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Lunch and a Cigar with Dennis Monday, April 3, 2017: Today was a day off for Dennis. He called me to see if I was up for lunch which I was. We decided on Miller’s Alehouse where we could enjoy our lunch on the patio, followed by a cigar. It was the usual chitchat. We caught up on his adventures at work over the weekend. We talked about Brian, one of our alumni buddies who is now officially retired. We talked about our upcoming poker event. We talked a little politics, and we even played a bit of trivia. All this time a thunderstorm was raging around us. The weather on the patio turned a little chilly. At some point in the conversation Dennis talked about finding a more suitable sales job; one that matches his career background. He told me about a recent meeting with the sales people on the floor and management regarding the company’s loyalty program. Apparently, he became too passionate in his presentation, as only Dennis can do. He was subsequently counseled by one of the managers for being hostile and disagreeable. This is one of his personality traits. When he becomes excited about a subject, often times he is incapable of expressing himself dispassionately. He becomes frustrated, and his passion is misconstrued as belligerence. One has to know Dennis well to understand that this is the case. Nevertheless, it can be very irritating. As one of Dennis’s friends, I use these opportunities to bust his chops. So after Dennis explained the situation, I asked him a simple question. “Why do you care? You are not a manager, and your managers really don’t seem to care what you think anyway. So why do you care?” I then provided him with my clinical observation as a lay person practicing psychology without a license. That his underlying frustration is caused by a lack of control over the situation. As he really isn’t a traditional corporate type. I went on to say that he’s basically a frustrated entrepreneur misplaced in a retail environment. As with many people, Dennis is frustrated by his current situation but lacks the confidence, and, I suppose, the motivation to do anything to change the circumstances. He is trapped by his predispositions. Of course, he had to agree. Cour Jim Weber, President NEW CENTURY DYNAMICS EXECUTIVE SEARCH Author, "Fighting Alligators: Job Search Strategy For The New Normal" |
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I hope that your friend took your analysis to heart. Sounds like he needs to EXHALE and RE-EVALUATE. I think you're correct. Unfortunately many frustrated individuals like your friend often value that steady pay cheque over the uncertainty of striking out on their own. Of course he may feel that his current situation [finances/family, etc.] precludes this.
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Some people, no matter their level of frustration in their current position, fail to have the motivation to change their situation. They seem to be more comfortable complaining than "doing". “The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those that speak it.”
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