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WellKnownAuthor 61M
posts
12/2/2018 9:42 am
Airline madness RUNS WILD -----(avoid near mealtimes)






NEVER FLY SINGLE OR UNITED

While aboard a Florida bound jet
Cruising along at some 35,,000 feet

I suddenly had to take myself a wicked dump
So I dashed franticly, leaving my third class seat

Much to my anger and dismay
The sign read OUT OF ORDER

This about the very same time
We flew over the Georgia border

With Mother Nature very unforgiving
In issuing people a second dam chance

My bowels let go, with a nasty flow
Good gracious, I had just chit my pants

It was that huge big mouthed lady
Taking up two full aisle seats herself

That yelled out loud and not freaken proud
For all the flight attendants to come and help

Totally outraged and rip chit, I began to loudly shout
It's running down my legs, please get a bedpan out!!!!

The pilot called traffic control in Atlanta
As 137 other passengers began to barf

From those six vendor cart hot burrito’s
I had wolfed down back in Central Park

I wish I could tell you all
That thing’s worked out great

But that is not really what happened at all
As Homeland Security, was waiting at the gate

Wearing gas masks under their riot helmets
We all were filmed by the channel 22's news

One might have thought I was a terrorist
Instead of having just an accident or two

Yes I was roughly water board targeted
Three wide hoses were indeed sprayed

And as all the crap flew
While I was black and blued

I will never forget that day

For I should have used Delta,
What was I thinking flying United ?

"I'm part Native American" I screamed,
And certainly "NOT FREAKIN AL-QAEDA
"


by Dan M Sept. 2009 yes a sense of humor is God's pressure cooker to keep the lid off of things.





WellKnownAuthor 61M
722 posts
12/2/2018 7:18 pm

here we go.