| Blogs > shuel2002 > Speak Your Mind |
|
SHOULDN'T A WOMAN BE ABLE TO PROPOSE MARRIAGE TO A MAN? I read an article about Bradley Cooper, the actor, yesterday. Something bothered me about it. It said: "It's up to Bradley to pop the question, of course, but she hopes it happens soon," That got me thinking. Is it always up to the guy to pop the question? It reminds me of the old fashioned way, that a woman had to be asked to dance by a guy. Haven't things changed at all? What are your thoughts about this? I think there is a fear of rejection that she may propose and he'll refuse? Fair enough, but don't men have that same fear? Not all marriage proposals are accepted, are they? If they were, they wouldn't be called proposals. Elaine Shuel |
|||
|
Now why is there the "instinctual urge to flee" for a man and not a woman, Dan? I think that some women might feel uncomfortable if they aren't ready to get married yet or to the guy that proposed. There is absolutely nothing wrong with tradition, but it should be fine if a woman gets to it first. Thanks Dan.  Elaine Shuel
| ||
3/20/2015 12:41 pm |
I won't be dong any proposing and hope and pray the man in my life doesn't either but if I wanted to get married and knew my partner well enough to be at this stage on the relationship I would not hesitate to do the asking. I would hope that by the time a relationship, gets to this stage both people know each other well enough that both of them would feel comfortable both giving and receiving a proposal. Spiritwoman ^i^
| ||
|
I guess most of grew up thinking that the man should propose. I am not sure I would be one for proposing but I definitely think that every couple is different and it should be different strokes for different folks. I think whatever you are comfortable with. Maybe I miss out on some things in life because I am a bit old fashioned in my thinking. Sometimes a woman has to take the bull by the horn.
| ||
|
Sure, why not? Once she finds out he doesn't want to spend the rest of her life with him, she can dump him!! Yes, it might hurt her feelings if he says no, but it's better than dragging it out for a year, or two, or 5.
| ||
|
I would think that in this day and age some girls do actually pop the question themselves and rightly so too. In my day it was almost unheard of and very rarely happened, if ever.
| ||
|
I'm not sure that men have an urge to flee. For some reason, our society has perpetuated that myth with casual remarks which usually include the idea that 'she finally caught him'. I think that on the whole, men are comfortable with the status quo and the thought of messing with it doesn't cross their minds. Men are not mind readers. If a women wants to advance the relationship to marriage, she needs to say so......imho.
| ||
|
Yes I understand that could happen, Dan. However, when a man proposes, a woman is on that same spot. Elaine Shuel
| ||
|
I won't be dong any proposing and hope and pray the man in my life doesn't either but if I wanted to get married and knew my partner well enough to be at this stage on the relationship I would not hesitate to do the asking. I would hope that by the time a relationship, gets to this stage both people know each other well enough that both of them would feel comfortable both giving and receiving a proposal.  That's exactly what I feel. Both parties should feel it that the time is right, and either party should be able to ask.Elaine Shuel
| ||
|
I guess most of grew up thinking that the man should propose. I am not sure I would be one for proposing but I definitely think that every couple is different and it should be different strokes for different folks. I think whatever you are comfortable with. Maybe I miss out on some things in life because I am a bit old fashioned in my thinking. Sometimes a woman has to take the bull by the horn. The point is that if a woman wants to propose, why should she have to wait until the man does it?Elaine Shuel
| ||
|
Sure, why not? Once she finds out he doesn't want to spend the rest of her life with him, she can dump him!! Yes, it might hurt her feelings if he says no, but it's better than dragging it out for a year, or two, or 5.
| ||
|
Sure, why not? Once she finds out he doesn't want to spend the rest of her life with him, she can dump him!! Yes, it might hurt her feelings if he says no, but it's better than dragging it out for a year, or two, or 5. Elaine Shuel
| ||
|
Nooooooooooo Care to elaborate?Elaine Shuel
| ||
|
I would think that in this day and age some girls do actually pop the question themselves and rightly so too. In my day it was almost unheard of and very rarely happened, if ever. Elaine Shuel
| ||
|
I'm not sure that men have an urge to flee. For some reason, our society has perpetuated that myth with casual remarks which usually include the idea that 'she finally caught him'. I think that on the whole, men are comfortable with the status quo and the thought of messing with it doesn't cross their minds. Men are not mind readers. If a women wants to advance the relationship to marriage, she needs to say so......imho.  Thanks for your response. Elaine Shuel
| ||
|
Oops. lol, should be "spend the rest of his life with her". Elaine Shuel
| ||
|
You were ahead of your time, Pat. Good for you, proposing to your first husband!!! That must have been really special at that SFF luncheon. It's a good thing I wasn't there. I probably would have cried. Elaine Shuel
| ||
|
That's great, RosesLady. More women should be like you. You know what you want and you go for it. Thanks for your comment. Elaine Shuel
| ||
3/21/2015 12:02 pm |
Hi Elaine: I wonder who started the unspoken rule that only the engaged women gets a diamond engagement ring? I have been married twice and engaged several other times and have a collection of rings. The law is that if the wedding doesn't take place the woman has to return the engagement ring to the man, but my exes always said they wanted me to keep the ring. I love all the rings as I picked out most of them myself, but never wear them as they just remind me of another failed relationship. To answer your question, of course the woman has every right to propose, but maybe in our age group that doesn't happen a lot.
| ||
|
Hi Elaine: I wonder who started the unspoken rule that only the engaged women gets a diamond engagement ring? I have been married twice and engaged several other times and have a collection of rings. The law is that if the wedding doesn't take place the woman has to return the engagement ring to the man, but my exes always said they wanted me to keep the ring. I love all the rings as I picked out most of them myself, but never wear them as they just remind me of another failed relationship. To answer your question, of course the woman has every right to propose, but maybe in our age group that doesn't happen a lot. Elaine Shuel
| ||
|
That's actually the point, Dan. Why should a woman have to "secretly hope" he proposes and waits, whereas a man just proposes when he feels ready to? Thanks for your response. Elaine Shuel
| ||
3/21/2015 9:11 pm |
It happened to me once. I said 'no'.
| ||
|
It happened to me once. I said 'no'.  Thanks Rentier1.Elaine Shuel
| ||
3/21/2015 11:49 pm |
Hi Elaine: Reading Rentier's reply it reminded me of the first time I ever asked a man to dance. I was sitting with three friends, got up and walked over to a man sitting with a couple of his friends. I asked him if he'd like to dance, he turned his head and looked me up and down, then said No Thank You. Aaargh, how embarrassing. Never did that again.
| ||
|
Hi Elaine: Reading Rentier's reply it reminded me of the first time I ever asked a man to dance. I was sitting with three friends, got up and walked over to a man sitting with a couple of his friends. I asked him if he'd like to dance, he turned his head and looked me up and down, then said No Thank You. Aaargh, how embarrassing. Never did that again. I never did that. On the other hand, keep in mind that men usually do the asking, and they have to get used to rejection. It must be hard. Thanks for your comment. Elaine Shuel
|
×
×