Adventures of a WallyWorld Meat Womyn
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Posted:Jul 11, 2008 10:26 am
Last Updated:Jul 12, 2008 8:05 am 1660 Views
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"Where's the Meat Man!" a lady customer demanded.
"I'm the Meat Woman, What can I help you with?" I asked her.
"Well! Ah don't think a woman's place is in the Meat Market. Ah will just have to wait until the Meat MAN gets back," she responded and walked away.
Since she's a customer, I have to be nice regardless. In my not so humble opinion a woman's place is where ever - she wants to be. The meat market is not a bad place to be. It's like going to the gym and getting paid for it despite the fact that the pay sucks swampwater. Does a job ever pay enough and what is enough?
Afterwards, a Gentleman customer asked me where the Brown Sugar Bacon is. "Let me go check in the back room." I came out carrying an entire box of Brown Sugar Bacon and advised him that there was enough Brown Sugar Bacon to add sweetness to his life.
"Right On! Baby!" he replied as he grabbed a couple packages out of the box. Usually the Customers call me Ma'am. In Nevada they called me Honey.
As I was stocking the Brown Sugar Bacon, the lady customer took one for herself. "Where can Ah find the Quaker Motor Oil," she asked. I pointed out where the Automotive Section was. "You might have to ask the Automotive Woman exactly where." I advised her with a wink. 
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Star Almost Arrested For Being A Car Thief
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Posted:Jul 10, 2008 12:38 pm
Last Updated:Jul 11, 2008 8:55 am 1624 Views
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This Morning I walked out of my apartment with keys in hand and plans to drive to the Virginia Department of Motor Vehicle. I was shocked to discover that my car was not in it's usually place.
"Oh My God, Did the Police tow my car away or did somebody steal it?" I thought to myself as I called the Police on my cellphone.
The Officer showed up a few minutes later. "Nope, we didn't tow it away," the officer advised me. "Heck, I was planning to buy a new car but not right now," I commented anticipating going to work at 4 in the morning on a bicycle.
1992 Dodge Dynasty - White with West Virginia Tags - the Officer took my report and said that they would contact me by noon.
I called my ex on the cellphone and told him - you wouldn't believe what just happen. I was walking to the Library and telling him the story on the cell phone. Gee Why would anyone want to Steal THAT car!
Lo and Behold - My car was parked in the Library Parking Lot. Usually, I leave my car at home and walk to the Library. Apparently, I drove to the Library and walked home. That 3am work day shift must have left me in Ding Ding Land.
I called the Police apologizing and reported the car un-stolen.
I drove to the Department of Motor Vehicles and exchanged my West Virginia License for a Virginia License. Yippee! It's good for eight years unless I move to another State which is likely to happen in the far future.
As I was driving away from the DMV - Police Lights were flashing behind. There were two police cars behind me. I opened the door and presented the officer with my West Virginia Registration, Proof of Insurance and Newly Acquired Virginia Driver's License.
Ma'am, Please step out of the car, one of the officers instructed me. I was advised that the car was reported stolen. I told the officer that I reported the car unstolen. "The Owner of the Car has a West Virginia License." "You know there some validity about those West Virginian Jokes," I told him. and Please................don't pull a gun on me. I have a major league phobia of guns.
One of the other officers was chuckling as he informed the potential arresting officer that the car did indeed belong to me. What a Relief.
I told him that car would officially become a Virginia Car when I got the Registration which is currently in a Safety Deposit Box in West Virginia.
Welcome to Virginia Ma am, the Officer said as he smiled and headed back to his patrol car.
On a Happier Note - My Virginia Driver's License is much more flattering than my previous West Virginia License.
  
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Early Mornings, Doctor Appointments and Planetary Retrogrades.
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Posted:Jul 9, 2008 12:40 pm
Last Updated:Jul 10, 2008 1:55 pm 1530 Views
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Last Week, I arranged with my supervisor to come into work early so that I can keep a Doctor's Appointment that it took a month to get.
Thus I came in at 3 am instead of 4 am. I come in a 4 am two days to cover another woman's off time. So I arrived and found two carts full of freight. Short after I had the first cart of merchandise stocked, the woman came beebopping into work. It turns out that the Supervisor scheduled us BOTH at the same time.
Dang, I could have slept in. Oh Well, Life on Life's Terms. So............. I started unloading two pallets full of Hamburger, Chicken, Pork, Ad Infintum. My boss usually does this. The Lucky Duck comes in at 7 am. He gets to sleep in.
By the time my boss got to work, the Pallets were worked. The Products stocked and the Hamburger and Chicken out on the floor for the customers to buy.
Dang, he comments, "What an easy day this is going to be." He requested that I get the beef and pork out on the floor. As I was leaving, I noticed that my boss was on the computer.
