| Blogs > shuel2002 > Speak Your Mind |
|
WHAT MAKES SOMEONE A FRIEND? I was talking to a guy on the phone. I considered him a friend of mine and I still do. Something came up in a conversation and he said he considered me an acquaintance. I was shocked and hurt. He is long distance but has a flat rate plan. He calls me usually about once a week, sometimes a bit more or less. Usually we talk for 2 hours. I have told him things I would only tell friends and he has told me personal things too. When this came up, I asked him what would make me a friend. He said a friend is someone who he would give up his life for. He would protect that friend even at personal risk to his safety. He said he had some friends like that, ones who had been friends with him for over 40 years. During the conversation, he said he suddenly realized he would risk his life for me. He said that perhaps he should be calling those friends his best friends and me his friend. I should add we have only chatted for several months but as I said, I do consider him a friend. Do I let someone be a friend too easily? Do you have to risk your life for someone to be your friend? What do you think?      Elaine Shuel |
|||
3/14/2016 9:03 am |
For me there are several layers of friendship, kind of like peeling the onion. Like many things modern communication is redefining "friend". My personal thoughts are that if the definition needs a lot of clarification and boundaries you 2 most likely don't have enough in common to be close friends. Like God, friendship is something you experience, not learn. Putting one's life at risk is another matter, an individual thing that doesn't necessarily enter into defining friendship. Many, like out first responders, do it routinely as a job while others are paralyzed by fear or self preservation and wouldn't be able to put themselves at risk for anyone including spouses, parents or children. Spiritwoman ^i^
| ||
|
Thank you, emzie.  I agree with your definition of both an acquaintance and a friend.  Elaine Shuel
| ||
|
Thanks Pat. I think he regretted calling me an acquaintance. Elaine Shuel
| ||
|
I think there are friends and then there are FRIENDS. I think that friends here that I have written to personally, do mean more to me than those I just write to on here. That said, I do care for all the friends I met here. There are degrees of friendship. Thanks for your comment, Maggie. Elaine Shuel
| ||
|
For me there are several layers of friendship, kind of like peeling the onion. Like many things modern communication is redefining "friend". My personal thoughts are that if the definition needs a lot of clarification and boundaries you 2 most likely don't have enough in common to be close friends. Like God, friendship is something you experience, not learn. Putting one's life at risk is another matter, an individual thing that doesn't necessarily enter into defining friendship. Many, like out first responders, do it routinely as a job while others are paralyzed by fear or self preservation and wouldn't be able to put themselves at risk for anyone including spouses, parents or children. Elaine Shuel
| ||
|
I agree with Mickey, he has it spot on .
| ||
|
I agree with Mickey, he has it spot on . Elaine Shuel
| ||
|
Thanks Helen. Elaine Shuel
| ||
|
I agree with a lot that has already been written. I tend to use the word 'friend' very loosely... from casual internet friends, to workmate friends, and closer gal & guy pals.
| ||
|
We never met in person but to me, that isn't a necessity. You get to the heart of a person when you talk to them on the phone. Thanks for your comment, JustAFewAgn. Different strokes for different folks. Elaine Shuel
| ||
|
I agree with a few here but as Just4 asked, have you met in person? Personally, I feel anyone I've met online (FB or here) whom I have not met in person, would simply be an acquaintance. Then there are degrees of friendship, i.e. personal (or BFF), close or just another friend. There's no one really that I would risk my life for, unless a close relative (my late hubby) or a perhaps a BFF.
| ||
|
You are right on all counts, Lulu.  Sadly, some friendships that were very close, do run its course. Thanks for your response. Elaine Shuel
| ||
|
I agree with a lot that has already been written. I tend to use the word 'friend' very loosely... from casual internet friends, to workmate friends, and closer gal & guy pals. Thanks.Elaine Shuel
| ||
|
Well, I use the word "friend" in general terms, referred to a person I've met and have a friendship. Maybe we visit each other once in a while or we talk by phone, and share things of our lives. That's why in this site I call "friends" to all who "visit and comment" regularly my blogs. As they share things of their lives, I "feel" as if I know them. I agree there are different levels of friends. Almost always there is usually, at least one, best friend who knows all about you. Trust in dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.(Khalil Gibran)
| ||
|
I agree with a few here but as Just4 asked, have you met in person? Personally, I feel anyone I've met online (FB or here) whom I have not met in person, would simply be an acquaintance. Then there are degrees of friendship, i.e. personal (or BFF), close or just another friend. There's no one really that I would risk my life for, unless a close relative (my late hubby) or a perhaps a BFF. Elaine Shuel
| ||
|
Well, I use the word "friend" in general terms, referred to a person I've met and have a friendship. Maybe we visit each other once in a while or we talk by phone, and share things of our lives. That's why in this site I call "friends" to all who "visit and comment" regularly my blogs. As they share things of their lives, I "feel" as if I know them. I agree there are different levels of friends. Almost always there is usually, at least one, best friend who knows all about you. Elaine Shuel
|
×
×