Close Please enter your Username and Password


Maisie2013 67F
30472 posts
2/7/2019 6:35 am
Guilt vs Responsibility , the final analysis


I see that my pointing out how nonproductive guilt is, has generated some issues with the less analytical. Allow me to clarify what most psychologists will tell you.

Guilt is a feeling. It is not a to action to change what caused one to feel guilty to start with. Without action, guilt can go as far as to dominate life. You can sit around wallow in your guilt, thereby excusing yourself from changing your behavior. OR you can accept responsibility for your actions and change them , if you chose.

" The difference between guilt and responsibility is more than an abstract moral distinction; it has a definite psychological reality that profoundly affects our behavior and our well being. On a gut emotional level, it is the difference between personal power and chronic powerlessness. Emotional pollution has made us view guilt not as a result of violating our own values but as something done to us by others. Thus we have expressions like, "Don't guilt me," and, "She's laying a guilt trip on me." Steven Stosny, Ph.D.

Creating excuses and blaming others do not change behavior, but make us angry and defensive. In a study of domestic abuse " help " groups about 30 years ago, researchers found the groups only made the abusers worse. The clients were not permitted to give any context for their behavior because that was "making excuses, justifying, and trying to blame the victim." The counselors had good intentions, but the unintended side effect was devastating, They tried to control what their clients thought as well as how they felt and behaved, by dismissing their perspectives and manipulating their guilt, shame, and fear of consequences. In other words, attempting to pin guilt alone, and thinking that will change behavior, didn't work.

So basically, it all comes down to us. You can sit around and " feel guilty" and repeat the same actions again and again. Or you can step up, be responsible and choose to change your behavior. Or not. It's up to you. This is what we should be teaching our children- not " Shame, shame, go sit in the corner".


Maisie2013 67F
19149 posts
2/7/2019 6:36 am

Calvin : There’s no problem so awful, that you cant add some guilt to it and make it even worse.
Bill Watterson (Cartoonist of Calvin and Hobbes)


Maisie2013 67F
19149 posts
2/7/2019 6:46 am

When my son was about 9 , he and his friends were roughhousing and broke a lamp. He apologized, and said he was sorry. Then I asked him what he was going to do about it. He said he hadn't thought of that. I told him to send his friends home, go to his room, and think about it.
He came out later and said he would pay for lamp, and not let those friends act up like that again. I think I added a few days grounded , also. It didn't happen again.
This is not a " aren't I a great parent" story, ( although he did turn out to be a marvelous adult ) but a cautionary tale about not stopping at guilt or remorse, but also teaching remedy.
When we were kids , we just got sent to our rooms, with no feedback or discussion allowed. That was the 50's way- make them feel bad and send them to their rooms.


MrsJoe 71F
10457 posts
2/7/2019 7:28 am

Even without feeling guilty, people have to take responsibility for their actions.
In some of the present situations we are seeing, I am amazed though, how people can be held accountable for what they did decades ago, that was acceptable at that time, but not now. How is one supposed to feel "guilty" for those actions?


For me to be upset by your criticism, I must first value your opinion.


Maisie2013 67F
19149 posts
2/7/2019 7:39 am

    Quoting MrsJoe:
    Even without feeling guilty, people have to take responsibility for their actions.
    In some of the present situations we are seeing, I am amazed though, how people can be held accountable for what they did decades ago, that was acceptable at that time, but not now. How is one supposed to feel "guilty" for those actions?
I am sure some relative of mine, somewhere back , did something wrong, but why on earth would I apologize for it? This has gone from a government apologizing for things done to a certain group , like FDR interring Japanese-Americans, to everyone having to apologize for their immutable characteristic, being white for example. That is just as random and accidental than any other skin color, height, etc, one was born with.
Identity politics is the last refuge of those who have no ideas.


sparkleflit 71F
4292 posts
2/7/2019 7:39 am

Always a zero-sum game with you........It's very possible to feel guilt and still be responsible for one's actions and make recompense for wrong doing. One doesn't cancel out the other. Most of us taught our children by giving them consequences......you are not unique in that......Having feelings is a normal part of being Human and guilt is one of the many possible feelings Humans have......especially in a religious up-bringing.........Feelings of guilt can precede or accompany making amends.......It's not always possible to find a way to adequately assuage feelings of guilt........

