FUNNY
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Posted:Jan 4, 2013 9:09 pm
Last Updated:Jan 14, 2013 10:20 am 3012 Views
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"Doc, I think my has gonorrhea," a patient told his urologist on the phone. "The only woman he's screwed is our maid."
"Ok, don't be hard on him. He's just a ," the medic soothed. "Get him in here right away and I'll take care of him."
"But, Doc. I've been screwing the maid too and I've got the same symptoms he has."
"Then you come in with him and I'll fix you both up." Replied the doctor. "Well," the man admitted, " I think my wife
now has it too."
" of a bitch!" the physician roared. "That means we've all got it!"
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DONT YOU JUST LOVE LIBERAL HYPOCRITES???
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Posted:Jan 4, 2013 5:38 pm
Last Updated:Jan 14, 2013 10:25 am 3170 Views
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while he lives in his 10,000 sq. ft. home without any solar energy.
and to think Al Gore, who shared the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize for his fight against global warming, may gross about $70 million from the sale of his Current TV network to Al Jazeera, the cable channel funded in part by oil-rich Qatar.
Al Jazeera will pay about $500 million for Current TV, including the stake held by Gore, 64, according to two people with knowledge of the deal. The network is one of dozens of investments made by the former vice president since he lost the 2000 presidential race by a slim margin.
“It’s reeking with irony,” said Jeff Sonnenfeld, senior associate dean at the Yale School of Management, who studies corporate governance. “It seems to be at least a paradox in terms of his positions on sustainability and geopolitics.”
The deal highlights Gore’s makeover from career politician to successful businessman. His take from the Current TV sale is many times the maximum net worth of $1.7 million he reported while running for president in 1999. Besides investing in startups, Gore is on the board of Apple Inc., an adviser to Google Inc., according to his website biography, and a partner at Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers.
“The green of money knows no political boundaries,” “When you are running investments, your priority needs to be maximizing return.”
Gore’s holdings also include investments in Amazon.com Inc., EBay Inc. and Procter & Gamble Co. through his Generation Investment Management LLP.
2004 Purchase
Gore holds a 20 percent stake in Current TV, according to the people, who asked not to be named because the sale terms aren’t public. His proceeds are difficult to pin down because the company had $41.4 million in debt, as well as preferred stock entitled to $99.5 million in the event of a sale or liquidation, according to a 2008 regulatory filing.
The Current TV price represents a sevenfold increase from the $71 million Gore and his partners paid for the predecessor company in 2004, according to the filing. Gore, chairman, and Joel Hyatt, a co-founder and chief executive officer, announced the sale on Jan. 2, without providing financial terms.
“Many Americans are tired of borrowing huge amounts of money from China to buy huge amounts of oil from the Persian Gulf to make huge amounts of pollution that destroys the planet’s climate,” Gore said in September 2006 at the New York University School of Law. “Increasingly, Americans believe that we have to change every part of that pattern.”
Current Investors
The network’s investors included funds controlled by Los Angeles billionaire Ron Burkle and San Francisco money manager Richard Blum, according to the 2008 filing, when the company unsuccessfully sought to sell stock to the public. Blum is married to U.S. Senator Dianne Feinstein, a Democrat from San Francisco.
The Raine Group advised Current TV on the sale.
The owners introduced Current TV in 2005 after purchasing the network from Vivendi SA.
Al Jazeera is closely held and gets some funding from the government of Qatar, a small country on the eastern side of the Arabian Peninsula that gets almost half of its gross domestic product from oil and gas, data compiled by Bloomberg show.
“Under Qatari law, Al Jazeera Media Network is incorporated as a private, non-profit company,” Charlotte Fouch, a spokeswoman, said in an e-mail. “Al Jazeera receives funding from the State of Qatar, much like other publicly funded broadcast networks.”
Gore’s Fund
In February of last year, Gore said investors in oil and gas companies that ignore the cost of carbon dioxide emissions and other greenhouse gases are making a mistake similar to those who invested in subprime mortgages.
Most of Gore’s investments are made through Generation Investment Management, which he co-founded with former Goldman Sachs Group Inc. executive David Blood. The most recent regulatory filing lists about $3.6 billion under management in 29 publicly traded companies.
