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I WOULD LIKE YOUR OPINION I had a good friend on the virtual site I belong to. At least I thought she was a good friend. I have been there for her a lot. She has been through many relationships there. Anyhow, her fiancé wrote a novel that has not been published. It is a murder mystery so I told him about my sexual murder mystery story. He knows it is erotica and that I don't pussy foot around (pun intended). I use very explicit words. Anyhow, he said he would like to check it out so I told him the title and my pen name . I then asked him if he wanted me to send him a free copy. He said yes. He gave me his e-mail address and I sent it to him. Next thing I know, my so-called friend sent me a nasty message saying something like why did I send him one of my "dirty stories"? I told her it was a gesture of friendship and because he wrote a murder mystery. I have sent many people free stories on that site as a token of my friendship, just like I have received gifts. I said I am not after him and in fact have a new boyfriend there, as I told her fiance too. She said she knows I am not making a play for him so what exactly is her problem? For 2 days the fiancé tried to convince her to get over it. At one point, I was told to wait while he tries to get through to her. I got fed up and couldn't take it anymore. Then she removed me from her friend's list. I wrote her a heartfelt message today and in return, she wrote that if I write her about this again, I will be put to ignore. I put her to ignore and she is no longer a friend. This is a 1st for me. I take friendship very seriously. What do you think? Elaine Shuel |
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Perhaps she does not like her boyfriend reading erotica? Sounds more like a problem between the two of them, and she is projecting her displeasure with him onto you. Not a true friend's actions, IMO. Some friends come and go in our lives, and it can be painful. Be a prism, spreading God's light and love, not a mirror reflecting the world's hatred.
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Perhaps she does not like her boyfriend reading erotica? Sounds more like a problem between the two of them, and she is projecting her displeasure with him onto you. Not a true friend's actions, IMO. Some friends come and go in our lives, and it can be painful.  I agree with you. Yes, unfortunately it does hurt.Elaine Shuel
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Maggie, you have the facts all wrong. I have the new bf (again on the site only). This is her fiance on the site (not real life). She knew I write erotica as did he. He asked to see the story and I sent him a free copy. We had a private chat, which people do on the site and he gave me his e-mail to send the story. Elaine Shuel
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A response from Dear Abby is unexpected.  I am no longer a friend of either of them. Thanks Ranger. Elaine Shuel
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When she removed me from her friend's list and threatened to put me to ignore, I knew there was no turning back. Sad but true. Thanks Dan. Elaine Shuel
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Hi Elaine...nice to see you again. Sounds like to me your friend is jealous of you and it doesn't matter how much you explain to her the circumstances. She doesn't want to hear what you have to say. It is rather unfortunate as you have lost a friend. Virtual friends are different from real friends as you cant see them face to face.
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What you did was innocent enough, but your former friend felt overwise. There's nothing you can do about it but move on. It's always sad to lose a friend, isn't it!! Sighhhhh........ Warm Hugssss~~~~
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She's been through a lot of relationships there? Sounds like she is the one with the problem, she has no trust of you, and obviously she doesn't trust her fiancee. Women who act like that really have problems, it is jealousy, and she will have to work it out for herself. Don't let it get you down, I know personally how it feels, so it won't be easy, just know the hurt will eventually fade away.
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What you did was innocent enough, but your former friend felt overwise. There's nothing you can do about it but move on. It's always sad to lose a friend, isn't it!! Sighhhhh........ Warm Hugssss~~~~ Elaine Shuel
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She's been through a lot of relationships there? Sounds like she is the one with the problem, she has no trust of you, and obviously she doesn't trust her fiancee. Women who act like that really have problems, it is jealousy, and she will have to work it out for herself. Don't let it get you down, I know personally how it feels, so it won't be easy, just know the hurt will eventually fade away. She said she knows I wasn't trying to make a play for him but if jealousy was the reason, it sounds like that perhaps she isn't being honest. If I had any idea she would be upset by me sending him my story, I wouldn't have sent it.Elaine Shuel
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Thanks Lulu. I know that some don't really understand that there are real feelings behind those avatars and for that matter, online dating sites. She met the guy 2 months ago but he became her fiance at the site weeks ago. She has no real life relationship and I think she might be hoping they can end up that. In my case, I know my real life boyfriend is who counts. I care for my virtual boyfriend but there is no comparison for me. I can separate real from fiction, as I did during my phone sex job. I have to admit that I am feeling very sad today but I will get past it. I am shocked at what happened. I do appreciate your input, along with everyone else who responded or will respond. Thanks for your comment. Elaine Shuel
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8/6/2016 9:40 pm |
Sorry but I can't be of much help. I had a few thoughts at first but then when I understood this was a virtual game I was at a loss. I know little about how these games work. If I had the time I might play for "shits and giggles" but would stop if I got emotionally involved. My life often leaves me emotionally exhausted as it is. Spiritwoman ^i^
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Thanks Rae. She said she knows I wasn't trying to make a play for him but if jealousy was the reason, it sounds like that perhaps she isn't being honest. If I had any idea she would be upset by me sending him my story, I wouldn't have sent it.