Several years ago, I had a back injury that was very painful and I was very delicate for weeks. My 4 year-old grandson was told this by both me and his parents and that he couldn't jump on Nana or rough-house like we usually did. One day, he got excited and forgot and jumped [into my arms in a way that caused me a great deal of pain and I screamed and dropped him on the floor............He felt so bad.....he was just expressing his enthusiasm to see me......he just forgot.......he felt terrible......he felt guilty for weeks......There was nothing he could do to rectify his mistake.......I reassured him over and over that It was an honest mistake and I forgave him, as did his parents, but he still felt guilty........It's a part of the Human Condition that we all have to deal with and work out........


Maisie2013 67F
19149 posts
2/7/2019 7:46 am

Let me add a wrinkle- Forcing the future generations into Venezuela -like poverty by the new little Socialist club, because of what the US did in the past, never once stopping to notice that the US is reducing their emission by a huge number. This is about their Green New Deal.
The resolution, obtained by NPR, says the U.S. “has historically been responsible for a disproportionate amount of greenhouse gas emissions” and calls for the U.S. to take a “leading role in reducing emissions through economic transformation.”

Now let's carry that guilt throwing out to its logical conclusion. While much of India, was not nearly the industrial powerhouse the US was, in the past, they get to pollute as much as possible- all the name of fairness, of course.


Maisie2013 67F
19149 posts
2/7/2019 7:50 am

    Quoting sparkleflit:
    Always a zero-sum game with you........It's very possible to feel guilt and still be responsible for one's actions and make recompense for wrong doing. One doesn't cancel out the other. Most of us taught our children by giving them consequences......you are not unique in that......Having feelings is a normal part of being Human and guilt is one of the many possible feelings Humans have......especially in a religious up-bringing.........Feelings of guilt can precede or accompany making amends.......It's not always possible to find a way to adequately assuage feelings of guilt........

    Several years ago, I had a back injury that was very painful and I was very delicate for weeks. My 4 year-old grandson was told this by both me and his parents and that he couldn't jump on Nana or rough-house like we usually did. One day, he got excited and forgot and jumped [into my arms in a way that caused me a great deal of pain and I screamed and dropped him on the floor............He felt so bad.....he was just expressing his enthusiasm to see me......he just forgot.......he felt terrible......he felt guilty for weeks......There was nothing he could do to rectify his mistake.......I reassured him over and over that It was an honest mistake and I forgave him, as did his parents, but he still felt guilty........It's a part of the Human Condition that we all have to deal with and work out........
I never said it was a zero sum, or an either or. I said to stop at guilt and not accept responsibility is nonproductive. You make my point for me.


jiminycricket1 69M
10377 posts
2/7/2019 7:56 am

We see the idea of feeling guilty differently...You don't see it as personal..

The abusers in the study... and most men in general, "feel guilt" but don't express guilt. It guilt they will try, and sometimes fail, to work out themselves..Most men dealing with feeling guilty.. don't want help..they just would like it to stop.

Feeling guilty for the most part in singular to the event...and the single decision process leading to that event...being guilt ridden can lead to other problems.. Being guilt ridden is almost never personal.....It's social...A person is almost not capable of becoming guilt ridden on his/her own...I was talking guilt as it relates to the sense of responsibility.. Not guilt as a punishment.

The study was doomed to failure...AS it would be in any relationships...Woman especially fail to understand.. People who lack empathy, People who don't feel it, don't understand it, and who NEVER feel guilty.. have a real problem dealing with people who do..
In the study and in the any relationship......IT NEVER works to try and pile on guilt, or to use guilt to change a behavior
Absolutely the worst thing to do to someone who already "feels guilty"... and a meaningless thing to do to someone who doesn't... especially for men it doesn't work...Yet some women, can't help themselves, their anger about an event.. shows up by trying to pile on guilt....It NEVER WORKS
your actions with your son...was the right thing to do..not to pile on guilt..I would think when the lamp broke.. you son knew it wasn't the right thing to do, he didn't rejoice in it happening.. At that moment he had the feeling of guilt ....and THEN you were smart enough not to pile it on...
but here's the deal.. I would bet..You wouldn't have a problem piling it on other people..I would bet that... because I know, with other people, you'd never feel guilty doing it.


