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MALES OR FEMALES - WHO SENDS THE MOST MIXED MESSAGES? I read this online: When messages do not match they are incongruent and come in various forms: 1. What a person says conflicts with what they said previously. 2. What a person does conflicts with what they did previously. 3. What a person says conflicts with what they do. 4. What a person says conflicts with their body language. Do you feel men or women send the most mixed messages? Do you think you or your significant other does? I think men send the most mixed messages. Some tell you they love you all the time but rarely see you. That is, when you are involved with a workaholic.   Elaine Shuel |
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It's called a lack of communication, and both male and female are guilty of it. Who does it the most? Couldn't say. You say he's a workaholic, so maybe you should ask yourself, or him, what he loves more, his job, or you? I feel our lack of communication, or even the art of it has become a thing of the past. I'm not meaning to sound cold Elaine, but just saying if you don't understand what a person is saying, or why he says one thing, but does another, we aren't mind readers, we have to verbally straighten out mixed messages, or else it's just all guess work.
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It's called a lack of communication, and both male and female are guilty of it. Who does it the most? Couldn't say. You say he's a workaholic, so maybe you should ask yourself, or him, what he loves more, his job, or you? I feel our lack of communication, or even the art of it has become a thing of the past. I'm not meaning to sound cold Elaine, but just saying if you don't understand what a person is saying, or why he says one thing, but does another, we aren't mind readers, we have to verbally straighten out mixed messages, or else it's just all guess work.  Elaine Shuel
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I think being with a workaholic is very difficult. It's hard to leave someone who you love and who loves you back. He's done things over the years that shows how much he loves me but I wish we spent more time together. Elaine Shuel
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I agree with you, RosesLady. If I read minds, I'd be rich. Thanks for your comment. Elaine Shuel
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Thankfully men are now beginning to realize that it isn't unmanly to communicate one's feelings. That's progress. Thanks for your valid comment, Lulu. Elaine Shuel
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That was an interesting response, Liszt. I will have to ponder it further, but it's true that men say less, generally speaking. I dislike 2 faced people, like the women you just described. I think that could be true of either sex though. I had a boss that always seemed wonderful until he stabbed me in the back. Thanks for your comment. Elaine Shuel
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Hi Elaine, another great blog topic. Personally, I am too detail-oriented, so ambiguity has no place in my world. If I sense a disconnect, I will immediately approach and solve it. From my experience, women emit slightly more mixed signals than men; however, seasoned gentlemen are capable of keeping their focus on the real prize. Elaine Shuel
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You're lucky that you married men that are good at communicating, Pat. My boyfriend keeps things to himself. My boyfriend says he loves me and I say that for someone who loves me, he doesn't see me often. He says he has to get the work done and doesn't like doing it. He says it has to be done. That's life, I guess. It's not like I never asked my boyfriend so we do communicate. Elaine Shuel
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I agree Lulu. Some people are great at fooling people with their body language. Elaine Shuel
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I find that women who say they are compassionate and understanding are anything but. They are presumptuous, careless with their words, manipulative and unwilling to take responsibility for their own shortcomings. I can see compassion and feel understanding and I can spot a manipulator a mile away. Elaine Shuel
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6/1/2015 9:59 am |
Late response but I always go with my feelings. As for your specific situation work and love of another can be 2 entirely different matters. One of the tech gurus, I think it was Bill Gates, commented that one of the benefits of marriage was that dating took up too much time. When he was married he could devote that time to work. Your BF could very well be sincere about loving you as he sees loving anyone. He loves you in the way he sees love. He could just have a different priority system. You need to decide of it works for you. Being a free spirited artistic type I prefer those relationships that allow my lots of separate time to pursue my interests but always end up with partners who want them 24/7 bonded at the kind of relationship. For me it involves compromise. In my case I think that my intensity of passion and depth of feeling and enthusiasm about life may be interpreted as far narrower than it is. Example - I am swim with a passion for the feeling of freedom being semi free from gravity gives me, the feeling of the water gliding past all of my body, the complete oneness with my environment being surrounded by water gives me and the endomorphins it created. It has nothing to do with my romantic or sexual feelings. Spiritwoman ^i^
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Late response but I always go with my feelings. As for your specific situation work and love of another can be 2 entirely different matters. One of the tech gurus, I think it was Bill Gates, commented that one of the benefits of marriage was that dating took up too much time. When he was married he could devote that time to work. Your BF could very well be sincere about loving you as he sees loving anyone. He loves you in the way he sees love. He could just have a different priority system. You need to decide of it works for you. Being a free spirited artistic type I prefer those relationships that allow my lots of separate time to pursue my interests but always end up with partners who want them 24/7 bonded at the kind of relationship. For me it involves compromise. In my case I think that my intensity of passion and depth of feeling and enthusiasm about life may be interpreted as far narrower than it is. Example - I am swim with a passion for the feeling of freedom being semi free from gravity gives me, the feeling of the water gliding past all of my body, the complete oneness with my environment being surrounded by water gives me and the endomorphins it created. It has nothing to do with my romantic or sexual feelings. Thanks very much for your comment. It was worth waiting for. Elaine Shuel
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6/2/2015 6:55 am |
The reason the messages we send out may be mixed is because we don't want to deal with the blowback of honesty. Every woman says she wants openness and honesty in a relationship. But in my experience clarity and honesty usually cause me a lot of grief that I would prefer to avoid.
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The reason the messages we send out may be mixed is because we don't want to deal with the blowback of honesty. Every woman says she wants openness and honesty in a relationship. But in my experience clarity and honesty usually cause me a lot of grief that I would prefer to avoid. Elaine Shuel
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6/3/2015 5:53 am |
There is no doubt that some can't handle honesty. I can see your point if that's the experiences you've had, Rentier1. Thanks for your comment.
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That's my experience with every woman except for one. Elaine Shuel
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