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sparkleflit 76F
5205 posts
4/13/2019 11:33 am
MEN CAUSE 100% OF UNWANTED PREGNANCIES



by Gabrielle Blair.

A s a mother of six and a Mormon, I have a good understanding of arguments surrounding abortion, religious and otherwise. When I hear men discussing women’s reproductive rights, I’m often left with the thought that they have zero interest in stopping abortion.

If you want to prevent abortion, you need to prevent unwanted pregnancies. Men seem unable (or unwilling) to admit that they cause 100% of them.

I realize that’s a bold statement. You’re likely thinking, “Wait. It takes two to tango!” While I fully agree with you in the case of intentional pregnancies, I argue that all unwanted pregnancies are caused by the irresponsible ejaculations of men. All of them.

Don’t believe me?

Let’s start with this: A woman’s egg is only fertile for about two days each month. Yes, there are exceptions, because nature. But one egg which is fertile two days each month is the baseline. And those fertile eggs are produced for a limited number of years. This means, on average, women are fertile for about 24 days per year.

But men are fertile 365 days a year. In fact, if you’re a man who ejaculates multiple times a day, you could cause multiple pregnancies daily. In theory, a man could cause 1000+ unwanted pregnancies in just one year. While it’s true that sperm gets crappier as men age, it doesn’t have a fertility expiration date; men can cause unwanted pregnancies from puberty until death. So, starting with basic fertility stats and the calendar, it’s easy to see that men are the issue here.

As a society, we really don’t mind if women suffer, physically or mentally, as long as it makes things easier for men.
“But what about birth control?” you might ask. “ If a woman can manage to figure out how to get an abortion, surely she can use birth control to avoid unwanted pregnancy, right?”

Great question. Modern birth control for women is possibly the most important invention of the last century, and I’m very grateful for it. It’s also brutal. The side effects for many women include migraines, mood swings, decreased libido, depression, severe cramps, heavy bleeding, aneurysm — and that’s just a small fraction of them.

Discouragingly, a promising study on a new male contraceptive was canceled in large part due to… (wait for it)… side effects. To be clear, this list of side effects was about one-third as long as the known side effects for commonly used women’s contraception. There’s a lot to unpack in that story alone. I’ll simply point out that, as a society, we really don’t mind if women suffer, physically or mentally, as long as it makes things easier for men.

But, men, I’ve got good news. Even with the horrible side effects, women are (amazingly!) very willing to use birth control. Unfortunately, it’s harder to get than it should be, but that doesn’t keep women from trying. Birth control options for women require a doctor’s appointment — sometimes multiple doctor’s appointments — and a prescription. They’re not always free, and often not cheap. Some are actually trying to make female birth control options more expensive by allowing insurance companies to refuse to cover them. In addition, contraceptive options for women can’t be easily acquired at the last minute. In most cases, they don’t work instantly.

The pill requires consistent daily use and doesn’t leave much room for mistakes, forgetfulness, or unexpected disruptions to daily schedules. Again, the side effects can be brutal — and not just in rare cases. Despite the hassle and side effects, I’m still grateful for birth control. (Please don’t take it away.) But it’s critical to understand that women’s birth control isn’t simple or easy.

In contrast, let’s look at birth control for men — i.e., condoms. They’re readily available at all hours, inexpensive, convenient, and don’t require a prescription. They’re effective and work on demand, instantly. They don’t cause aneurysms, mood swings, or debilitating cramps. Men can keep them stocked up just in case, so they’re always prepared. They can be easily used at the last minute. I mean, condoms are magic! So much easier than birth control options for women.

As a bonus, most women are totally on board with condoms. They keep us from getting STDs. They don’t lessen our pleasure during sex or prevent us from climaxing. The best part? Cleanup is so much easier — no waddling to the toilet as jizz drips down our legs.

So why would there ever be unwanted pregnancies? Why don’t men just use condoms every time they have sex? Seems so simple, right?

Oh. I remember. Men don’t love condoms. In fact, it’s very, very common for men to pressure women to have sex without a condom. It’s also not unheard of for men to remove the condom during sex without the women’s permission or knowledge. (Pro tip: That’s assault.)

Why would men want to have sex without a condom? Because, for the precious minutes when they’re penetrating their partner, not wearing a condom gives them more pleasure. So… that would mean some men are willing to risk getting a woman pregnant — which means literally risking her life, her health, her social status, her relationships, and her career — so they can experience a few minutes of slightly increased pleasure. Is this for real?

Yes. Yes, it is.

Pregnancies happen when men have an orgasm. Unwanted pregnancies happen when men orgasm irresponsibly.
Imagine a pleasure scale, with pain beginning at zero and going down into the negatives. A good back-scratch falls at 5, and an orgasm without a condom is a 10. Where would sex with a condom fall? A 7 or 8? So, it’s not that sex with a condom is not pleasurable, it’s just not as pleasurable. An 8 instead of a 10.