Maisie2013 67F
19149 posts
2/7/2019 8:23 am

    Quoting jiminycricket1:
    We see the idea of feeling guilty differently...You don't see it as personal..

    The abusers in the study... and most men in general, "feel guilt" but don't express guilt. It guilt they will try, and sometimes fail, to work out themselves..Most men dealing with feeling guilty.. don't want help..they just would like it to stop.

    Feeling guilty for the most part in singular to the event...and the single decision process leading to that event...being guilt ridden can lead to other problems.. Being guilt ridden is almost never personal.....It's social...A person is almost not capable of becoming guilt ridden on his/her own...I was talking guilt as it relates to the sense of responsibility.. Not guilt as a punishment.

    The study was doomed to failure...AS it would be in any relationships...Woman especially fail to understand.. People who lack empathy, People who don't feel it, don't understand it, and who NEVER feel guilty.. have a real problem dealing with people who do..
    In the study and in the any relationship......IT NEVER works to try and pile on guilt, or to use guilt to change a behavior
    Absolutely the worst thing to do to someone who already "feels guilty"... and a meaningless thing to do to someone who doesn't... especially for men it doesn't work...Yet some women, can't help themselves, their anger about an event.. shows up by trying to pile on guilt....It NEVER WORKS
    your actions with your son...was the right thing to do..not to pile on guilt..I would think when the lamp broke.. you son knew it wasn't the right thing to do, he didn't rejoice in it happening.. At that moment he had the feeling of guilt ....and THEN you were smart enough not to pile it on...
    but here's the deal.. I would bet..You wouldn't have a problem piling it on other people..I would bet that... because I know, with other people, you'd never feel guilty doing it.
Did you have a jewish mother?

In case the reference is lost on some, guilt throwing is always a Jewish Mother joke

What did the Jewish Mother ATM say to her customer?
A: You never write, you never call and you only visit me when you need money.
Jewish mother thinking:
Is one Nobel Prize
So much to ask from a child
After all I've done?


Katie_au_lait 73F
6412 posts
2/7/2019 8:48 am

"but here's the deal.. I would bet..You wouldn't have a problem piling it on other people..I would bet that... because I know, with other people, you'd never feel guilty doing it."

Well said Jiminy!
Maisie spends all her time desperately trying to lay guilt trips on everyone who doesn't think or vote as she does. She feels no guilt simply because she has no understanding of what guilt and conscience really are.

It doesn't say much for her understanding of the various freedoms Humans have... to her, she's "perfect" and those who have a different point of view are just so much sewage.


Katie_au_lait 73F
6412 posts
2/7/2019 8:57 am

    Quoting Maisie2013:
    I never said it was a zero sum, or an either or. I said to stop at guilt and not accept responsibility is nonproductive. You make my point for me.
So, that's what you are doing when you blame Democrats, Muslims and Mexicans for all the evils in the world?


Katie_au_lait 73F
6412 posts
2/7/2019 9:00 am

Oh...I forgot the Jewish mothers!


jiminycricket1 69M
10377 posts
2/7/2019 9:20 am

Women...especially have a problem dealing with men about feeling guilty..

There are two types of men about feeling guilty...... Some that will and some that won't..

The ones that won't.. women need to run away as fast as they can...It's hopeless.

