a joke
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Posted:Oct 18, 2013 7:19 am
Last Updated:Oct 21, 2013 10:45 pm 2042 Views
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A couple goes to a movie and seated to their right is a man and his dog. The seemed well behaved enough so they didn't call an usher to complain. They watch the movie and notice that during the action scenes, the is on the edge of his seat, watching intently. During the the happy scenes, the wagged his tail happily. In the sad scenes, the would whimper. In the scary scenes, the hid under the seat. When the movie was over, the couple approached the owner. The wife said, "We are amazed at how much your enjoyed the movie."
The dog's owner replied, "It amazes me too, since he didn't like the book."
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advantages of aging
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Posted:Oct 14, 2013 10:20 am
Last Updated:Oct 15, 2013 10:51 am 1960 Views
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1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
 2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
 3. No one expects you to run... anywhere.
 4. People call at 8 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
 5 People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
 6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
 7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
 8. You can eat dinner at 4 PM.
 9. You can live without sex but not your glasses (or your meds!)
 10. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
 11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
 12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
 13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
 14. You sing along with elevator music.
 15. Your eyes won't get much worse.
 16. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
 17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
 18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
 19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
 20. You can't remember where you found this list.
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wasp spray can be used as a home defense weapon
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Posted:Sep 28, 2013 10:03 am
Last Updated:Sep 29, 2013 7:47 am 2248 Views
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Did you know this? I didn't.
Wasp Spray - A friend, who is a receptionist in a church in a high risk area, was concerned about someone coming into the office on Monday to rob them when they were counting the collection. She asked the local police department about using pepper spray and they recommended to her that she get a can of wasp spray instead.
The wasp spray, they told her, can shoot up to twenty feet away and is a lot more accurate, while with the pepper spray, they have to get too close to you and could overpower you. The wasp spray temporarily blinds an attacker until they get to the hospital for an antidote. She keeps a can on her desk in the office and it doesn't attract attention from people like a can of pepper spray would. She also keeps one nearby at home for home protection. Thought this was interesting and might be of use.
Wasp spray is inexpensive, easy to find, and more effective than mace or pepper spray. The cans typically shoot 20 to 30 feet, so if someone tries to break into your home, spray the culprit in the eyes. If you're looking for protection, then look to the spray. It will give you a chance to call the police or maybe get out; maybe even save a life.
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4
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real world news item: FriendFinder files for bankruptcy
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Posted:Sep 17, 2013 8:02 pm
Last Updated:Sep 19, 2013 8:56 am 2329 Views
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news item:
Folks, this includes SeniorFriendFinder!
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Penthouse publisher FriendFinder files for bankruptcy
By Tom Hals and Sakthi Prasad
September 17, 2013
Reuters
Maybe sex doesn't sell that well after all.
FriendFinder Networks Inc , publisher of Penthouse magazine and numerous adult-entertainment websites, filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy on Tuesday.
The company, which sought to combine social networking and sex, said it had struck a deal with note holders that will reduce its debt by $300 million if approved by the U.S. Bankruptcy Court in Delaware.
Under the plan, one group of noteholders will take ownership of the sex entertainment business, which traces its roots to the late Penthouse publisher Bob Guccione. As is typical in bankruptcy, shareholders will likely be left with nothing.
Control of the company would go to Andrew Conru and Lars Mapstead, two noteholders who sold various social networking websites to FriendFinder in 2007.
Through a network of thousands of websites, FriendFinder provides live video, chat rooms, and photo and video sharing. It also sought to tap the powers of social networking with websites such as adultfriendfinder.com, which promoted casual sex, and adultfriendfinder.com, which aimed for spiritual connections.
The company and its affiliates comprise a global network of more than 8,000 websites with 220 million members and 750,000 subscribers, according to court documents.
But while Facebook , LinkedIn and other social sites have boomed, FriendFinder's limped. Its revenue in the year ended June 30 totaled $293.70 million, down 10 percent from the previous year.
Hardest hit was the company's social networking websites, where revenue fell 17.6 percent, according to court filings. Some of that drop was offset by a 7.8 percent rise in live interactive video revenue.
Ezra Shashoua, the company's chief financial officer, blamed the lower revenue on a drop in membership and increased advertising costs for affiliates, according to court documents. Shashoua also said credit card companies had refused to process transactions for the company's Internet businesses. No reason was given.
FriendFinder has not turned in a net profit since at least 2008, according to Thomson Reuters data.