In addition, Generation Investment Management also has stakes in private ventures such as Nest Labs, a company formed by Apple Inc. (AAP alumni to create a thermostat that adapts to user behavior and saves money. The fund also backed Elon Musk’s SolarCity Corp. (SCTY), a developer of rooftop solar power systems that went public last month.
Venture Capital
In April, Gore’s fund was part of $110 million in venture capital invested in Harvest Power Inc., a closely held company that produces renewable energy from waste such as food scraps.
The former Democratic presidential nominee is also the author of the climate change focused best-sellers “Earth in the Balance,” “An Inconvenient Truth,” “The Assault on Reason” and “Our Choice: A Plan to Solve the Climate Crisis.”
Gore was the co-recipient, with the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, of the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize for “informing the world of the dangers posed by climate change,” according to his official biography.
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OLDIE BUT GOODY
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Posted:Sep 17, 2012 6:15 pm
Last Updated:Oct 30, 2012 2:04 pm 3468 Views
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The sheriff of a small town walked out into the street and saw a blond cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and boots.
The sheriff arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up, he asks, "Why in the world are you dressed like this?"
The cowboy says, "Well it's like this Sheriff... I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little redhead asked me to go out to her motor home with her... and I did. We went inside and she pulled off her top and asked me to pull off my shirt. so I did... Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants so I did...
Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts, so I did... Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of funny and says, 'Now go to town cowboy...'
So here I am."
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LISTEN UP MITT>> you need the brown vote! Clint Eastwood and Marco Rubio Are Not Enough
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Posted:Sep 4, 2012 4:04 pm
Last Updated:Sep 12, 2012 4:39 pm 3085 Views
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LISTEN UP MITT!!
article by Geraldo..
Having never attended a political convention, it didn’t take long before I wanted to be someplace other than Tampa. On Monday, the first day of the big Republican National Convention, I felt totally out of place.
“What are you doing here?” asked Tennessee congresswoman Marsha Blackburn. Minnesota’s Michelle Bachman was even more expressive. “Here you are wearing a tie, and I’m so used to seeing you outside facing the storm.”
Alas, that was the problem. Not the crowds of delegates and lobbyists, past, present and future office holders or the piles of press. Rather it was that I longed to be outside facing Isaac as the big, wet tropical storm lumbered toward New Orleans.
Having covered awful Katrina in 2005 and Gustav, the storm that interrupted the GOP convention the last time around in 2008, watching Isaac plod across the Caribbean and then aim at the just recovered Gulf Coast was surreal déjà vu.
As it turned out, the reporters on the scene in Louisiana and Mississippi did just fine without me. The big levees held, and while there was severe flooding, scattered evacuations and widespread power outages, Isaac had little of the killer punch of its predecessors.
Therefore relieved that being in Tampa instead of New Orleans did not represent a dereliction of duty, I started to enjoy the dynamic energy of the convention.
There were former presidential candidates Rick Santorum, Mike Huckabee, Rudy Giuliani, and Tim Pawlenty, plus a plethora of Congress-folk and pundits like Mary Matalin and on the phone high-profile rabble rousers like Sheriff Joe Arpaio. In this less formal setting, it was clear how many truly charming folks were on the Republican side of the aisle.
I grabbed New Mexico’s first ever Latina governor Susana Martinez and three of the five Romney sons for interviews. American Idol winner Taylor Hicks came by and played his harmonica. The Oak Ridge Boys sang ‘Amazing Grace’ and ‘Elvira.’
With no particular script and no partisan agenda, the shows were all free flow and my radio audience was treated to a series of stream of consciousness broadcasts that by the eve of Governor Romney’s big Thursday night acceptance speech had presented a fair sampling of what the GOP successfully pulled off in Tampa; presenting a portrait of Mitt Romney that was not sculpted by David Axelrod or Rahm Emanuel.
And wasn’t Clint Eastwood a trip?
Watching these earnest and committed people working so hard to portray their candidates Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan in a positive light to the American people, what I kept coming back to was the Republican Party’s fatal flaw.
How can so many smart, honest, sincerely patriotic Americans be so tone deaf to the desires, aspirations and preferences of the country they love so dearly?