The problem comes with the ones that do...women need to realize...that the feeling of guilt works it's own magic..and it doesn't need your help...In fact, it's works just the opposite..as women think..
As soon women tries to make a man feel more guilty than he already feels..It does a strange thing... it takes away his guilt...
All the things.. the man was thinking to relieve his own guilt... go out the window.
all his plans, to take his own responsibility.. become the woman's responsibility.
All the deep seated idea, about the woman contribution or cause for his guilt... all of sudden come to the forefront.. Women who pile on guilt.. to a man, who feels guilty.. all of sudden loses their victim identity and becomes the perpetrator.. it's actually the easy way for men to lose their guilt...to avoid their own guilt..

I know to most women....this will sound really strange.. but the way to make a man feel more guilty...Is to try and make him feel less guilty..... Yes....It works just the opposite too.. Yes... men are more complicated and confused.. than you'd think..

Men may not conscientiously understand it.. but they do pile on guilt to women differently.
But almost all men.. don't use an event..to pile on guilt.. a woman breaks the car, and men really don't pile on guilt about that.. Unless a woman takes the joke about it wrong.........Men use other things, more personal things.... where the woman's own guilt has nothing to do with it.......Like looks, the responsibility for the kids, wifely duties.....and his mother in law...
For men, they try to pile on guilt, not because she did something wrong.. they try to pile on guilt.. because she doesn't try to make their life easier.


sparkleflit 71F
4292 posts
2/7/2019 9:46 am

    Quoting Maisie2013:
    I never said it was a zero sum, or an either or. I said to stop at guilt and not accept responsibility is nonproductive. You make my point for me.
Deciding that certain feelings are non-productive doesn't eliminate them........Guilt is a chameleon, an umbrella and a leech.......not easily eradicated, disciplined or identified.......I'm sure that spending your impressionable years having Nuns as your immediate authority has familiarized you with guilt.....and if you are as well acquainted with psychological analysis as you intimate in your blog, you will be aware that guilt is a complex issue that can't be eliminated from the Human psych unproductive.


jiminycricket1 69M
10377 posts
2/7/2019 11:17 am

    Quoting Maisie2013:
    Did you have a jewish mother?

    In case the reference is lost on some, guilt throwing is always a Jewish Mother joke

    What did the Jewish Mother ATM say to her customer?
    A: You never write, you never call and you only visit me when you need money.
    Jewish mother thinking:
    Is one Nobel Prize
    So much to ask from a child
    After all I've done?


You don't see your sons actions the way I see them...How lucky he was at a young age..
How lucky he was to do something like that and get caught
How lucky he was he felt guilty about it
How lucky he was you didn't pile on the guilt.
How lucky he was that he could remove that guilt.. through your actions and his own.

When... I was warning my sons... that you shouldn't have to get 'caught" to feel guilty. What i thinking about was....

Thinking about your son doing what her did, and not feeling guilty and not getting caught... he wouldn't be so lucky then....and how would that have turned out..?
I would guarantee.. not as well.
For sure... punishment never works as well.... as feeling guilty.
It a bigger problem.. if you need someones punishment to feel guilty.. For no one can punish us.. a more effective way ...than we can punish ourselves.


jiminycricket1 69M
10377 posts
2/7/2019 12:06 pm

Quoting Maisie2013:....I never said it was a zero sum, or an either or. I said to stop at guilt and not accept responsibility is nonproductive. You make my point for me.
...........So basically, it all comes down to us. You can sit around and " feel guilty" and repeat the same actions again and again. Or you can step up, be responsible and choose to change your behavior.
"


Okay..... this totally lost me.. and makes you totally lost about guilt..
I thought in the normal sense.... you took guilt as punishment instead of responsibility..an unjust punishment..and over punishment
but obviously I made the wrong assumption..

How is possible that you could believe that guilt.. is not about responsibility, not about punishment... but an excuse? . So one can feel guilty over and over again.. and relieve their responsibility? .A justification to be able to do, whatever it is again? ...
No wonder you NEVER feel guilty.. and feel guilty about it... You certainly... don't need another excuse.. to do what you do.... again and again...


Skariff2 66M
2819 posts
2/7/2019 1:01 pm

I hope this lesson today will be recalled when it's time for someone from the GOP to take responsibility for their actions rather than blaming the Democrats. We could start with lying. Rather than overlook the constant prevarication by our president perhaps we could actually recognize it far what it is and take it as such. Those actions, of course, may place the heretofore undying loyalty in jeopardy, but isn't that part of taking responsibility?