The company was formed by Marc Bell and Daniel Staton in 2003 when they acquired out of bankruptcy the publisher of Penthouse, Guccione's racier rival to Playboy. In 2007 the company bought Various Inc and its dating websites from Conru and Mapstead for $400 million.
A year later it filed with regulators to raise $460 million in an initial public offering, but when it finally completed the IPO in 2011, FriendFinder raised just $46 million.
In 2010 the company offered to buy rival Playboy Enterprises Inc for $210 million. The deal fell through.
FriendFinder said in U.S. Bankruptcy Court papers it plans to issue cash and new debt to holders of $234 million of first-lien notes. It also plans to cancel about $330 million in second-lien notes and issue new stock to those debtholders, who will own the company when it exits bankruptcy if the plan receives creditor and court approval.
FriendFinder said the plan was supported by 80 percent of its noteholders but has not yet been put to a creditor vote.
Bell and Staton, who resigned their executive positions with the company last year, each agreed to a $500,000 cash payment to end their consulting agreements with the company, according to court documents.
Earlier this year, Lodgenet Interactive, which provided adult films and video games to hotels and their guests, filed for bankruptcy, partly due to Internet competition.
The FriendFinder case is PMGI Holdings Inc, Case No. 13-12404, U.S. Bankruptcy Court, District of Delaware.
(Reporting by Sakthi Prasad in Bangalore; Editing by Mark Potter, Louise Heavens and John Wallace)
http://seniorfriendfinder.com
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Wit and Wisdom of Phillis Diller
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Posted:Sep 17, 2013 3:50 pm
Last Updated:Sep 19, 2013 10:56 am 2036 Views
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Cleaning your house while your are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
I want my to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Most threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.
Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
We spend the first twelve months of our 's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.
I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.
I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
My cooking is so bad my thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor .
My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from .
I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.
You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
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wouldn't it be great if...
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Posted:Aug 27, 2013 1:26 pm
Last Updated:Aug 29, 2013 12:15 pm 2206 Views
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Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes and come out wrinkle free, back to our original shape, three sizes smaller, and smelling April fresh?
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ammo getting scarce
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Posted:Aug 23, 2013 8:12 pm
Last Updated:Aug 25, 2013 4:33 pm 2042 Views
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Retirement gives me plenty of time for the target range, but it's hard to find ammunition nowadays.
This morning I lucked out: I was able to buy two boxes of ammo, which I placed on the front seat. Headed home but had to stop for gas. A gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling her car at the next pump.
She noticed the two boxes of ammo, leaned over into my passenger window, and said in a sexy voice, "I'm a big believer in barter, old fella. Would you be interested in trading sex for ammo?"
I thought about if for a bit, then asked her, "What kind of ammo 'ya got?"
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It only seems like yesterday
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Posted:Aug 18, 2013 2:18 pm
Last Updated:Aug 20, 2013 7:51 am 2060 Views
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It only seems like yesterday that mom could send me down to the grocery store with a dollar in my pocket, and I would return with:
a bag of potatoes
2 cartons of eggs
a gallon of milk
3 loaves of bread
an apple pie
4 heads of lettuce
and a large beef steak
Can't do that anymore, too many surveillance cameras...
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2
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A great job
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Posted:Jul 28, 2013 10:13 am
Last Updated:Jul 29, 2013 4:01 pm 1917 Views
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A guy came home to his wife and said, "Guess what? I've found a great job. Start at 10 a.m. and finish at 2 p.m., no overtime, no weekends, and it pays $600 a week!"
"That's a fantastic job!" his wife replied.
"Yeah, I thought so too," he agreed. "You start Monday."
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thoughts from getting older and perhaps wiser
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Posted:Jul 14, 2013 1:50 pm
Last Updated:Jul 17, 2013 12:37 pm 2130 Views
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As I was lying around pondering the problems of the world, I finally realized that at my age I don't really give a rat's ass anymore.
.. If walking is good for your health, a postman would be immortal.
.. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks only water, but is still fat.
.. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years. And you tell me to exercise ?
I don't think so.
.. Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,
the good fortune to remember the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.
.. I started out with nothing still have most of it.
.. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
.. I finally got my head together, but now my body is falling apart.
.. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
.. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
.. If all is not lost, then where the heck could it be ?
.. It is a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.
.. Some days, you're the top dog; some days you're the hydrant.
.. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a couple of them.
.. Accidents in the back seat cause .
.. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
.. The world beats a path to your door only when you're in the bathroom.
.. If God wanted me to touch my toes, He'd have put them on my knees.
.. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone else wants to play chess.
.. It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere.
.. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
.. I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder, 'what am I here after ?'.
.. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
.. Have I posted this message before ? Are you sure ?
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