Gee, I wonder if WallyWorld allows the bosses to have assess to Horny Dot Com.
I made it to the Medical Appointment with time to spare. I may have carpol tunnel. Happy Happy Joy Joy. There are much worse affictions to have. A shot of cortisone fixed a pain in my hip that have been there for a year.
It is so much fun getting weighted at the doctor's. Last year, I lost 30 pounds, gained back ten, lost the ten again and now I am at a Plateau. The scale hasn't budge for two weeks.
I mentioned this to the Nurse. She asked, "Are you working out?" I work at WallyWorld. I am always moving and lifting. It's like going to the gym and getting paid for it" "Good, when the weight finally does come off it will stay off."
Oh Well, so I keep on keeping on. After years of being in a braindead marriage and getting my heart broken by the Texas Trucker, I feel like I am FINALLY getting my life back
Cry A River, Build A Bridge, Get Over It
  
I still wished I would have kicked that Trucker's A$$ before starting over that bridge so instead I pray for the WILLINGNESS to pray for him instead. 
Life on Life's Terms
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WallyWorld, Early Shifts and Healthy Stuff Versus Junk Food
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Posted:Jun 24, 2008 4:46 pm
Last Updated:May 10, 2024 9:54 am 1584 Views
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This week I have been working from 4am to 1pm thus my Lunch Break is from 9 to 10 am. This week, my lunch fit in a zip lock bag. A hard boiled egg, a can of v8 juice and a container of Yogurt.
This Morning, I forgot my lunch so decided..... It's a Good Day for a Fast thus I spent my Lunch Hour observing what other folks eat.
My boss always eats Little Debbie Cakes but Morning he dined on Smores with his coffee.
A married couple brought separate lunches and set across at each other - gazing romantically at each other. She had Root Beer and Corn Chips. He had Coke and Barbecued Potato Chips. She took at a bag of cookies from her lunch bag and started munching on them. He had Chocolate Chip Cookies.
Next a pair of women shared a lunch. They divided up a Blueberry Muffin and a PayDay Candy Bar. They shared a bag of Fried Pig Skins.
My thought was Yuck Beech - If I ate stuff like that................. I don't eat Chips or drink Sodas (not even diet ones. Fried Pig Skins are definitely off the Menu.
Oh Course, Last Week during the Heat Wave, I decided to have a pint of Ben and Jerry's Half Baked Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream. Everyone was commenting on how I had the right idea due to the heat but actually......................
I Like Ice Cream hence
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How To Make A Sushi Chef Lose It (C&P)
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Posted:Jun 24, 2008 4:07 pm
Last Updated:Jun 26, 2008 1:55 pm 1526 Views
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“Hold the onions and slap some gravy on the fries willya?”
Send back every piece of Nigiri and yell, “Don’t you people know what medium-well means?”
Ask for ketchup.
“I’ve don’t know what’s in sushi, but it sure is good! Just glad there’s no seafood in it cause I’m deathly allergic to fish.”
Tell the chef his sushi was, “Not as good as the refrigerated sushi at Costco.”
“Waaassssssaaaaaaaabbbbiiiiiiii!”
“What is this sh.....? It looks like raw fish and rice.”
“My goldfish died today. Can we eat him?”
“I’ll take a breast and thigh meal.”
“Are the Godzilla rolls really made from Godzilla?”
Yell that you HAVE FOUND NEMO!
Start doing the JAWS theme!
Tell the Chef that you LOVED HIM IN THE KARATE !
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Step 11 & Heck, Darn, Blast and Other Words to That Effect!!!!!!
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Posted:Jun 19, 2008 4:15 pm
Last Updated:Jun 20, 2008 1:14 pm 1431 Views
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Step 11
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out
quoted from the AA BIG BOOK
Nevertheless..............
Heck, Darn, Blast and Other Words to That Effect!!!!!!
The Apartment Building that I was trying to Buy was SOLD to SOMEBODY ELSE!!!!!!
Oh Well! Life on Life's Terms...... If it was meant to be - It would have fallen into place.
Is it really God's Will for me to own a City Apartment Building when my soul yearns for the country but Dang.........
My Heart was smashed to Smithereens, I cried a River, Build a Bridge and Got Over It Somewhat.............
That Bridge went from Texas to BumFiretrUCK, Nevada to Arkansas back to West Forgotten by Santa Virginity and finally to the Commonwealth of Virgina where I currently
reside.
 and I think to myself "What A Wonderful World"
My major regret is not having the opportunity to kick that Texas Truckers A$$ before starting over that bridge. I will have to trust Karma to do it.
When Guys get too close to me, My Inclination is to Run like the Wind. Maybe one of these days I will finally get over that bridge.