Most Americans want women to have the reasonable right to have an abortion if the pregnancy is the result of or or to save the life or well-being of the mother. Most women cringe when they think that a bunch of cranky old men are going to prevent them from doing what they feel they need to do to save themselves.
And do we really care so much about the traditional definition of marriage that we would deny the right of homosexuals to do what every heterosexual American is free to do? With 3 out of 4 black and 2 out of 4 Latino youngsters living in families where the mom is single, isn’t America’s real problem that couples are not getting married?
And on immigration, the issue with which I am most familiar, do Republicans really believe that the way to advance Mitt Romney’s chances of winning the White House is to make the lives of the 11 or 12 million undocumented immigrants so miserable that they will self-deport?
Clearly, abortion, gay marriage and immigration are the sort of red meat issues that appeal to the Republican base. But Governor Romney already has the red-meat vote. To win the White House he needs to broaden his appeal to win those independent voters who have not yet committed.
So ask yourselves a few questions.
Is scaring those independents about their right to determine their own physical destiny if they get pregnant by or or at a time when their very health might be imperiled a good way to win their allegiance?
Does anyone not understand why there is a gender gap?
If the undecided voters are gay, is telling them that you intend to amend the Constitution to insure they have no right to access marriage like their straight friends and neighbors a good idea?
Can a gay person who does not self-hate vote for the GOP?
Or, if they are an undecided Latino voter, is telling them that you require the cop on the corner to ask them and their for their papers, if that cop in his own mind thinks they may be here illegally, a good way to win support for Mitt Romney?
Do the geniuses in the GOP really think that putting Latinos on stage in Tampa, even the hugely attractive senator Marco Rubio who delivered a barn-burning introduction to Mitt Romney will seal the deal with the ethnic group destined to decide the election in Nevada, New Mexico, Florida and Colorado without policy to back up the symbolism?
Does any clear thinking politician in this country not understand why Mitt Romney is polling fewer than 30% of the Latino vote, less than John McCain’s disastrous 31% and far behind George W. Bush who gained 44% in 2004?
“You can’t just trot out a brown face or a Spanish surname and expect people to vote for your party or your candidate,” said Democratic Los Angeles mayor Antonio Villaraigosa at a provocative press conference in Tampa on Tuesday.
Duh.
How can Republicans who pride themselves on their competence, their love of personal freedom and their common sense be so proud and so dumb?
Mitt Romney is a good guy who could be a great president, but he’s got to reach out to all Americans, not just those who are white, male and straight.
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FRIDAY FUNNY - Have a fun weekend y'all
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Posted:Aug 17, 2012 2:25 pm
Last Updated:Sep 17, 2012 6:13 pm 3230 Views
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This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So, she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a heavy parka and a leather jacket at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing and she replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb, and she wanted to do it, by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket.
She replied that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said . . .
You'll love this .
Yep... I know you will . .
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"FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS"[/B]
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This is too funny to be dirty - enjoy :o)
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Posted:Jul 24, 2012 6:58 pm
Last Updated:Jan 4, 2013 4:38 pm 3826 Views
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The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'
Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.'
OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'
Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know..
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,
'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.
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SENIOR MATH
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Posted:Jul 11, 2012 5:15 pm
Last Updated:Jul 24, 2012 6:55 pm 3704 Views
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You gotta give this one a try...unbelievably accurate!...
MATH QUIZ: Reveals your favorite movie!!
I am very good at math, so I did it in my head, then on paper,
and finally
on a calculator just to confirm my numerical capabilities.
Each time I got the same answer, and sure enough it IS my very
favorite
movie EVER!
DO NOT cheat and scroll down to the movies. Do YOUR math, THEN
compare the
results to the list of movies at the bottom
You will be AMAZED at how scary true and accurate this test is
1. Pick a number from 1-9.
2. Multiply that number by 3.
3. Add 3.
4. Multiply by 3 again.
5. Your total will be a two digit number. Add the first and
second digits
together to find your favorite movie (of all time) in the list
of 17 movies
below:
Movie List:
1. Gone With the Wind
2. E.T.
3. Blazing Saddles
4. Star Wars
5. Forrest Gump
6. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
7. Jaws
8. Grease
9. The Obama Farewell Speech of 2012
10. Casablanca
11. Jurassic Park
12. Shrek
13. Pirates of the Caribbean
14. Titanic
15. Raiders of the Lost Ark
16. Home Alone
17. Mrs. Doubtfire
Now, isn't that something?
