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HAVE YOU HAD MORE THAN ONE "SOUL MATE"? When I met my boyfriend, he told me about when he was in his early 20s and got engaged. His fiance got ill and died within 6 months. They never made it to the altar. He took a long time before dating again. I fell in love with him but I've always wondered about how he feels. I know he loves me, it's not that. I can't tell you how much I wish things had been different for him. I wish he and his fiance had married and had , like they both wanted and deserved. I would not have met him but he would have had a very happy life. I would have wanted that for him. The other side of me knows that she will always be his first love. His thoughts of her, will always be the unfulfilled dream that he never got to live. When I'm feeling insecure, it does bother me. He gave me a beautiful figurine for Valentine's Day called Soul Mates. The first picture doesn't do it justice. He said we're soul mates and said I know him better than anyone ever has. He's written me love poems. It's probably just my insecurity, but it's hard to love someone who lost someone they loved. Have you loved more than one person in your life and felt they were each your soul mate? By the way, soul mate or soulmate? I looked it up and it seems both are acceptable.  Elaine Shuel |
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I think I have only truly loved two men in my life. There have been other men who I cared about but there wasn't that connection when you really love someone. Only recently I discovered by accident on the Internet that one of them passed away 4 years ago. I thought he would live a long life but that wasn't meant to be. Even though I hadn't seen him in a very long time I felt a part of my life was gone.
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Yes I have, three very special people in my life. But to be honest and I don't mean to dilute the deep meaning of soul mate at all....I have a different concept of what a soul mate is today. I married only one of the soul mates. While no longer married, I've come to feel that the only true soul mate would be someone that is my astrological perfect match. Whether you believe it or not, the traits that make up this 'dream' would in fact represent a perfect match for me...the kind of person I would be madly in love with. Unfortunately I have never had the pleasure of being involved with a person of this magical sign for me. I can honestly say however, that of all the signs I can identify with people who most definitely fit the personality profile of their sign in many ways indeed. Nothing can substitute for what your personality needs...  I can't say that I go by astrological information, though I do have that book on what signs go with what signs romantically. The thing is that I'm a Virgo and I write erotica. It would be hard for me to take everything as being factual, given I don't exactly fit the mold. I guess everyone does have a different concept of what a soul mate means. To me, it's someone that sees life the way I do. He can understand me at a level that others won't. We want the same things, more or less. We see eye-to-eye. That does describe my relationship with my boyfriend. Elaine Shuel
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I think I have only truly loved two men in my life. There have been other men who I cared about but there wasn't that connection when you really love someone. Only recently I discovered by accident on the Internet that one of them passed away 4 years ago. I thought he would live a long life but that wasn't meant to be. Even though I hadn't seen him in a very long time I felt a part of my life was gone. Elaine Shuel
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Frankly, I wouldn't worry about your guy pal's first love. It was a tragedy for sure, but long ago. I've found that the longer a person is dead, the more we remember the great times, stacking halos,...and any not so good habits or events fade. Ahhhh..... soulmates!!! I think that the definition of the term 'soulmate' is very broad, and a bit like trying to nail jelly to the wall. I think that we bond with certain people for different reasons, so we can have more than one soulmate.
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3/26/2015 5:35 pm |
I have had multiple loves in my life. Each was different, each special and each will always have their special place in my heart and memory. Soul mate, in it's current use limits the term to special romantic relationships. It is actually a spiritual term referring to souls who go through eternity together. They are always significant people in each life but not necessarily romantic partners. To many details for here but it is a perfect subject for the forum part of my personal website. I'm trying to get that section going. Check it out intone next couple of days and I should have something up. If anyone else is interested contact me for info. I'm also on FB Spiritwoman ^i^
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I've only had one soul mate, and he died when I was 23, there hasn't been another like him. Not saying that there isn't another soul mate out there for me, I'm just not looking, guess I'm getting lazy. 