I'm assuming this post is meant to teach the Democrats a lesson, but in the current government the GOP is being led by a guy who hasn't a clue about the workings of the government. He does not, however, allow this minor imperfection to sway him into the path of truthfulness.

Prejudice cannot be conquered with logic, logic didn't instill it and logic cannot eradicate it.


jiminycricket1 69M
10377 posts
2/7/2019 1:45 pm

maisie...

So how can guilt be separate from what one feels guilty about? How can a feeling of guilt just be it's own feeling.. without other meaning and purpose? Like you walk around feeling guilty about things and that give you justification to them.. Like it's okay, I can do that because I feel guilty about it..

So i'm trying to figure out... how in the hell, could you possibly think that way about guilt.

You buy into what a guy says...."Like what more do want from me .. I feel guilty about it.. isn't that enough?

When the truth is.. the only guilt he feels.. is that your trying top MAKE him feel guilty

Like you believe some jerk that would say that to you...Like you believe that guy really does feel guilty... and isn't just saying it.... to get you off his back.. And when he doesn't feel guilty at all, and does it again... You believed that he actually did feel guilty...and uses it as an excuse..?

Feeling guilty can never stand alone.. It's an impossibility.. and still be guilt...
but then again...you do tend to believe in lies.. if it serves your purpose.


Maisie2013 67F
19149 posts
2/7/2019 4:39 pm

    Quoting sparkleflit:
    Deciding that certain feelings are non-productive doesn't eliminate them........Guilt is a chameleon, an umbrella and a leech.......not easily eradicated, disciplined or identified.......I'm sure that spending your impressionable years having Nuns as your immediate authority has familiarized you with guilt.....and if you are as well acquainted with psychological analysis as you intimate in your blog, you will be aware that guilt is a complex issue that can't be eliminated from the Human psych unproductive.
Don't try to push your problem with nuns on me. In my education, I have never seen them as anything , for the most part, as really good teachers. ( I will take exception with Sister Ann, for geometry. She had long since lost her fast ball, but rumor was she had given Euclid a run for his money, in her better days )

Other than that, I will agree with most of what you say here. Many times the lines are blurred when dealing with guilt.


Maisie2013 67F
19149 posts
2/7/2019 4:40 pm

    Quoting Katie_au_lait:
    "but here's the deal.. I would bet..You wouldn't have a problem piling it on other people..I would bet that... because I know, with other people, you'd never feel guilty doing it."

    Well said Jiminy!
    Maisie spends all her time desperately trying to lay guilt trips on everyone who doesn't think or vote as she does. She feels no guilt simply because she has no understanding of what guilt and conscience really are.

    It doesn't say much for her understanding of the various freedoms Humans have... to her, she's "perfect" and those who have a different point of view are just so much sewage.


Hey, it's not my problem if not agreeing with me , makes you feel guilty. Your emotions are yours.


Maisie2013 67F
19149 posts
2/7/2019 4:41 pm

    Quoting Katie_au_lait:
    So, that's what you are doing when you blame Democrats, Muslims and Mexicans for all the evils in the world?

You don't really understand my blogs, do you?


Maisie2013 67F
19149 posts
2/7/2019 4:45 pm

    Quoting Skariff2:
    I hope this lesson today will be recalled when it's time for someone from the GOP to take responsibility for their actions rather than blaming the Democrats. We could start with lying. Rather than overlook the constant prevarication by our president perhaps we could actually recognize it far what it is and take it as such. Those actions, of course, may place the heretofore undying loyalty in jeopardy, but isn't that part of taking responsibility?

    I'm assuming this post is meant to teach the Democrats a lesson, but in the current government the GOP is being led by a guy who hasn't a clue about the workings of the government. He does not, however, allow this minor imperfection to sway him into the path of truthfulness.
This blog is not meant to be political at all. But knock yourself out.

