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Anticipating My Own Confusion. 
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Yesterday, I came across a short interview with Jerry Stiller about his time on the Seinfeld Show and some out-takes of him missing his cues ...He was 70 when he got that job and hadn't memorized script for years...He said he would memorize his script thoroughly, but then he would forget a word and feel really embarrassed when they kept having to do retakes because of him....Then he would get really anxious, which would compound his forgetfulness... I see myself anticipating my own possible confusion these days and compensate in various ways....I have a notebook at my side, making notes...At first, I was in denial but that resulted in having to look thing up repeatedly.... I'm becoming resigned to the inevitable sloughing off of information....I had a really interesting analogy for this situation, but I forget how it went...Darn..I should have written it down.....I feel porous....
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Yesterday, I came across a short interview with Jerry Stiller about his time on the Seinfeld Show and some out-takes of him missing his cues ...He was 70 when he got that job and hadn't memorized script for years...He said he would memorize his script thoroughly, but then he would forget a word and feel really embarrassed when they kept having to do retakes because of him....Then he would get really anxious, which would compound his forgetfulness... I see myself anticipating my own possible confusion these days and compensate in various ways....I have a notebook at my side, making notes...At first, I was in denial but that resulted in having to look thing up repeatedly.... I'm becoming resigned to the inevitable sloughing off of information....I had a really interesting analogy for this situation, but I forget how it went...Darn..I should have written it down.....I feel porous....  Loss of memory is a very real concern at our age, and one of the keys to mental acuity is to keep our brains active. I would think you would have very little trouble doing that with all your creative talents. Be a prism, spreading God's light and love, not a mirror reflecting the world's hatred.
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I hate it when one minute you remember it and the next minute it has flown out of your head. Today I was out and about and I was at the intersection waiting for the light and this elderly lady came up beside me. She asked me where she lived. I said to her before I can answer that you have to show me your ID showing your address. She was pulling things out of her purse and out came her key chain and she said this is where I live. All it had on it was her apartment number. She said she had been doing a little shopping down the street. She was so confused and I wondered why she was out and about on her own. I couldn't help her so she wandered down the street on her own. That is a scary thing and you hear about cases like that when someone has wandered off on their own.
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First one has to eliminate the physical factor....Which can be eliminated by reasoning the question than having the answer. i doubt the "overload" is an answer....Like we have no choice in what we remember. Getting Real is the answer.. from a pretend life of motivation, choices, and importance We fill our brains with imaginary possibilities.. because we each have lived an imaginary life. When life is a race to be won or lost..It's our past that will always catch up to us. When the "good" is in the past.. and the "bad" is our victimization...There is nothing left to do but forget. Forgetting who you are is a lot easier than forgetting what you are.
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Whew! I see I am not alone  We both take Cognium, a generic for Prevagin twice a day. I still have some problems but hey, I still remember where I live, what color car I have, unfortunately there are sure a lot of white cars in parking lots 
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Whew! I see I am not alone We both take Cognium, a generic for Prevagin twice a day. I still have some problems but hey, I still remember where I live, what color car I have, unfortunately there are sure a lot of white cars in parking lots
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Whew! I see I am not alone We both take Cognium, a generic for Prevagin twice a day. I still have some problems but hey, I still remember where I live, what color car I have, unfortunately there are sure a lot of white cars in parking lots
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I hate it when one minute you remember it and the next minute it has flown out of your head. Today I was out and about and I was at the intersection waiting for the light and this elderly lady came up beside me. She asked me where she lived. I said to her before I can answer that you have to show me your ID showing your address. She was pulling things out of her purse and out came her key chain and she said this is where I live. All it had on it was her apartment number. She said she had been doing a little shopping down the street. She was so confused and I wondered why she was out and about on her own. I couldn't help her so she wandered down the street on her own. That is a scary thing and you hear about cases like that when someone has wandered off on their own.
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Sparkle I felt bad that I wasn't able to help her. I have never experienced anything like that before. There weren't any other people around at the time or otherwise I would have asked someone else what to do. I was in a rush as I had an appointment. I was just shocked she didn't seem to have any ID on her or at least from what I could see. I have a feeling she just left and maybe didn't tell anyone. Anyway I just hope she was able to get home or maybe ran into someone else to get answers.
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I don't think I would have left her....Maybe it's because I live in a small community, but I would have stayed with her until we found a solution....
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I feel so sorry for that poor lady, imagine forgetting where you live. I hope she found her way home safely in the end.
