Pay the man girls!!!!
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Posted:Oct 4, 2006 11:01 pm
Last Updated:Oct 12, 2006 10:08 pm 1975 Views
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Police hunt breast enlargement cheats
Wed Oct 4, 1:29 PM ET
A German plastic surgeon who was cheated out of payment by several women has given pictures of their enlarged breasts to police, in the hope the photos will help trace them.
"The women registered under fake names," Michael Koenig, a surgeon in Cologne, told Bild newspaper. "After the operations, which lasted about an hour, they just ran away."
"Tanja" went out for "fresh air" after 8,000-euro ($10,000) surgery to enlarge her breasts. "She never came back and never paid," Koenig said. He now plans to demand payment in advance.
Bild published a five-column picture of Tanja's naked breasts. "It's probably the most unusual wanted poster police ever had," the newspaper wrote.
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Difficulties of space "female" hygiene
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Posted:Oct 3, 2006 10:17 pm
Last Updated:Oct 7, 2006 7:46 pm 1631 Views
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First space blogger reveals difficulties of space hygiene
Mon Sep 25, 10:30 PM ET
The world's first female space tourist and first space blogger, American national Anousheh Ansari, told the world of the difficulties of keeping tidy in zero gravity.
"Well my friends, I must admit keeping good hygiene in space is not easy!" the Iranian-born woman wrote, saying she would reveal what "everyone wants to know" but is too modest to ask.
The 2,000 or so readers' comments that have appeared on Ansari's website (http://seniorfriendfinder.com) since she took off from the Russian Baikonur cosmodrome in Kazakhstan on September 18 have largely been expressions of admiration and encouragement.
"Water does not 'flow' here, it 'floats' -- which makes it a challenging act to clean yourself," Ansari said, explaining that astronauts bathe with wet and dry towels and swallow after brushing their teeth, which they refer to as "the fresh mint effect".
Ansari said she had been given the personal hygiene kit of Daisuke Enomoto, a would-be space tourist from Japan who was pulled from the flight because of health problems, leaving her with "a razor and lots of shaving cream, but no makeup".
Hair-washing in space brings its own difficulties.
"You basically take a water bag and slowly make a huge water bubble over your head and then very very gently, using a dry shampoo, you wash your hair," Ansari said. "At the slightest sudden movement, little water bubbles start floating everywhere."
Ansari promised to share videos of the process upon her return to Earth.
Since all water in the International Space Station (ISS) is recycled, wet objects are left to air dry so the station's water conduction unit can collect and purify the water -- including from sweaty workout clothes.
"One of the cosmonauts told me, 'We are all very close to each other, like brothers and sisters, it is very unique because we drink each other's sweat.' Now I know well what he means," Ansari said.
More poetic was Ansari's description of seeing the Earth shortly after the Russian Soyuz TMA-9 spacecraft blasted off to bring her to the ISS.
"Tears started rolling down my face. I could not catch my breath... Even thinking about it now still brings tears to my eyes.
"Here it was, this beautiful planet turning graciously about itself, under the warm rays of the Sun... so peaceful... so full of life... no signs of war, no signs of borders, no signs of trouble, just pure beauty."
Most of the comments on Ansari's blog have come from readers in the United States and Iran, but numerous other countries have been represented, and comments have been written in English, Farsi, Spanish, Swedish and French.
The blog by the world's fourth-ever space tourist started well before Ansari's takeoff. Earlier space tourists wrote e-mails to Earth but did not have a universally accessible online diary.
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Gee, just around the corner
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Posted:Oct 3, 2006 3:01 am
Last Updated:Oct 6, 2006 9:40 am 1688 Views
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11/23 Thanksgiving Day (USA) 51 days
12/25 Christmas 83 days
01/01 New Year's Day 90 days
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Gas?
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Posted:Oct 2, 2006 6:12 pm
Last Updated:Mar 3, 2008 7:59 pm 1668 Views
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A nun was walking in the convent when one of the priests noticed she was gaining a little weight. "Gaining a little weight are we sister Susan?" he asked.
"No, Father. Just a little gas," Sister Susan explained.
A month or so later the priest noticed that she had gained even more weight. "Gaining some weight are we Sister Susan?" he asked again.
"Oh no, Father. Just a little gas," she replied again.
A couple of months later the priest noticed Sister Susan pushing a baby carriage around the convent. He leaned over and looked in the carriage and said, "Cute little fart."
