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52 comments
So much to learn about women. I feel bad for all the crap you go through and how guys shrug it off and think, better you than me.
Well...guys have to worry about getting it up, whereas most of us can somewhat fake it as long as there's enough lube. But yeah...the hot flashes and mood swings aren't fun.
@smartasswoman The thing with guys is they let their feelings get in the way of dealing with that issue. My dad suffered from it as he got older. Never sought help. Seeing an Urologist could have helped him.
It seems women have to deal with more than guys do and that comes across as unfair to me. Just sayin.
I love your amusing thought!
I lost my husband before menopause hit so I can't comment on the possibility of menopause ending marriages. However, Menopause and Puberty hit my house at the same time ... my daughter and I did not divorce!
That sounds like a potentially explosive situation! Congrats on navigating your way through it.
It is nature’s joke on us. We are prepared to give birth when young but then it ends along with the desire. Men never lose that desire yet women can. Such a shame I think. I feel bad for the men. Maybe the old ways worked when men had the side chick, women knew it and dealt with it. Today, not many women accept it. I will never live with a man. I am content living alone. Maybe I should be the side chick 💁🏻♀️ Don’t you love karma?
I think there are ways around it. My libido is way down but I still want that comfort and connection - so I engage even if I might not really be in the mood. And then once I get going, I get more interested. A book I read recently distinguishes between spontaneous desire and responsive desire. Our society has made us feel that desire has to be spontaneous and come out of nowhere, when in reality it's perfectly fine to need a little warmup.
The R place?? Not sure what that is. I love your amusing thought! Kind of a silent revenge moment. I'm Gen X and I didn't worry about "the change". I haven't had a visit from aunt flow in over a decade and I didn't experience any of the common symptoms that I can recall. I've always had trouble sleeping and didn't know that was a symptom. My brain just won't quiet so it keeps me up. Especially in my college years and when I was running my business. I don't think I slept for 20 years! Hahaha. I sleep reasonably well now but its never ever 8 hours straight. As to libido...well lets just say the volume got turned wayyyyy up when I hit about 40. Coincidentally, that seems to be about the time my period stopped. It seems my experience was quite opposite of many women's experiences. I was a bit concerned so I went to several docs that all gave me a good bill of health so I'm counting my lucky stars. Some of the stories I've heard are horrifying.
I guess they don't like it when other sites are named. I tried to tell you but it didn't work. : / It's not crucial to the story anyway, it's a place where there are user forums on every topic under the sun.
Sounds like you had a fairly easy go of it! I'm happy for you.
@smartasswoman Oh, I'm guessing that you're talking about the R place that ends with "it". I've never really got going with it. Every time I open it, my feed is full of stuff I couldn't care less about and I don't know how to fix it but I digress.
Yes, I did and I hope that didn't come across as a flex. I empathize with women that have had a rough time. A good GF of mine will be just sitting having a normal conversation and sweat will suddenly start pouring off her like she just got out of the shower. Another will go from Miss Julie to Sybil in a nanosecond. The other day she FLIPPED and I mean FLIPPED because the TV program that we all watch had changed time slots. You'd think the world was ending. It missed me thank God but I'm still suffering...I don't recognize my friends anymore! Hahaha.
@KittensnOrgasms nope it didn't come across as a flex and I was sincere in saying I'm happy for you! What a nightmare it would be if EVERY woman had a terrible time of it. And I do think the older women on this site...a lot of them tend to be the ones who didn't lose their libido, right?
Just like the women in the R group probably skew toward the ones that are having big issues...you don't tend to check out a forum like that unless you yourself are having a rough time.
I think with the advent n anonymity of the world wide web, that people are open to talking about everything. Before they suffered in silence ( sigh ).
As they say.....we live , experience and learn.
Twenty years together eh.....maybe he has learned ~~
I agree that ironically, people are way more open with anonymous strangers on the internet!
Hopefully third time was a charm for him (he was in the midst of divorce when I met him).
Your (indirect) revenge time has come?
Maybe. Who knows, she might be breezing through the whole process just fine. Also, I can hardly be TOO judgmental of him at this point since I'm hanging out with a guy 12 years younger than me.
I'm going to work the word "disobliging" into a conversation sometime soon.... thanks for that meme! I can't speak to menopause, it's lurking somewhere around the corner for me, but hasn't pounced yet.
I had to go to your profile and check your age - you're really hanging in there! 52 was the banner year for me.
I hope she is giving the ex Hell! LOL
I'm surely premenopause and mean as heck, LOL. Maybe I should seek some meds. Not that I have time to go to the doc
Hugs!!!
I seriously doubt that you're mean as heck. But, for what it's worth I'm reading a lot of testimonials about how hormone replacement therapy is a game changer for women. I did a post a while back about the fact that the old research that was causing doctors to avoid recommending it, has actually been determined to be wrong.
Your discretion is admirable. 😊 Yes, it's a normal part of life (even though challenging).
It would be a good idea if all of us were taught about the Menopause.
There sure was a lot that I didn't know before my "change of life".
Thanks for sharing. Not thoughts or things us men consider much
True…I’m guessing when a guy trades in his partner for a new model, he’s not really thinking ahead twenty years to when the new woman will be going through the change. 😊
I'm male and must take hormone replacement. Sadly I'll be without testosterone for a few months. It is very similar symptoms. All to say that I can relate.
Having the right hormone levels is so important!
@smartasswoman yep, but I'm fucked from all directions and never in a good way🤣