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joke
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Posted:Jun 27, 2012 7:30 pm
Last Updated:Jul 11, 2012 5:13 pm 3569 Views
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A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes..
The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions."
He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What’s your occupation?"
"I'm a ," she says.
The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, " Let's try to rephrase that."
The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end ".
"No, that still won't work. Try again."
They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm an elite chicken farmer."
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Three Hillbillies
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Posted:Jun 22, 2012 3:04 pm
Last Updated:Jul 11, 2012 5:16 pm 3733 Views
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are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze.
1st Hillbilly: "My wife sure is stupid!...she jest bought an air conditioner."
2nd Hillbilly: "Why is that stupid?" 1st Hillbilly: "We ain't got no 'lectricity!"
2nd Hillbilly: "That's nothin'! My wife is so stupid, she bought one of them new fangled warshin' machines!"
1st Hillbilly: "Why is that stupid?" 2nd Hillbilly: "'Cause we ain't got no plummin'!"
3rd Hillbilly : "That ain't nuthin'! My wife is dumber than both yer wifes put together!...I was going through her purse the other day lookin' fer some change, and I found 6 condoms in thar."
1st and 2nd Hillbillies: "Well, what's so dumb about that?"
3rd Hillbilly: "She ain't got no pecker."
 
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TWEET TWEET BORACK!
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Posted:Jun 5, 2012 8:21 pm
Last Updated:Jun 22, 2012 3:00 pm 3894 Views
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But for all the attention lavished on the Republican governor’s contest with Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett, the only flaw in the storyline was that unions were never the campaign’s focus.
NBC projected Walker the winner just 50 minutes after the polls closed, followed closely by Fox News and CNN.
Despite the media’s inherent and sometimes inane tendency to overanalyze special elections, the Wisconsin battle may well have implications for the presidential campaign.
For one thing, the exit polls provided a snapshot, with President Obama leading Mitt Romney 53 to 42 percent—with more voters saying Obama would do a better job of handling the economy. Of course, the electorate in November may differ in size and ideological makeup.
With more than $63 million pouring into the race, voters on both sides became more energized—and more polarized. This could move the needle in a state that has voted Democratic in every presidential election since 1984.
At the same time, it will be hard to hang Barrett’s loss around Obama’s neck, since his effort for the campaign was largely composed of a single tweet. The Obama brain trust decided not to risk a presidential appearance in Wisconsin. And given the lack of contribution limits in a recall, Walker was able to outspend the mayor by 10 to 1—which will hardly be the case in November.
Further muddying the waters is the fact that this is only the third recall of a governor in American history (the last being California’s Gray Davis in 2003). Some voters may have backed Walker on grounds that, with no allegations of corruption, it’s unfair to eject a sitting governor over policy differences. In fact, six in 10 of those questioned in early CBS exit polls said recalls should be reserved for official misconduct.
Still, Walker’s victory is an undeniable setback for organized labor, which spearheaded the campaign by helping to gather some of the more than 1 million signatures on recall petitions. And the June election was also a test of get-out-the-vote strength, with Barrett’s allies spending twice as much as the governor’s side to mobilize voters.
Walker infuriated the opposition when, months after taking office last year, he pushed through legislation that effectively ended collective-bargaining rights for most state workers, triggering massive street protests. Walker defended the move in the campaign’s final
debate, saying “we drew a line in the sand” and that public employees needed to pay more for their benefits.
Walker’s victory is an undeniable setback for organized labor, which spearheaded the campaign by helping to gather some of the more than 1 million signatures on recall petitions.
Barrett framed the issue as one of punishing political enemies, saying in the debate that Walker was trying to turn Wisconsin into the “Tea Party capital of this country.”
But in yet another affirmation that all politics is local, some of Barrett’s ads dealt with a criminal probe that could implicate Walker aides from his tenure as a county executive, while Walker’s ads highlighted flawed crime reports by the Milwaukee police.
With several cable-news anchors reporting from Milwaukee, such distinctions are likely to be lost in the torrent of punditry over the recall. 
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