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Blogs > shuel2002 > Speak Your Mind


shuel2002 65F
5101 posts
4/26/2016 4:36 pm
IS IGNORANCE BLISS?

Sorry I haven't been around much the past few days. I was feeling ill. I have no idea why but today I feel better. Anyhow something came up recently that got me thinking about whether it is good to tell others what we know. The best example is if you have a girl friend/boy friend and you catch them being cheated on by their significant other. Would you stay quiet or tell your friend? Would you want to know the truth or prefer not knowing if it happened to you? I personally would want to know.
Elaine Shuel
shuel2002 65F
5537 posts
4/26/2016 6:32 pm
    Quoting  :
Yes it is but would you tell your friend?
Elaine Shuel


shuel2002 65F
5537 posts
4/26/2016 7:05 pm
    Quoting  :
Fair enough. All your points are valid. For me, I would want to know because even if it was once, once is too much. Thanks for your comment, MySeek.
Elaine Shuel


shuel2002 65F
5537 posts
4/26/2016 7:22 pm
    Quoting  :
If I am understanding you correctly, if the guy seems like a nice guy, you wouldn't tell? Thanks for your comment, Lulu.
Elaine Shuel


Rocketship 80F
18568 posts
4/26/2016 7:38 pm

 Some how I would have to let my friend know.

It's a damned if you do....damned if you don't situation. She may not believe you and cut you off as a friend, or if she finds out later that you knew and didn't tell her she may cut you off as a friend for that..... sighhhh.


shuel2002 65F
5537 posts
4/26/2016 7:43 pm
    Quoting Rocketship:
    Some how I would have to let my friend know.

    It's a damned if you do....damned if you don't situation. She may not believe you and cut you off as a friend, or if she finds out later that you knew and didn't tell her she may cut you off as a friend for that..... sighhhh.
Very true, Rocket. I think how close you are to the friend, would affect the answer. There are friends and then there are friends. I couldn't keep the knowledge from someone that is close to me. If they would drop me for telling the truth, at least I would know I did the right thing for them. It would be their choice whether to stick with the relationship. Thanks for your response.
Elaine Shuel


shuel2002 65F
5537 posts
4/26/2016 7:46 pm
    Quoting  :
If he/she doesn't really know their partner well and you find out what they are like, to me a good friend would tell. I do understand your position and MySeek's but I don't feel minding one's own business is always the best policy if your friend is getting hurt. Thanks for your comment, ranger.
Elaine Shuel


spiritwoman45

4/26/2016 7:59 pm

 I was in a similar situation with a co worker. After much thought her in as non judgmental way as I could. I reached this decision by putting myself in her place. I would want to know but would want to hear then news in an Oh, by the way" manner the I would figure out how best to handle the situation.
Spiritwoman ^i^


Nileyears 71F
4208 posts
4/26/2016 10:28 pm

 I have never run into that problem, but I believe it's better to mind my own business. I knew someone that did tell and it destroyed a friendship and the woman stayed with her husband anyway. Caused a lot of pain for my friend, but hey, she had me!


bijou624

4/26/2016 11:28 pm

 I would definitely tell my friend, although telling the truth can backfire big time.

One day out of the blue a friend's boyfriend got my phone number and called me. He told me he has secretly been in love with me for years and asked me for a date. I told him he was disgusting. I agonized over telling my friend the truth but I told her. The boyfriend covering his bases told my friend that I was the one who called him for a date. She believed him and hasn't talked to me in years.


shuel2002 65F
5537 posts
4/27/2016 9:31 am
    Quoting spiritwoman45:
    I was in a similar situation with a co worker. After much thought her in as non judgmental way as I could. I reached this decision by putting myself in her place. I would want to know but would want to hear then news in an Oh, by the way" manner the I would figure out how best to handle the situation.
If you just tell the facts, it isn't being judgmental. I hope it worked out for your co worker and you, Spirit. I think if it was a co worker and not a friend, I would be afraid to tell. You work with the person so it could have gotten sticky. Thanks for your comment.
Elaine Shuel


shuel2002 65F
5537 posts
4/27/2016 9:31 am
    Quoting  :
Fair enough, boogie. Thanks.
Elaine Shuel


shuel2002 65F
5537 posts
4/27/2016 9:33 am
    Quoting  :
Strange, your comments weren't listed when I wrote some replies yesterday. Yes, it is a hard decision but your gut instinct will usually lead you to the right decision. Thanks ET.
Elaine Shuel


shuel2002 65F
5537 posts
4/27/2016 9:35 am
    Quoting  :
Thanks ET. You probably should see a doctor, given it's been going on for weeks. I must have had a 48 hour thing but I am still a bit more tired than usual. I hope your sister's double pneumonia is long gone.
Elaine Shuel


shuel2002 65F
5537 posts
4/27/2016 9:36 am
    Quoting  :
It is sad that if you are telling a friend something that would help them, it would bite you in the behind. Thanks _JKH54.
Elaine Shuel


shuel2002 65F
5537 posts
4/27/2016 9:36 am
    Quoting  :
Given what happened to you, I don't blame you.
Elaine Shuel


shuel2002 65F
5537 posts
4/27/2016 9:37 am
    Quoting Bumpkin2013:
    None of my business.Dontstir up trouble
Thanks for your response, Bumpkin.
Elaine Shuel


shuel2002 65F
5537 posts
4/27/2016 9:38 am
    Quoting Nileyears:
    I have never run into that problem, but I believe it's better to mind my own business. I knew someone that did tell and it destroyed a friendship and the woman stayed with her husband anyway. Caused a lot of pain for my friend, but hey, she had me!

Sad that it destroyed a friendship but glad she had you, Rae. Thanks for your comment.
Elaine Shuel


shuel2002 65F
5537 posts
4/27/2016 9:40 am
    Quoting bijou624:
    I would definitely tell my friend, although telling the truth can backfire big time.

    One day out of the blue a friend's boyfriend got my phone number and called me. He told me he has secretly been in love with me for years and asked me for a date. I told him he was disgusting. I agonized over telling my friend the truth but I told her. The boyfriend covering his bases told my friend that I was the one who called him for a date. She believed him and hasn't talked to me in years.
My opinion is if telling the truth destroys a friendship, how strong was that friendship to begin with? Thanks for your response, bijou.
Elaine Shuel


shuel2002 65F
5537 posts
4/27/2016 9:40 am
    Quoting  :
That how I feel. Thanks Puzzles.
Elaine Shuel




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