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Dementia is I think one of the cruelest diseases out there. You are alive, alert, but the world you knew so well over the course of a lifetime ceases to exist for you. Strangers are suddenly loved ones, and loved ones equally so, strangers. confusion, anger, fear and mistrust engulf a once loving and trusting soul. Time bends, warps, and loops in rabbit trails. The worst thing I ever had to do , was tell a man with advanced Alzheimers his wife was dead. I had to tell him this, several times a day, every day, and every single time, it was the first time, he had ever heard the news. Until one day after great discussions, his wife stopped being dead and simply was late returning from lunch with the ladies. I am thankful that every year treatment for this disease improves.
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First one has to eliminate the physical factor....Which can be eliminated by reasoning the question than having the answer. i doubt the "overload" is an answer....Like we have no choice in what we remember. Getting Real is the answer.. from a pretend life of motivation, choices, and importance We fill our brains with imaginary possibilities.. because we each have lived an imaginary life. When life is a race to be won or lost..It's our past that will always catch up to us. When the "good" is in the past.. and the "bad" is our victimization...There is nothing left to do but forget. Forgetting who you are is a lot easier than forgetting what you are. I went through a period about 20 years ago, where I became very aware of my unconscious decisions....my automatic/habitual behaviour. I filled many journals with these observations....Eventually, it became exhausting and switched the habits back on, but I retained the ability to switch back to observing my automaton unconscious when I feel the need.... I tried to share that process with a friend and he immediately said "I have never made an unconscious decision in my life.".....I asked him which shoe he put on first that morning ,what he put in his coffee....what route he took when driving to work....We are all functioning on unconscious/automatic much of the time....It's a safe/comforting habit...
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Interesting comment.....So you're saying that Dementia/Alzheimer's, has a component of unconscious choice as to what we remember/forget?...... I went through a period about 20 years ago, where I became very aware of my unconscious decisions....my automatic/habitual behaviour. I filled many journals with these observations....Eventually, it became exhausting and switched the habits back on, but I retained the ability to switch back to observing my automaton unconscious when I feel the need.... I tried to share that process with a friend and he immediately said "I have never made an unconscious decision in my life.".....I asked him which shoe he put on first that morning ,what he put in his coffee....what route he took when driving to work....We are all functioning on unconscious/automatic much of the time....It's a safe/comforting habit... Dementia and Alzheimer.. I believe are clinical terms..Physical factors not mental ones. If one can reason they have dementia,, then you probably don't have it. Our memory does shut down on habitual and automatic behaviors.. It's a necessity to not live in a state of constant danger of each and every decision. Prioritizing those decisions that could have the greatest impact. These are not conscience decision, yet when ones deems something to be safe..the memory of it shuts downs. Animals are very similar, especially if you ever owned a cat. We live with a created certainty of trust and safety..that goes way beyond putting on one's shoe.. violation turns it all round,, from the least important to the most important... People say after a home breakin they feel violated..It's their trust, safety, and habitual ability to forget that has been violated. Politically you and i have had our homes broken into.. We can't explain it. Because those who have forgotten still forget.. There will come a breaking point..when more are challenged and less forget.. It's inevitable for those who continue to live in choice instead of reality. There are too many Americans who still think they are safe, and choose not to think about it at all. That will come to an end.
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It's so monumentally huge....this net of unconsciousness that is snagging on complacency and entitlement....on soothing lullabies of Heaven....who have never had to think their way out of a corner. Who believe that Faith is a pathway to truth and get locked into a maze of ricocheting lies with no pathway out.
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It's so monumentally huge....this net of unconsciousness that is snagging on complacency and entitlement....on soothing lullabies of Heaven....who have never had to think their way out of a corner. Who believe that Faith is a pathway to truth and get locked into a maze of ricocheting lies with no pathway out. the irony for me is religion is both the cause and the cure.. i have never doubted the value of religion to CONTROL a Society. What's happening now is not a new thing.. It a very, very old thing..The children of God and the children of that society have been unshackled from the manipulation.. Now, Grown up to discover a new found stupidity.. The baby has been thrown out with the dirty bathwater. When confronted with unagreeable FACTS..One needs to create an agreeable fantasy. That's what religion is in a confined society, religion promotes a commonality of fantasy to overcome unagreeable facts. Religion keeps a society together that otherwise would spin out of control. In our new society, tribalism and partisanship, takes on a new definition and creates the new sense of belonging...There is no longer an agreement of any sort..Religion no longer works to control society....There are other fantasies that control..like patriotism...nationalism, community, institutions, government, and the Constitution to rely on it... it once also provided a sense of belonging.. It gave our society... the "constitution" of health, stamina, and a vital force We can't go back and get it..There is only one final solution.....The ultimate necessity of survival. It which man's greatest enemy will become man himself. It's only just begun... Reality is a bitch..
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