Did you have a problem with Obama blaming Bush for 8 years? I really can't recall Trump even talking about Obama after the campaign

Oh, and this blog is NOT about Trump, but I understand you can't stop yourself.


Maisie2013 67F
19149 posts
2/7/2019 4:49 pm

    Quoting jiminycricket1:
    maisie...

    So how can guilt be separate from what one feels guilty about? How can a feeling of guilt just be it's own feeling.. without other meaning and purpose? Like you walk around feeling guilty about things and that give you justification to them.. Like it's okay, I can do that because I feel guilty about it..

    So i'm trying to figure out... how in the hell, could you possibly think that way about guilt.

    You buy into what a guy says...."Like what more do want from me .. I feel guilty about it.. isn't that enough?

    When the truth is.. the only guilt he feels.. is that your trying top MAKE him feel guilty

    Like you believe some jerk that would say that to you...Like you believe that guy really does feel guilty... and isn't just saying it.... to get you off his back.. And when he doesn't feel guilty at all, and does it again... You believed that he actually did feel guilty...and uses it as an excuse..?

    Feeling guilty can never stand alone.. It's an impossibility.. and still be guilt...
    but then again...you do tend to believe in lies.. if it serves your purpose.
You just cant get past emotion, can you? One of these days you will get past all the emotional pollution, and understand the difference between pure emotion and taking positive action.


Lisztomania 69M
10423 posts
2/7/2019 5:09 pm

    Quoting jiminycricket1:
    maisie...

    So how can guilt be separate from what one feels guilty about? How can a feeling of guilt just be it's own feeling.. without other meaning and purpose? Like you walk around feeling guilty about things and that give you justification to them.. Like it's okay, I can do that because I feel guilty about it..

    So i'm trying to figure out... how in the hell, could you possibly think that way about guilt.

    You buy into what a guy says...."Like what more do want from me .. I feel guilty about it.. isn't that enough?

    When the truth is.. the only guilt he feels.. is that your trying top MAKE him feel guilty

    Like you believe some jerk that would say that to you...Like you believe that guy really does feel guilty... and isn't just saying it.... to get you off his back.. And when he doesn't feel guilty at all, and does it again... You believed that he actually did feel guilty...and uses it as an excuse..?

    Feeling guilty can never stand alone.. It's an impossibility.. and still be guilt...
    but then again...you do tend to believe in lies.. if it serves your purpose.
JC, here's all you really need:

Most merciful God,
we confess that we have sinned against thee
in thought, word, and deed,
by what we have done,
and by what we have left undone.
We have not loved thee with our whole heart;
we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves.
We are truly sorry and we humbly repent.
For the sake of thy Son Jesus Christ,
have mercy on us and forgive us;
that we may delight in thy will,
and walk in thy ways,
to the glory of thy Name. Amen.

This is from the Episcopal Eucharist, and it is admirably concise. And....it's followed immediately by the Absolution. It's a good way to deal with any collective or existential guilt you may be carrying around.


bob77O21__ 75M
8247 posts
2/7/2019 10:10 pm

    Quoting Maisie2013:
    You just cant get past emotion, can you? One of these days you will get past all the emotional pollution, and understand the difference between pure emotion and taking positive action.
Actually, I don't think he'll ever get to that stage.


Katie_au_lait 73F
6412 posts
2/8/2019 2:05 am

    Quoting Maisie2013:
    Hey, it's not my problem if not agreeing with me , makes you feel guilty. Your emotions are yours.
Why would I (or anyone else for that matter) feel "guilt" in disagreeing with anything you say or do?
"Contempt" would be a more accurate word... living your life without "emotion" makes you inhuman.

Whatever, I'm still laughing at your take on what it is to be human! You deny having any emotions even while you use them to put everybody else down.


Maisie2013 67F
19149 posts
2/8/2019 8:23 am

    Quoting Katie_au_lait:
    Why would I (or anyone else for that matter) feel "guilt" in disagreeing with anything you say or do?
    "Contempt" would be a more accurate word... living your life without "emotion" makes you inhuman.

