writing more than just stories in my blog. I have to run off back to work for a bit but have more to say. Hopefully soon ill fully retire for a second time, and write more. Not bad for just turning 50 i must say. 😋 chat soon.
Yay! Good to hear... looking forward to hearing your thoughts! I certainly appreciate your encouraging advice from today! Hope your life does allow you more time to write soon...and yes, I'd say not bad at all retiring by 50...twice no less...impressive!
FYI, there was a development that transpired after sharing my tantric story with a man who has been pursuing me on a dating site for a while. Haven't met yet, and now probably won't...just thought he was better than this. He seemed supportive of my writing aspirations, but couldn't handle my last story... said he didn't think it right that I tell about past experiences. Needless to say, I have much more I want to write about this topic concerning narrow-mindedness. He may have inadvertently just become my muse regarding this subject...especially since it appears this is a breaking point with him. I like your eloquent words concerning this exact situation. Thank you!
Hi Mary,
For me personally, having an experience partner is far more rewarding and satisfying, as we have discussed in our bantering from your post. I enjoy discussing my partners experiences, if the wish to share, as I am such a voyeur, it feels as if I was there.
About the guy. What I have observed or listened to, over the years, is typically a man who gets upset about a partner or potential partner's past, has a narcissistic personality and because her past is out of his control, he cannot stand it. I have always believed if women shared their pasts more and watched and listened to their perspective partner, they would avoid situations where they are caught up in someone's narcissistic behaviors. I enjoyed talking with my wife, even before we were married, about her previous experiences, with both female and male partners. It always made us both extremely horny and made for hours of amazing sex afterwards. I never felt intimidated by her experiences, but grateful for all the knowledge, of what she liked and enjoyed, that she brought to our bedroom. Hell, she had experienced 10 to 15 times the women I had, and 150% more men than women. I never once thought negatively or poorly about it.
As far as your writing skills, you already know my feelings, as they are a gift, for you to use, cultivate and share, with the world.
Thanks and big hugs,
Tom
@TomCatnDubai
Oh Tom, would that there were more men like you in the world! You seem like a very enlightened person, and I share your views on this being narcissistic behavior. You make great points...I'd love to be able to share all my experiences with my partner... and you are right in that those experiences are part of what makes me the person I am--which he seemed to like, until he became threatened by my tantric story.
I've fallen prey to this type of man all too often in my life...I'm a people-pleaser, and that makes me vulnerable. Having been in seven long-term relationships--including a 10 year marriage, and a seven year live-in engagement. You'd think I'd be able to see the warning signs faster by now...but, what can I say--charm does a number on me...and oh, what's that other thing about being blind lol!
Gosh, it truly pleases me that you make reference to me being a writer. Thank you!
I hope you know how eloquent I think you are, and I find truly enjoy reading your messages!
Mary,
We all, being part of the whole human collective, must become more enlightened and the sooner the better, as more truth will be revealed. Let me make a small correction, that your narcissistic behavior friend wasn't threat by your Tantric story, but his own personal short comings, he knew with your growth and desires, he would never be in control.
Well, it is time to take a moment and honestly analyze every single relationship, but specifically how you ended up, in them. Once you have all the good and negative things written down, then figure out how you didn't know. Was it that you didn't talk in depth enough or ask the specific questions that would have given you the proper information or data? Remember, each relationship starts like a job interview, with questions and answers, but learn to ask each question two or three different ways. If you get conflicting answers to the same question, the there's the first red flag. Next is just be extremely vigilant in your observations of all their onteracts with other people, then their friends and yours. If there is a difference in those interactions, then it requires more observation. Just like shopping in a grocery, if you don't like the produce, you move on, then if each or most of your relationships come from the bar/club scene or any other single type atmosphere, then change types of venues. Also, as part of this self-reflection, really determine what you want to accomplish, be, do, etc, with your life, then any future partner must fit into your goals, desires, and experiences, if not, NEXT!!! Write a personal action plan to be your guide. Review, monitor, control and adjust, just like any business does, whether it is monthly, quarterly, semiannually, or annually, but do it with the same resolve, as corporations perform it. When things start going sideways, it is natural that you start doubting yourself and/or your abilities. NEVER EVER ALLOW this to happen, as you always must be your greatest cheerleader and doing so, forces the Universe to help and reward you beyond measure. Yes, it is awesome to have others, whether partners, special friends, etc, to also help keep your spirit uplifted, but it first starts with YOU.