Let me emphasize that again: Men regularly choose to put women at massive risk in order to experience a few minutes of slightly increased pleasure.

For the truly condom-averse, men also have a non-condom, always-ready birth control option built right in: the pull-out. It doesn’t protect against STDs, it’s an easy joke, and it’s far from perfect. However, it’s 96% effective if done correctly, and 78% effective in practice (because it’s often not done correctly).

Still, many men who resist wearing condoms never learn how to pull out correctly. Apparently, it’s slightly more pleasurable to climax inside a vagina than, say, on their partner’s stomach. Once again, men are willing to risk the life, health, and well-being of women in order to experience a tiny bit more pleasure for roughly five seconds during orgasm.

Think of the choice men are making here. Honestly, I’m not as mad as I should be about this, because we’ve trained men from birth to disassociate sex and pregnancy. We’ve taught them that their pleasure is of utmost importance.

As a general rule, men get women pregnant by having an orgasm. Yes, there are exceptions — it’s possible for sperm to show up in pre-ejaculate — but in most cases, getting a woman pregnant is a pleasurable act for men. But men can get a woman pregnant without her feeling any pleasure at all. It’s even possible for a man to impregnate a woman while causing her excruciating pain, trauma, or horror.

In contrast, a woman can have nonstop orgasms with or without a partner and never once get herself pregnant. A woman’s orgasm has literally nothing to do with pregnancy or fertility — her clitoris exists simply for pleasure, not for creating new humans. No matter how many orgasms she has, they won’t make her pregnant.

Pregnancies happen when men have an orgasm. Unwanted pregnancies happen when men orgasm irresponsibly.

A woman can be the sluttiest slut in the entire world, she can love having orgasms all day and all night long, and she will never find herself with an unwanted pregnancy unless a man shows up and ejaculates irresponsibly. Though our society tends to villainize female pleasure, women’s enjoyment of sex does not equal unwanted pregnancy and abortion. Men’s enjoyment of sex and irresponsible ejaculations do.

Let’s move to the topic of responsibility. Often, men don’t know, don’t ask, and don’t think to ask if they’ve caused a pregnancy. There are often zero consequences for men who cause unwanted pregnancies.

If the woman decides to have an abortion, the man may never even know he caused an unwanted pregnancy with his irresponsible ejaculation. If the woman decides to have the baby, or put the baby up for adoption, the man may never know he caused an unwanted pregnancy with his irresponsible ejaculation either. He may never know there’s now a walking around with 50% of his DNA.

If the woman does tell him he caused an unwanted pregnancy and that she’s having the baby, the closest thing to a consequence for him is support. Our current support system is a well-known joke. Only about 61 percent of required payments by men are actually made, and there are little to no repercussions for skipping out. In some states, failing to pay support doesn’t even affect your credit.

If a man does pay support, it doesn’t come close to what is required by a woman in the case of an unwanted pregnancy.

Let’s talk about abortion. When the topic comes up, men might think: Abortion is horrible; women should not have abortions. Never once do they consider the man who caused the unwanted pregnancy.

If you actually care about reducing or eliminating the number of abortions in our country, simply hold men accountable for their actions.
If we’re discussing abortion law — and not how to hold men accountable for irresponsible ejaculations, and the unwanted pregnancies caused by them — we’re wasting our time. Shift the conversation. Stop protesting at clinics. Stop shaming women. Stop debating whether or not to overturn abortion laws. If you actually care about reducing or eliminating the number of abortions in our country, simply hold men accountable for their actions.

What would that look like? A real and immediate consequence for men who cause an unwanted pregnancy. What kind of consequence would make sense? Should it be as harsh, painful, nauseating, scarring, expensive, risky, and life-altering…

… as forcing a woman to go through a nine-month unwanted pregnancy?

If you consider abortion to be murder, consider this thought experiment: Would you be on board with having a handful of men castrated to prevent 600,000 murders each year? If this argument sounds too provocative, could it be that many of us have a hard time wrapping our heads around a physical punishment for men? We seem to be more than fine with physical punishments for women. Perhaps we care more about policing women’s bodies, morality, and sexuality than we do about reducing or eliminating abortions.

Here’s another prevention idea: All males in the U.S. could get a vasectomy when they are ready to be sexually active. Vasectomies are very safe, highly reversible, and about as invasive as a woman getting an IUD implanted. In most cases, there’s some soreness afterwards for about 24 hours, but that’s pretty much it for side effects. (Take a moment to remember that female contraception options, used by millions of women in our country and billions across the world, have well-known side effects which can be brutal and severe — and yes, also include soreness.) If and when a man becomes a responsible adult, finds a mate, and wants to have a baby, the vasectomy can be reversed and then redone once the childbearing stage is over. Each man can bank their sperm before the vasectomy, just in case.

