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SHOE IS ON THE OTHER FOOT NOW I asked what you would do if you saw that your friend was being cheated on. I wanted to know if you would tell them and some would and some wouldn't. Now I am going the other route. You found out you were cheated on and then discovered your friend knew all along. How would you feel about this friend who knew and didn't tell you? I am especially curious to see how those who said to mind one's own business will answer this. Of course, I want to hear opinions from everyone. I for one, would never trust that friend again and would feel betrayed. Elaine Shuel |
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I totally agree, Puzzles.  A casual friend wouldn't be expected to tell me anything. I would expect a real friend to let me know. Thank you.Elaine Shuel
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I would not have understood if they were close friends. I am glad that in your case you were fine with it, given they didn't tell you. Thanks _JKH54.  Elaine Shuel
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I absolutely agree, JustAFewAgn. IF you tell your friend and they stay with the cheater, it is their choice. You can only be their friend. As far as someone telling you, I would have a hard time believing anyone but a true friend, who I know has my best interests at heart. Thanks for your comment. Elaine Shuel
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I had a lot of friends who knew my husband was cheating on me, none of them told me, and that was alright with me. Their reason was they didn't want to hurt my feelings. The bright side was they dumped my ex's friendship because he was a liar and a cheat, and I still have a friendship with a woman I've known since I was 16. It doesn't do any good to get mad at them because of what he was doing, right?
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Wow, I see that ET. 
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Thanks for your comment, RosesLady. I would have felt the same way you did. Elaine Shuel
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As I asked in the last post regarding this topic, is ignorance bliss? To you, it might be. To me, I would prefer not being kept in the dark. What if you found out 20 years into the marriage that your husband cheated on you throughout your marriage? You wouldn't prefer to have known sooner and go on with your life? Thanks for your comment, MySeek. Elaine Shuel
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I had a lot of friends who knew my husband was cheating on me, none of them told me, and that was alright with me. Their reason was they didn't want to hurt my feelings. The bright side was they dumped my ex's friendship because he was a liar and a cheat, and I still have a friendship with a woman I've known since I was 16. It doesn't do any good to get mad at them because of what he was doing, right? Elaine Shuel
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I expect my closest friends to always be honest with me. The hurt that my partner caused would have to be faced. but the betrayal of a friend would cut me as deep. Thanks for your comment, ET. Elaine Shuel
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I said in your other blog, I WOULDN'T TELL. Now I say my friend should NOT tell me. Anyway, are we really so stupid that we wouldnt already know?I wouldnt tell THEM Elaine Shuel
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You give your friend a break...the situation is just too awkward. Move on to forgiveness without delay.  If it happened to me, I think I would end up forgiving my friend but I would have a hard time trusting her completely. Thanks for your comment. Elaine Shuel
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4/27/2016 10:24 pm |
To me, telling a friend the truth means you care more about their life than about them possibly being upset with you. Telling a married person the truth is also making sure they have the opportunity to protect themself from STDs and even AIDS, because let's face it what kind of person sleeps with someone they know is already married.
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To me, telling a friend the truth means you care more about their life than about them possibly being upset with you. Telling a married person the truth is also making sure they have the opportunity to protect themself from STDs and even AIDS, because let's face it what kind of person sleeps with someone they know is already married. Elaine Shuel
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There are definitely risks when someone is having sex outside the relationship. Thanks for your comment, Roxy. Elaine Shuel
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MySeek, it wasn't directed at your relationship. I asked it since I know of a married guy who had a mistress for over 30 years, practically from the beginning of his marriage to another. It does happen. Was the wife blind to it? I think she was for many years. Eventually it is my belief that she knew. However, some guys are really great (some women too I gather) at keeping the truth from their significant others. They cheat when thy are away for business or during the day when the wife expects them to be at work. It does happen and to think that all women or men do know, is inaccurate, in my opinion. I would prefer being told than spend decades having false security and love. Thanks for your comment. I appreciate it. Elaine Shuel
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