This is my last profile I will post. Some of this repeats. If you've read it before you can skim through it because I've added things and you will know the new additions when you see them.
I get the results of my test on the 8th. Find your happiness. We never know when it is our time; so make every moment count.
I bought time. How much? Who knows. On January 5th, I finished my 6th round of chemo and immunotherapy started a week later. I'm waiting for the final CT's to be done on February 7th. Too much time with my thoughts and the side effects of the immunotherapy.
Where do I go from here? I think its time to run with the ponies. Here's the deal, I'm looking for a lover. I'm not looking to be in love. I don't need a lot of bullshit at this point in my life because I may have bought time but that's not going to last forever. I will relapse. There is no cure. Not a moment to waste. Nor do I intend to waste a moment. So, that's about me and what's going on. The hair is growing back as I write this. It seems to be growing like a weed.
Now, for the time that I will be here, in Florida, waiting for my home to sell. After all, you can't run with the ponies if you're tied down. Yes, I'm on here because I'm looking for the same thing I've always been looking for, a lover. However, I think our definitions may differ. To me taking a lover is developing a relationship that is primarily sexually based, but it is more than friends with benefits. You're more than a friend. When you take a lover, its more on a boyfriend girlfriend outward appearing relationship. You don't want it to go further.
It's a relationship. You know you're going to be getting what you need and you have someone to spend time with doing things you enjoy. It's an agreement that you're going to fulfill whatever needs you both have.
Yes, there comes a time when there has to be prioritizing, but it doesn't mean that it is the main priority in your life. It's along the lines where you're giving your word, this is what you want, this is what you're going to do, this is how you're going to accomplish it, this is when you're going to do it and the rest will fall into place because you're adults. You can talk about it and not take offense and be okay with something that you have to compromise on or change. You understand it's always give and take because it's people that want to give what someone needs so that they can get what they need. Quid pro quo. A win-win situation.
It's an agreement, nothing written, just thoroughly discussed and agreed to for as long as it works. If it isn't working, you move on. You're not looking for love or forever. The best approach is complete honesty, otherwise there's too many variables to repeatedly discuss.
What's the worst that happens? It doesn't start. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You won't know until you try. It beats doing yourself all the time, in my opinion. In my book it's a person that you have great sex with, because you don't have to hide anything. You have a commonality that makes things easy. You genuinely enjoy spending time with them and sexually you like the same things. When there's openness, there's room for a lot of exploration and only wanting what's good for each other. At least, that's been my experience.
Here's my endpoints. The first is when my house sells. The second is when the cancer comes back.
*MY IDEAL LOVER WILL BE
AGE: Must be at least 50 years old, maybe 55 is closer to it. It is about a connection and a commonality.
AVAILABILITY: Between 7 p.m. and 11 p.m., with some wiggle room an hour before or after. I'm not discounting later than that. Currently, my schedule is in flux. other than mornings my availability is open on and off throughout the week.
FREQUENCY:.Nightly if possible; but minimally three times a week during the work week, M-F initially and once on Saturday or Sunday After the initial phase, the weekends will continue. The weekdays are up for renegotiation at that time. My need will not be so great and the frequency will lessen. It usually only lasts a couple of weeks. I'd like to remind you that I am hypersexual which is a form of nymphomania and a compulsive disorder. I have not opened this door in over a year.
LOCATION: Unfortunately, you must be able to drive to me because I have no depth perception and can't drive. You must be able to make it to me as the frequency dictates especially in the initial phase. You should live somewhat locally.
Do your homework. See how long it will take you to get from where you are at to where I am at. Add it on to your day and make sure you're able to do it with the frequency that's expected in the beginning because after the first couple of weeks it levels off and it should be easy to do then.
During the initial phase, I'm not against you spending the night. My house has several other bedrooms and there's no need to put anyone out with having to get used to sleeping next to someone unless that is what you want. In the morning, if there's time, we can do it again and then you can go home that night and sleep in your own bed. I will send you off with a hot breakfast and a hot cup of joe if that's what you like. I'm very accommodating that way.
HEIGHT: I like to wear heels. I am also a BBW. A taller man makes me feel small and delicate and feminine. It's not a deal breaker. I just like it. However, I will say there's something also about a smaller man someone my height or a little bit under is comfortable. So height is not an issue. It doesn't bother me, don't let it bother you.
ENDOWMENT: Minimum maybe 6 maybe 7 inches, which now might be a maybe. I know 7 works. We'll just have to see how it goes.
OTHER: Excellent Stamina, in good physical condition. D and D free. Likes adventure. Enjoys conversation and music. It will not be have sex and leave. If I wanted that I wouldn't have done this.
Who wants to dance naked in the moonlight as it warms up again?
My clock is ticking and I am coming to an end on here and in life. I am no longer able to compromise. Which leaves me at the mercy of men who don't understand that after the initial phase the keys to the kingdom can be theirs. This is a sex seeking site. I understand that. I wouldn't be here if I wasn't seeking sex, but I also want more. I don't want to walk through the rest of my life alone without sex and companionship. Would you?
Unfortunately, I'm old school and it takes me a bit to develop a comfort level. I have to know you before I can be intimate with you; which takes time and trust. Unfortunately for the men, less then honorable men have proceeded you. They tried to ignore what I need and put their agendas first. Usually telling me whatever they thought I wanted to hear, but their true intentions were only for a one-time thing. Imagine their surprise when they didn't even make it to first base. They were shut down before anything ever evolved.
I receive emails every day asking me who do I expect to be able to do all this? I tell them, I expect it to be someone that wants to do all that I have stated. I don't want anyone that doesn't want what I am looking for.
The brutal honesty is this is not forever. It is a brief moment in time, as my time is short. Most likely less than 6 months. Only 30% make it beyond that to about a year. Max could be 2 years. More than that it's less than 1% that have made it to 10 years, but no further. I keep saying I don't have an expiration date stamped on my foot, but I do feel the weight of my end looming and I don't intend to spend it sitting waiting to die. I want to live life to it's fullest for as long as I have it.
In a way it's a blessing to know that your time is limited. It gives you a whole new perspective on what is important and this is very important to me. The downfall of it is, no one else really understands the pressure you feel. It's like seeing that freight train and nowhere to go to get out of its path but it all moves in slow motion.
I haven't put this here as a challenge. If I don't feel comfortable, it doesn't progress. I will tell you before you're invited to my home, I will know your first and last name. You will know all of that and my address when you are invited, so be prepared to show your ID. Quid pro quo, baby, After all, there's no sense even trying if you're not going to give it your all.
Thank you all that have made it to the end. Now; hopefully, in this last week, I will find someone who wants to walk the final mile until my end is approaching. There will be no one there at the end. That is my final wish.
l 💋
One percent is still better than zero. 💕👍
I hope you find who you're looking for.