Here is something that I have always lived by. You meet every single person, every day, for a reason, but it is up to you to figure out why. Are you teaching them or are they teaching you, or both? Ask yourself, why is the Universe preparing you with the knowledge that this new person is sharing with you and what am I supposed to do with it? Also, nothing guarantees how long someone we meet, is suppose to walk the same portion of our journey. It might be 5 minutes, 5 days, 5 weeks, 5 months, 5 years, etc, but we just don't know. The problem is that humanity has never been taught this, so they don't think about the consequences. Example: A couple whether married or not, doesn't matter. If, at some point, their paths are supposed to diverge to facilitate their personal journey and direction and they don't sit and discuss this, as adult spiritual based humans, then the longer each person isn't on there proper path, the worse the relationship becomes. Over and over, issues between them becomes worse and worse, until finally there is a giant eruption, which either gets physical or words are said that could never be taken back and spent eternity echoing throughout the Universe, until the end of time. If they would have parted ways as friends, back when their journeys took different course, they wouldn't have gone through all the terrible things and ended as mortal enemies. So, just some food for thought.
Thank you for your kind words and you have definitely been given the gift of writing and you should more than explore this, as your style is unique and more than sufficient to facilitate your success.
Big, big hugs,
Tom
@TomCatnDubai
My brain is lapping up what you just shared here... wise words indeed! In regards to your points made, I am so glad you are touching my life for the time you have so far. I can see there is a reason for it, and appreciaite that the universe has us walking the same portion of our journey, for now, and--especially with this reply of yours--I realize I am being taught by you. You supportive words of my writing is certainly encouraging me as well. Thank you! Hopefully you will figure out why the universe has me touching your life too. Isn't life wonderful really!
@sweetmamm, Mary, I am glad my writings resonate so strongly with you. I appreciate every person that walks any portion of my path, even those who aren't so kind, as the Universe has us there for a reason and I try to search out the full meaning. I am not always successful, but always appreciative, nonetheless. Sometimes the lessons are even simpler than the obvious, as it might be teaching observation skills, love, empathy, compassion, peace, joy, appreciation and the list goes on and on. Again it might be just lending an ear or two, as there is a reason we have two of them and only one month. LOL
Every personal inaction, I try to follow how I am lead and share what I feel that I am being directed. Yet, I try not to be staunch and business like, but free flowing with both the things I feel compelled to share and my overall feels, at a particular moment in time.
I always strive to be both, supportive and encouraging, as we all need more of that in our lives, from everyone and especially those in our inner circle, as they are the closest to our hearts.
Our paths are concurrent for a multitude of reasons, and all will be revealed over time. We started out just appreciating the others writing and sharing deeper thoughts and feelings, which pulled us even closer. Yes, I may be teaching, to some degree, but in order to do so, you have made me stop, think, and evaluate, everything that I have shared. Thus making me connect on a deeper level, not only to my spirit, but to you and yours.
I marvel every day at the wonderment of life and all it holds for us to enjoy, in whatever manner we choose to do so.
Enjoy your day and be safe.
XOXO
Tom
@TomCatnDubai
I'm seeing that I did not respond to this wonderfully honest, beautifully expressed post of yours...we started such a rapid sharing of opinions & desires--that I read, but responded to your other post instead. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
@sweetmamm
No worries, as you said, we are sharing so much via so many different posts and responses, which is fine, as it shows our thirst and hunger. You're very welcome sweetie. 🫂🫂🫂
My thought on this is hey it’s your life. Why should people judge you on the volume of partners you had or didn’t have . I myself like the idea of an experienced partner and it can lead to some spicier adventures . If you cannot accept your partners life, then why are you with them to begin with? ❤️👿🔥🥰
Nicely said! Thank you!
@sweetmamm thank you for the topic !!
@Timmakesucum66
Your quite welcome...and thanks for responding!