    Whatever, I'm still laughing at your take on what it is to be human! You deny having any emotions even while you use them to put everybody else down.


I suppose if I wanted to write emotion filled blogs, instead of opinion, based on the facts as I understand them, I would have to change political sides.


jiminycricket1 69M
10377 posts
2/8/2019 8:30 am

    Quoting MrsJoe:
    Even without feeling guilty, people have to take responsibility for their actions.
    In some of the present situations we are seeing, I am amazed though, how people can be held accountable for what they did decades ago, that was acceptable at that time, but not now. How is one supposed to feel "guilty" for those actions?
We seems to all have a different definition of guilt... some very narrow and some more open.. Some as a judgment of others and some just personal..
In my mind, guilt and responsibility go hand in hand... You don't have to agree with my definition just try to understand it.. I don't believe my definition is absolute......
My idea of guilt is the same as remorse....the only difference between the two would be someones degree of responsibility. The more responsible the more guilt....the less responsible the more remorse.
Responsibility then become the definition question.. the narrow view and the open view..my view of responsibility is how one perceives it... Some people don't feel responsible for anything.. other people think everything that happens in their life , one way or another, they are responsible for..
We all fall somewhere in between the remorse and guilt line. no one else's idea of it matters.. The only verdict that matters.. is in one's self-judgment..

We are old enough to have to deal with it everyday... looking through our past.. The idea of whether, things we wish we could have changed, become remorse or guilt..Most of Us will TRY to avoid the guilt....I happen, to almost always question... where I fall in between... Feeling guilt for me.. is in varying degrees for each incident of my life. From none to ALMOST totally responsible

But I have arrived at a conclusion to it all.. about My remorse and guilt and responsibility...First I can't go back and change it.. Second, I have to accept it, and accept the fact.. that Third, and most important, my remorse and guilt and responsibility, defines me. It's who I am, and not who I wish I was..

That brings us to your question......and how MY definition of "feeling guilty" fits your question.. I don't ask you to agree with MY definition..just understand it..

"How is one supposed to feel "guilty" for those actions?"

I suggest you look into your own life..and figure it out. How you can or can not do it. Tell us your definition of "feeling guilty".. Not in the judgement of others, but how YOU personally come to feel guilty. Or do you have no remorse?


Lisztomania 69M
10423 posts
2/8/2019 8:33 am

    Quoting Katie_au_lait:
    Why would I (or anyone else for that matter) feel "guilt" in disagreeing with anything you say or do?
    "Contempt" would be a more accurate word... living your life without "emotion" makes you inhuman.

    Whatever, I'm still laughing at your take on what it is to be human! You deny having any emotions even while you use them to put everybody else down.


Why is it that you cannot tolerate opinions contrary to your own? You are toxic stew of sanctimony, bigotry, and hatred.


jiminycricket1 69M
10377 posts
2/12/2019 8:10 am

One of the ironies about feeling guilty...

Is that it is virtually impossible... to truly believe in GOD.. and live the lives we lead.. and NOT feel guilty..

It's a necessity..not a choice.
It's by design....to believe in God... One MUST "feel guilty".

For many... God is the avenue to heal the guilt.. god is the only one who can remove the guilt. god can lead one to a path that avoids the guilt..

the irony about that is amazing....For those things in our lives.. that we wish to heal, stop, or avoid.. only makes it more REAL..


Misguided1 51M
67 posts
2/25/2019 5:21 pm

CAREFUL MASIE, DONT GET YOUR PANTIES IN A UPROAR OR YOU CAN BECOME VUNERABLE FOR FAILED HEALTH, REMEBER I TOLD YOU THAT TWO WEEKS AGO AND HERE YOU ARE, COMMENTING NON STOP FOR OVER A DAY..

TAKE IT EASY AND RELAX. HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE IS NO GOO AT YOUR AGE.

AND TAKE 81 MGS OF BABY CHEWABLE ASPRIN TWICE A DAY, WILL KEEP YOUR BP DOWN WHERE IT NEEEDS TO BE..


Misguided1 51M
67 posts
2/25/2019 5:22 pm

AAAA