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Frankly, I wouldn't worry about your guy pal's first love. It was a tragedy for sure, but long ago. I've found that the longer a person is dead, the more we remember the great times, stacking halos,...and any not so good habits or events fade. Ahhhh..... soulmates!!! I think that the definition of the term 'soulmate' is very broad, and a bit like trying to nail jelly to the wall. I think that we bond with certain people for different reasons, so we can have more than one soulmate. I'd like to think that's the case, that she's his past but I'm his present and future. The problem is that she sounded like a really wonderful person. I feel for both of them, even though she's gone. He has been my only soul mate but your answer makes sense to me.  Elaine Shuel
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Thanks Rosie. We do love each other. Anyone would be lucky if you found them. Elaine Shuel
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I have had multiple loves in my life. Each was different, each special and each will always have their special place in my heart and memory. Soul mate, in it's current use limits the term to special romantic relationships. It is actually a spiritual term referring to souls who go through eternity together. They are always significant people in each life but not necessarily romantic partners. To many details for here but it is a perfect subject for the forum part of my personal website. I'm trying to get that section going. Check it out intone next couple of days and I should have something up. If anyone else is interested contact me for info. I'm also on FB Elaine Shuel
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I've only had one soul mate, and he died when I was 23, there hasn't been another like him. Not saying that there isn't another soul mate out there for me, I'm just not looking, guess I'm getting lazy. Thanks for your comment.Elaine Shuel
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Love and having a soul mate isn't necessarily the same thing, Bill. At least not to me. For example, I was totally in love with my first boyfriend but we weren't soul mates. His ideas and his lifestyle and pretty much everything about him, was the polar opposite of mine. My present boyfriend is my soul mate. We are on the same wavelength. I do agree about never forgetting your old love. I haven't forgotten mine and he hasn't forgotten his. I wouldn't expect anyone to ever forget. There will always be a part in your heart for everyone that touched it. Thanks for you comment, Bill. Elaine Shuel
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3/27/2015 3:16 am |
Hi Shuel: My second husband and I often said we must be each other's soul mate. Even after several years together I would have picked him if I had to choose one person to be stranded with on a deserted island. Still the marriage didn't last. The problem with losing a man I felt that way about is that I compare him to every other man I meet and they all just seem like too much work.
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That's great, Bob. I had no idea you met and married someone from SFF. Do I know her? Thanks very much for your comment. Elaine Shuel
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Hi Shuel: My second husband and I often said we must be each other's soul mate. Even after several years together I would have picked him if I had to choose one person to be stranded with on a deserted island. Still the marriage didn't last. The problem with losing a man I felt that way about is that I compare him to every other man I meet and they all just seem like too much work. Elaine Shuel
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Thanks Mary Ann. I guess my insecurity is based on how long my boyfriend took to date again. Also, he's very much a one woman man. Even though they never married, there is a part of me that will always feel like I can't measure up to her. I know it's my issue and I try not to think about it. Thanks for your support. Elaine Shuel
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That's a great philosophy, TxJW2. I believe my boyfriend feels the same. It's just hard to compete with a ghost (even if it's in my own head). Elaine Shuel
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It's great that you found Joe, after losing your first husband, Pat. To me a soul mate isn't just about loving someone. It's feeling romantic for someone that has the same outlook on life and things as you do. I loved my first boyfriend and thought he would be my one and only. He however, was not my soul mate. Perhaps some see being in love means a soul mate. By my understanding of what a soul mate means, the two don't necessarily go together. Thanks for your input on this post. Elaine Shuel
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Dear Elaine Shuel,, You recently criticized me for as you said "wanting a blow job", Elaine nothing could be farther from the truth, and I would like to talk with you. I am also from Toronto, I live in the Beach area on Columbine Avenue.. I now live in Mexico but may be returning to Toronto for a visit.. That said your photo reminds me of a wonderful Jewish woman that lived in the Leslie and Finch area. We had a fantastic relationship for about 8 years. Like you she had a few extra pounds and together we discovered an erotic position that enabled us to make intimate, very intimate and exciting love for hours and hours. Perhaps you would like to have more details, it would make a very informative story. I hope to hear from you, Arnold You are incorrect. It wasn't my comment that said about "wanting a blow job". Last I checked, you deleted the comments that I saw up before. PLEASE make sure that when you quote someone, you are quoting the correct person.I said something about the fact my erotica got banned here. I didn't expect your post to stay up. I also said welcome to SFF blogging and that I've met some wonderful people. I appreciate you trying to improve my sex life but don't be concerned. My boyfriend and I are doing just fine in that department. Elaine Shuel
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Hi you made a nasty comment on my blog, ^^ about wanting a blow job^^ I felt offend and quickly removed it but later thought that I should talk with you....I`m not what you thought...and in retrospect perhaps you are not what I thought ???? Perhaps you should take some time to understand and write about it. Sex can be wham bam...or it can be a beautiful emotional experience, a special romantic experience between two people....an experience the lingers in the mind for a day or forever. If you are a writer, you know what I mean. Best Regards Arnold I am fully aware about how sex could be, thanks. Elaine Shuel
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