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Airline madness RUNS WILD -----(avoid near mealtimes) NEVER FLY SINGLE OR UNITED While aboard a Florida bound jet Cruising along at some 35,,000 feet I suddenly had to take myself a wicked dump So I dashed franticly, leaving my third class seat Much to my anger and dismay The sign read OUT OF ORDER This about the very same time We flew over the Georgia border With Mother Nature very unforgiving In issuing people a second dam chance My bowels let go, with a nasty flow Good gracious, I had just chit my pants It was that huge big mouthed lady Taking up two full aisle seats herself That yelled out loud and not freaken proud For all the flight attendants to come and help Totally outraged and rip chit, I began to loudly shout It's running down my legs, please get a bedpan out!!!! The pilot called traffic control in Atlanta As 137 other passengers began to barf From those six vendor cart hot burrito’s I had wolfed down back in Central Park I wish I could tell you all That thing’s worked out great But that is not really what happened at all As Homeland Security, was waiting at the gate Wearing gas masks under their riot helmets We all were filmed by the channel 22's news One might have thought I was a terrorist Instead of having just an accident or two Yes I was roughly water board targeted Three wide hoses were indeed sprayed And as all the crap flew While I was black and blued I will never forget that day For I should have used Delta, What was I thinking flying United ? "I'm part Native American" I screamed, And certainly "NOT FREAKIN AL-QAEDA" by Dan M Sept. 2009 yes a sense of humor is God's pressure cooker to keep the lid off of things. |
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here we go.
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