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Hi Elaine...nice to see you again. Sounds like to me your friend is jealous of you and it doesn't matter how much you explain to her the circumstances. She doesn't want to hear what you have to say. It is rather unfortunate as you have lost a friend. Virtual friends are different from real friends as you cant see them face to face. Yes, I feel bad losing a friend. I have had phone friends over the years that lasted untii they died, so to me, I don't have to see someone in person to feel close. Thanks for your comment. Elaine Shuel
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Maggie, i do want opinions. I am not cheating on anyone. My real life boyfriend is fine with me having a virtual boyfriend and vice versa. I don't lie to any of them. I am an upfront person. My real life boyfriend is a workaholic so I need to have something I enjoy and he knows that. I don't play anywhere to gather ideas. My stories have all come from things that inspire me but none have come from this site or the virtual one. If I ever decide to write about my experiences, what happened with my friend, would be first. I come here and belong there to have fun, pure and simple. Elaine Shuel
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Sorry but I can't be of much help. I had a few thoughts at first but then when I understood this was a virtual game I was at a loss. I know little about how these games work. If I had the time I might play for "shits and giggles" but would stop if I got emotionally involved. My life often leaves me emotionally exhausted as it is. I have left there before and may do so again. I am there to have fun not all this stress.Elaine Shuel
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It is silliness on her part to get upset over a book. What I don't understand is how people can get so emotionally tied up with someone on line. I'm not saying people can't be friends and be there for each other when needed, we do that here, but a virtual boyfriend? She may meet him in person and hate his guts, it happens. My daughter was crazy about some man she met online, he was all she talked about, they even did the Skype thing and talked on the phone for hours. He finally flew out here to meet her and he was nothing like he portrayed himself to be. I'll tell you all about when I get a chance at the FB place, but it's way after my bedtime and there are some things I can't mention here. Get my drift?  They are talking about meeting up but who knows how it will turn out. Elaine Shuel
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I Agree With Lulu- This Sexual Online Stuff Is Just Fantasy BUT Elaine It's Also Your Bread And Butter- These Men I'm Assuming Pay You For Online Sex - The Erotica Business Is Big Money - If You Get Involved Emotionally Then Don't Get Upset When Things Like This Happen Elaine Shuel
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I can separate my virtual life with my real life. I simply sent someone a book I wrote because he wanted to see it. Thanks for your opinion, Roxy. Elaine Shuel
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so much to try and focus on, in this age. the center of life is not pettiness, jealousy, envy or any, easy way out. not to be clichéd, but you find out who your friends are quick. am not and try not to be opinionated or judgmental in life(least ye be....). but you asked and my opinion is from a heart of unconditional love. Elaine Shuel
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We are no longer talking but sadly, I agree with you Rainier. Thank you. Elaine Shuel
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I just cant come to grips with having VIRTUAL Boyfriend. Especially when you have a boy friend in reality.HOW do you {she} GET ENGAGED virtually.?I am not trying to be awful, but I get dont get it.Is it like when we used to play with card board cut out dolls ? Because we didnt have a real doll. Didnt know people did this without ever expecting to meet, and perhaps get real. Elaine Shuel
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Thanks For Clarifying Elaine I am on virtual sites to have fun. I do sell layouts there but those are houses. It is the virtual equivalent of a real estate agent. Elaine Shuel
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8/8/2016 10:55 pm |
I think that people react online with their instincts, and if there is some unresolved stuff, they unleash it without restraint. And can harm this who have no protective screen. One psych I lik,e studying the effects of new tech on emotions, relationships (online stuff) stated that's not real until it's face to face. Online is only fantasy and such. Your virtual friend ( I think it's the proper term) overreacted in my opinion. Maybe immature. Maybe there is more to her stuff given how she reacted with you.
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I think that people react online with their instincts, and if there is some unresolved stuff, they unleash it without restraint. And can harm this who have no protective screen. One psych I lik,e studying the effects of new tech on emotions, relationships (online stuff) stated that's not real until it's face to face. Online is only fantasy and such. Your virtual friend ( I think it's the proper term) overreacted in my opinion. Maybe immature. Maybe there is more to her stuff given how she reacted with you. I am not sure why she reacted as she did and never will find out. I am not sure I agree with the psych though. I have had some great friendships with no face to face and know of marriages that happened from those getting close on this site and others.Elaine Shuel
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