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Your Dating Strategy Needs a Tune Up Every few weeks, I get together with friends for cocktails. It is a great way to check-in, and catch up. The venue depends on the mix of the group, no surprise there. The guys tend to prefer a Cigar Bar, whereas the ladies preference is a cozy Wine Bar. I have no problem with either venue as it is more about the company. Last week I was in a Wine Bar with the ladies. Cocktails with “the girls” is always a hoot! I affectionately call them girls, even though we are all Baby-boomers, and fairly close in age. Ok, I confess. I am a few years older, and certainly the least savvy. That is part of the fun. I learn so much about the female psyche and their issues with men. These meetings facilitate the evolution of my perspective on the human condition in the New Normal. The ladies are all accomplished professionals. They are also single and actively dating. The stories they tell are fascinating, ranging from the absurd to the sublime. More often than not, their experiences fall into the absurd range. Even at our age, they have difficulty understanding the masculine perspective so they have appointed me as their guru. My role seems to change from translator to Father Confessor, and at times, a dating coach. Actually, it is not such a stretch, as I fulfill all of these roles in my Executive Search practice. That may be why they have adopted me for this role. Then again, it could be my brilliant wit and conversational skills. Last week we migrated into the topic of musical interests when one of the ladies volunteered that she really enjoys Jazz. I was pleased to hear that as I am fond of Jazz and have a respectable collection of artists. I cannot say that I was surprised by her admission as it fits her style. We had a nice conversation about Jazz ending on a down note that there is not as much opportunity to enjoy live performances. Actually, I am not certain that is the case, as I have not really sought out Jazz clubs or performances as my interests have taken me in other directions. But, that is a story for another time. I later reflected on their recurring theme; the difficulty of meeting compatible mates. Interestingly, I have not heard much from the ladies about matching their personal interest with opportunities to meet guys. So much of their search for the right mate has been on-line, probably due to career-related time constraints. When we were young, we met potential mates in College, on the job, in bars, and even at Church. Often, we were introduced by mutual friends and relatives. Today, with many more years of experience and responsibilities, the dating scene has changed. People still meet people the old fashioned way, but to a lesser extent, it seems. In addition to the on-line venues, there are general interest meet-up groups for Baby Boomers, but I have heard mixed reviews about their effectiveness. Putting on my Executive Recruiter hat, dating is networking. Successful networking includes meeting people with shared interests. Shouldn’t people in the dating mode follow a similar strategy? Well, as it happens, I am meeting the ladies again this evening. I will explore this question further over a bottle of wine. More to follow. Stay tuned. #over 50 dating Jim Weber, President NEW CENTURY DYNAMICS EXECUTIVE SEARCH Author, "Fighting Alligators: Job Search Strategy For The New Normal" |
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