Don’t like my ideas? That’s fine. I’m sure there are better ideas, and I challenge you to suggest your own. My point is we need to stop focusing on women if we’re trying to get rid of abortions. Think of abortion as the “cure” for an unwanted pregnancy. To stop abortions, we need to prevent the “disease” — meaning, the unwanted pregnancy itself. And the only way to do that is by focusing on men, because irresponsible ejaculations by men cause 100% of unwanted pregnancy.

Ask yourselves: What would it take for you to value the life of your sexual partner more than your own temporary pleasure or convenience?
If you’re a man, what would it take for you to never again ejaculate irresponsibly? A loss of money, rights, or freedoms? Physical pain? Ask yourselves: What would it take for you to value the life of your sexual partner more than your own temporary pleasure or convenience?

Men mostly run our government, and men mostly make our laws. In theory, men could eliminate — or drastically reduce — abortions within months without ever touching an abortion law or even mentioning women. They’d simply need to hold men accountable for irresponsible ejaculations, and legislate accordingly.

To reduce or eliminate abortions, stop attempting to control women’s bodies and sexuality. Because unwanted pregnancies are caused by men.


sparkleflit 76F
10271 posts
4/13/2019 11:36 am

#SPERM......#EJACULATION.......#SPUNK


jiminycricket1 73M
13732 posts
4/13/2019 12:12 pm

Women cause 100% of unwanted MEN


TxJW15 81M

4/13/2019 12:27 pm

Maggie
Exactly


Katie_au_lait 78F
7026 posts
4/13/2019 12:41 pm

What a great article, Sparkle

The same people who call themselves "pro-life" are the ones who also sneer at single mothers, and even their children, simply because... as they would have it... those mothers "bore a baby without a father". If that were really true there must have been millions (if not billions!) of virgin births on the planet.
I believe the day will come when an alternative to abortion will be discovered and abortion will no longer exist. Science is constantly progressing, embryos can now be frozen for use at a future date. If "test-tube" births are acceptable it should be possible to do something along the same lines.

I wonder what the hysterical pro-lifers like BB will scream about when he can't accuse women of being murderers but allow the men to get off with murder?


sparkleflit 76F
10271 posts
4/13/2019 1:12 pm

Would you like to elaborate on that meaningless remark?


sparkleflit 76F
10271 posts
4/13/2019 1:17 pm

    Quoting  :

Perhaps you would like to comment on the actual content of the blog......but, then again, you're probably waiting until you find someone else's words to post.


sparkleflit 76F
10271 posts
4/13/2019 1:39 pm

    Quoting  :

?You obviously didn't read the blog.. If a man takes responsibility for his sperm, he uses birth control......he doesn't assume the woman is taking care of it........If you comment again without reading the article, I will delete.


jiminycricket1 73M
13732 posts
4/13/2019 2:02 pm

    Quoting sparkleflit:
    Would you like to elaborate on that meaningless remark?
Well, first of all.. if you think about .. It's pretty funny.. given your title..

But in truth....It takes two to tango.. Unwanted Men ....Unwanted pregnancies.??? Seems in one case... the barn door gets shut before the horse get out... and the other case the barn door gets shut...after the horse has gotten out .

I doubt Men are the cause of 100% of anything.......
If you take away the fact... there is no such thing as a bitchy woman..LMAO


Rocketship 79F
18528 posts
4/13/2019 2:38 pm

What an interesting post!!

Such a simple solution to the issue of abortion!!


sparkleflit 76F
10271 posts
4/13/2019 4:59 pm

    Quoting  :

If you read it, it means your reading comprehension is abysmal....LOL.....Apparently you read like you write.


sparkleflit 76F
10271 posts
4/13/2019 5:06 pm

    Quoting jiminycricket1:
    Well, first of all.. if you think about .. It's pretty funny.. given your title..

    But in truth....It takes two to tango.. Unwanted Men ....Unwanted pregnancies.??? Seems in one case... the barn door gets shut before the horse get out... and the other case the barn door gets shut...after the horse has gotten out .

    I doubt Men are the cause of 100% of anything.......
    If you take away the fact... there is no such thing as a bitchy woman..LMAO
I often miss your meaning because you present your ideas as if they are some complex, esoteric idea that no one ever thought of before and then they turn out to be simple and obvious, just presented in a circuitous and awkward way........


sparkleflit 76F
10271 posts
4/13/2019 7:23 pm

    Quoting  :

But it has nothing to do with this blog, so go do your navel-gazing somewhere else.


sparkleflit 76F
10271 posts
4/13/2019 7:45 pm

    Quoting Katie_au_lait:
    What a great article, Sparkle

    The same people who call themselves "pro-life" are the ones who also sneer at single mothers, and even their children, simply because... as they would have it... those mothers "bore a baby without a father". If that were really true there must have been millions (if not billions!) of virgin births on the planet.
    I believe the day will come when an alternative to abortion will be discovered and abortion will no longer exist. Science is constantly progressing, embryos can now be frozen for use at a future date. If "test-tube" births are acceptable it should be possible to do something along the same lines.