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live longer
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Posted:Oct 2, 2006 5:24 pm
Last Updated:Oct 2, 2006 5:26 pm 1409 Views
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A pious man, who had reached the age of 105, suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow's absence after so many years of faithful attendance, the rabbi went to see him. He found him in excellent health, so the rabbi asked; "How come after all these years we don't see you at services any more?"
The old man lowered his voice. "I'll tell you, Rabbi," he whispered. "When I got to be 90, I expected God to take me any day. But then I got to be 95, then 100, then 105, so I figured that God is very busy and must've forgotten about me, and I don't want to remind Him!"
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toby Keith....cowboy singer
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Posted:Oct 2, 2006 2:54 pm
Last Updated:Oct 2, 2006 6:19 pm 1568 Views
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I always heard that his herb was top shelf
Lord I just could not wait to find out for myself.
Well don't knock it till you've tried it.
And I've tried it my friend.
I'll never smoke weed with Willie again!
Now we learned a hard lesson in a small Texas town
He fired up a fat boy and he passed it around
The last words I spoke before they tucked me in
I may discount bungee jump but,
I'll never smoke weed with Willie again.
[Chorus:]
I'll never smoke weed with Willie again
My party's all over before it begins
You CAN pour me some old whiskey River my friend.
But I'll never smoke weed with Willie again
We hopped on his old bus the Honeysuckle Rose
The party was Huntsville, but it was after the show
Alone in the front lounge, just me and him
I took one friendly puff and the grim creeper set in
[Chorus]
Let's go down to Texas Scott
Now we're passin' the guitar, we're tellin' good jokes
I can tell one's a comin' 'cause I'm smellin' smoke
No I do not partake I just let it pass by
With a grin on my face and a great contact high
[Chorus]
In the fetal position with drool on our chin
We broke down and smoked weed with Willie again
Toby Keith
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My x mother in law
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Posted:Oct 1, 2006 1:58 pm
Last Updated:Oct 2, 2006 2:57 pm 1342 Views
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Who do you know that would do this?
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally, he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.
"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my who just died recently."
"I'm very sorry," replied the young man, "Is there anything I can do for you?"
"Yes," she said. "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Goodbye mother'? It would make me feel much better."
"Sure," answered the young man. As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye mother!"
As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50. "How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!"
"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk.
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Word of the day
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Posted:Oct 1, 2006 9:10 am
Last Updated:Oct 1, 2006 12:13 pm 1111 Views
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Vocabulary :: Word of the Day : Sanguine
san-guine
adj :: Cheerfully confident or optimistic.
"His sanguine temper ran contrary to her glass-is-half-empty philosophy."
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Not so!!!!
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Posted:Sep 30, 2006 9:34 pm
Last Updated:Oct 2, 2006 11:20 pm 1359 Views
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A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and
at the appropriate point in the process, she told him that he
would now need to enter a password.
Something he will use to log on.
The husband was in a rather humorous mood and figured he
would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's
attention.
So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made
It plainly obvious to his wife what he was keying in.
"P....E....N....I....S.."
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
**** PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH*****
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HAMILTON, New Zealand
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Posted:Sep 30, 2006 5:11 pm
Last Updated:Oct 1, 2006 9:30 am 1312 Views
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Pulchritudenous Strippers Upset Over Pilfered Panties
HAMILTON, New Zealand -- The girls at the Firecats strip club in Hamilton, New Zealand have a problem, Voyeurwebbers: Someone has pilfered their panties -- and a lot more.
Their underwear disappeared when the Firecats promotional van disappeared. The van was parked on a street in Hamilton about 2:30 a.m. when the driver got out of the vehicle to talk to two people who had asked him for a ride. As he did so, someone jumped in the van and drove off, eventually dumping the vehicle in a driveway in the suburb of Frankton.
The van was undamaged, but missing from the vehicle was a large sack containing about 50 items, including g-strings and some of the performers' costumes. Also missing is a giant inflatable penis Firecats used for promotions during a rugby tour.
The strip club's owner, Tony Garraway, admitted being puzzled as to what possible use the thief had for the missing items.
"I don't know what sort of person is running around with a sackful of panties and a large inflatable penis," he said.
The Firecats' strippers are upset at the theft, as many of the missing items had been imported from the U.S., said Garraway.
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