Life on Life's Terms
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The Dubious Joy of Modern Technology and Customer Service
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Posted:Jun 18, 2008 10:30 am
Last Updated:Jun 18, 2008 12:24 pm 1424 Views
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It's soooooooooooooo Annoying 
Earlier this Morning, I telephoned Dominion Power to strighten the billing situation. I moved from an effiency to a one bedroom apartment next door. After pushing a bunch of numbers, I finally got a live person who put me on hold with elevator music. I finally hung up.
Later on, I called a Equifax to get a copy of my Credit Report. (I am trying to buy the apartment building that I reside in) After pushing a bunch of buttons, I was given on on-line site which told me that I have to mail in the request via Snail Mail.
Technology has made Customer Service a joke. Cell Phone Companies usually get answered by a live person who barely speaks English.
If the company is dealing with English Speaking Customers why do they give their automated messages in Spanish first.
If I treated my WallyWorld Customers like this, I would be facing the WallyWorld Firing Squad.
C/P Joke per gOOgle Research
Hello! Thank you for calling.
If you are obsessive-compulsive press 1 repeatedly
If you are co-dependant, please ask someone else to press 2 for you
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 & 6
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, please stay on the line so we can trace your call and persecute you.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are a manic depressive, press whichever number you like, no-one will answer you.
If you are dyslexic, press 69696969696969696969696.
If you have amnesia, press 8, followed by your date of birth, your social security number, home phone number, the square root of 1,555,666,777,888 and your
tax code followed by the atomic number for Uranium.
If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have BI-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, for god's sake wait for the beep.
If you are suffering from short-term memory loss, please press 9.
If you are suffering from short-term memory loss, please press 9.
If you are suffering from short-term memory loss, please press 9.
If you are suffering from short-term memory loss, please press 9.
If you are suffering from short-term memory loss, please press 9.
If you have low self esteem, go away, no one can be bothered to talk to you anyway.
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WallyWorld, Heat Waves and Roaring Run, Virginia
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Posted:Jun 10, 2008 8:59 am
Last Updated:Jun 12, 2008 12:45 pm 1747 Views
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Last Week, I got left my Job at the Wally World Meat Market. I work in a Refrigerator, most of the time. As I left the building, it was HOT HOT HOT.............So when I made it home, Off went my Wally World Uniform so I didn't feel inclined to replace it with more clothes.
I was on the Phone with my Scorpio Gentleman Friend. He had decided that we are NOT a Love Connection because he said there was no chemistry and that I am not religious enough for him. Personally, I don't think I can compete with his dead wife. Nevertheless, we remained friends.
I mentioned being in my Apartment naked. He suddenly asked, "Would you mind if I come over! You've got my mind going now" I replied, "I didn't think you would want to see me naked, After ALL you said there was no chemistry. Nevertheless, Thanks but no Thanks. I'll not be entertaining any Gentlemen in this little shoe box that I live in."
The Next Morning was a Day off, so I spent the Morning reading Romances. I get a phone call. Surprise, Surprise - It's the Scorpio. "I am still Naked," I told him. He asked if I wanted to accompany him for a drive to the Forest. "Dang, Most Guys try to get me out of my Clothes. You are making me get in to my clothes."
So I put on my clothes and we went to the Forest. The Roaring Runs Hiking Trails. A relatively easy hike with awesome water falls and a Historical Furnace built in 1838.
No Love Connection but Hiking Trails are better than reading romances alone in my apartment with no clothes on.
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WallyWorld, Politics and Dinosaurs
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Posted:Jun 5, 2008 4:51 pm
Last Updated:Jun 9, 2008 7:06 am 1502 Views
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Earlier this week, one of the local customers whom I silently call Archie Bunker came into WallyWorld and asked "Who are you working with...........Obama (meaning my black co-worker).
"Oh You must mean our future President," I replied.
American is NOT ready for a Black President. "The Country is going to Hades because of Yankee Liberals like you who vote for spooks like Obama," he rants.
I advised him, "Actually........ my vote went to Hillary but she's not going to win." He walks away muttering about them darn California Liberals. He still insists that California is a Yankee Northern State.
He walks up to my Black co-worker, points at him and says, "I'm watching you Boy."
Later on, I talk to the Black Co-Worker called Obama by Mr. Bunker. What's with that guy, is he a wizard under the sheets. "Naw, he's not a racist, he's just plain crazy."
The next morning, another co-workers is ranting about Obama winning the Primary. "America is NOT ready for a Black President." In humer, I suggested that perhaps Obama should consider Jeremiah Wright as a running mate.
Dang, was America ready for the end of Jim Crow Laws? America might want to consider getting ready for a Black President.
Actually the Local customer, Mr. Bunker is a White Dinosaur and Jeremiah Wright is a Black Dinosaur.
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