    I wonder what the hysterical pro-lifers like BB will scream about when he can't accuse women of being murderers but allow the men to get off with murder?
Yup......I was shocked the other day on this site reading a comment by a woman. She was expressing anger at people who she claimed had abused the food stamp system......She asked "how would you like it if a single mother" did such and such........The fact that she was a single mother had absolutely no bearing on the situation and was used as a descriptor, as if being a single mother was an indicator of her character. No mention of the father and what he was contributing to the child's life.......I was so shocked by that because I haven't come across that attitude for at least 40 years.......


DrJanetK 63F

4/14/2019 12:58 am

I had the honor of meeting Gabrielle Stanley Blair at a Wall Street Journal social function many years ago.
Her parenting skills and blogs are well received and reviewed as near the top in her field by both the Times and Post.
This article of hers I just finished reading has many parts of another feature article of hers.
Abortion was one of my most involved issues of my female patients. The Emotional loss is devastating to a woman. MY older sister at age 19 underwent a clinical abortion and could never have children again. God rest her departed soul!


Katie_au_lait 78F
7026 posts
4/14/2019 3:06 am

    Quoting  :

You could try telling him to stick it somewhere else... and see how that works out!
You obviously didn't read the full article either... if you still believe it's a woman's place to "keep her legs crossed"

So much for "freedom"


jiminycricket1 73M
13732 posts
4/14/2019 7:05 am

    Quoting sparkleflit:
    I often miss your meaning because you present your ideas as if they are some complex, esoteric idea that no one ever thought of before and then they turn out to be simple and obvious, just presented in a circuitous and awkward way........
I do have a "different" way of asking a question or presenting an argument..

For me it's always about how things relate to each other..It's the way i think..

What I once thought was obvious for everybody.. is NOT obvious at all... What appears as an unrelated statement...... For me.... relates specifically to the question..

For me it's about the way in which people learn and are able to remember things..In degrees we all do it the same... Sometimes we use rote memory..other times things we learn and remember, as it relates to some thing else. I'm mostly the latter. I decided at a very young age that rote memory for me..was too difficult. too limited, and in way, to me, demeaning. I have grown to almost complete use my memory and learning by relationships.
Instead of using a specific idea to build a big picture . I use a big picture, dissect it. to see how the specific idea piece fits... My questions are always about..how the piece fits

.There are two problems with that .. I have to deal with..First my questions are almost never direct. Many times only deal with the relationships and not the subject
People answers.... rarely deal with the same relationships.. but try to be direct..
.I rarely think those people are wrong.....just not on the same page.


sparkleflit 76F
10271 posts
4/14/2019 10:37 am

    Quoting DrJanetK:
    I had the honor of meeting Gabrielle Stanley Blair at a Wall Street Journal social function many years ago.
    Her parenting skills and blogs are well received and reviewed as near the top in her field by both the Times and Post.
    This article of hers I just finished reading has many parts of another feature article of hers.
    Abortion was one of my most involved issues of my female patients. The Emotional loss is devastating to a woman. MY older sister at age 19 underwent a clinical abortion and could never have children again. God rest her departed soul!
Thank you for your intelligent response. Yes, Gabrielle Stanley Blair is an accomplished journalist.....I find her views refreshing and grounded in reason.

It's obvious that the men on this site are intimidated by a strong female voice. They seem incapable of grasping the idea of men taking responsibility for their sperm.......Still seeing themselves as victims of women who tricked them into fatherhood........A male acquaintance once told me he had been tricked into fatherhood 3 times....with three different women.......it never occurred to him to take responsibility for birth-control.....

I remember on the first day of the school year....grade 4. I put up my hand and asked to go to the bathroom. The teacher said no, you have to wait until recess. Shortly after, a boy puts up his hand with the same request and the teacher says yes. I asked why he could go and I couldn't. The teacher said....to the whole class, that boys just don't have control of themselves.....another boys will be boys moment.......perpetuating the myth into the next generation.


sparkleflit 76F
10271 posts
4/14/2019 10:57 am

    Quoting  :

Interesting but not surprising that you have nothing cogent to contribute to a discussion about the male's responsibilities concerning unwanted pregnancies.


DrJanetK 63F

4/14/2019 11:20 am

Except for Hands Solo, Sex is a two part thing!