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IS THIS TOO UNCOMFORTABLE TO ANSWER? I wanted to know, would you or have you ever cheated on a significant other? Has anyone cheated on you? If you have, would you do it again? I was thinking that some might not wish to answer this. I understand if you don't. It's up to you. I always say to my boyfriend, I can't cheat. First of all, I am a Virgo and I was born the year of the dog. That stands for loyalty and faithfulness. Secondly, I'm an upfront person so going around lying to any guy I am in a relationship with, wouldn't work. I would feel weird doing that. I also strongly believe in doing unto others as I want done to me. How could I do that to someone, when I don't want it done to me? The nature of my jobs has made it that I've had more offers than most. So, I've definitely been tested and passed. Now what I also learned is everything isn't black and white. My boyfriend is a workaholic and I have broken on and off with him because of it. I said to him many times that it does make me see how someone could cheat. I haven't but I could understand how a neglected partner might consider it. In the case of someone not living together, I really believe one should just break off if it gets to the point of WANTING to cheat. When a couple is married or has , it's more complicated. Besides the cheating aspect, what disturbs me is that someone who cheats is endangering the life of their partner. There are diseases that are not readily detected and some that can be easily discovered during a blood test. Either way, it would be heartbreaking to discover someone not only cheated on you but also gave you a disease. If I've said too much, I'm sorry. Elaine Shuel |
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What do you have to be sorry for? No worries.  I was always content with who I was with, I never felt the need to cheat. My first cheated on me, broke my heart, I got over it, didn't date for almost 2 years after that. Second husband cheated after our daughter was born, his excuse was I took our weekends that we should spend time together doing housework and laundry, he said I didn't have time for him. I worked full time, if he wanted that stuff all done before the weekend, he could of helped, I would have liked to enjoy my days off as well. JERK!!! So no, I don't cheat, heck, what for?
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My first husband cheated.... and no, they don't care at all what diseases they might bring back.
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What do you have to be sorry for? No worries. I was always content with who I was with, I never felt the need to cheat. My first cheated on me, broke my heart, I got over it, didn't date for almost 2 years after that. Second husband cheated after our daughter was born, his excuse was I took our weekends that we should spend time together doing housework and laundry, he said I didn't have time for him. I worked full time, if he wanted that stuff all done before the weekend, he could of helped, I would have liked to enjoy my days off as well. JERK!!! So no, I don't cheat, heck, what for? Sorry about your husbands. You're too nice to be treated that way, Rae. Thanks as always, for writing on my post. Elaine Shuel
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My first husband cheated.... and no, they don't care at all what diseases they might bring back.  Like Rae, I'm glad you're done with him.Elaine Shuel
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4/9/2015 5:36 pm |
I'll be interested to see if any of those whom have "cheated" will respond. In my experience is "cheating" is a symptom of many other possible problems with either one or both of the individuals or with the relationship. Cheating is so emotional that it almost impossible to get beyond it and identify and address the larger issue. Spiritwoman ^i^
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I'll be interested to see if any of those whom have "cheated" will respond. In my experience is "cheating" is a symptom of many other possible problems with either one or both of the individuals or with the relationship. Cheating is so emotional that it almost impossible to get beyond it and identify and address the larger issue. Elaine Shuel
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I am way to honest to cheat even if I wanted to. When I had a steady boyfriend I never cheated. I kind of figured they would find out like maybe the expression on my face. Most excuses of men who cheat is they were bored they aren't getting any s** and they just cannot live without it. Maybe they should have sat down and discussed it and determined what the problem was. Some men say women are frigid. But perhaps there is a reason for that like a medical reason or something else. I have talked to many guys over the years and they all seem to have the same pathetic reason for cheating.
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I am way to honest to cheat even if I wanted to. When I had a steady boyfriend I never cheated. I kind of figured they would find out like maybe the expression on my face. Most excuses of men who cheat is they were bored they aren't getting any s** and they just cannot live without it. Maybe they should have sat down and discussed it and determined what the problem was. Some men say women are frigid. But perhaps there is a reason for that like a medical reason or something else. I have talked to many guys over the years and they all seem to have the same pathetic reason for cheating. I wouldn't be able to cheat either. My boyfriend and I discussed this near the beginning of our relationship. We sort of made a pact that if either of us ever wanted to see someone else, we would break off first. Nothing would be done behind the other's back. Thanks for your comment. Elaine Shuel
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What a wonderful answer. Where are all the men like you in this world, alpha2000? You have a very lucky wife. Thanks so much for your great answer. Elaine Shuel
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Rosie, your answer reminded me of something that happened to me in high school. I wrote a chemistry exam and afterwards a guy that sat right behind me whispered "thank you". It turns out he copied my answers. That's not something I would ever do. With my luck, the person would have failed and so would I.  I don't know how I would handle being cheated on. I doubt I would handle it well and I never want to find out if I'm right about that. Thanks for your response. Elaine Shuel
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It's big of you to admit that you have cheated, Dan. I respect you for that. Thanks for your candid reply. Elaine Shuel
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4/10/2015 12:34 am |
Hi Elaine: Cheating is one thing I could never forgive or forget. I would never trust the person again. I consider flirting and staring at other women cheating too. I've never been unfaithful or flirted, and don't think anyone has been unfaithful to me. I think people who cheat and flirt are not happy in their relationship and are trying to line up a new partner before they leave the old partner.
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You sure have some interesting blog topics Elaine. I believed in marriage and my vows so I tried with everything I had to make it work. My ex cheated and cried and cheated. For twenty years. Each time was going to be the last. Crying and on his knees and lots of marriage counseling. He didn't want the divorce. I didn't either. But I deserved to be respected. If he didn't respect me-- I had to respect myself. I told his girlfriend -- it was her turn to be the "Lucky" woman to a man who was too selfish to love me enough to give back to me what I gave him. I call her "Justice" Now I love myself. I respect my man and I expect him to show me the same respect. It's a simple rule. If it's too hard for him. If he cheats-- there is no room for love from either of us. I will never cheat. There are no gray areas when it comes to cheating for me. Everyone deserves to be respected. I'm glad he's out of your life. Thanks for your compliment and comment. Elaine Shuel
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Hi Elaine: Cheating is one thing I could never forgive or forget. I would never trust the person again. I consider flirting and staring at other women cheating too. I've never been unfaithful or flirted, and don't think anyone has been unfaithful to me. I think people who cheat and flirt are not happy in their relationship and are trying to line up a new partner before they leave the old partner. I wouldn't want my boyfriend flirting with other women. I haven't noticed him staring at any either but he is human. If I saw a very handsome man, I would certainly look. I think perhaps you meant more than just glancing at the person.Elaine Shuel
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Exactly, Helen. That's why there is no reason to actually cheat. If/when you feel like cheating, it means you should break up. Thanks for your great comment. Elaine Shuel
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I love your response. Thanks Dan. It's nice to see someone who has found his way and has changed for the better. Elaine Shuel
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