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Superhuman Civility Hi folks! Last week or so I've been experimenting to ascertain how much hate I find in the blogs. I admit I use the term "hate" in a very broad sense. I guess I'd say anytime even a hint of animosity or bigotry towards any group or person appears, or anything biased and demeaning of anyone else as "hate". It's just more convenient for me to lump all those things under one category, and they all a part in the breakdown of civility and any chance of finding common ground among us. I make no claims to be perfect. And I can't promise I won't quit trying to promote civility. But for now, 's my objective. A couple days ago I was encouraged because I found much less hate on my own blog posts than I had anticipated. I felt very good about . But today, I decided to check where I've been quoted and found a lot of the same hate. On reflection I guess I understand why those individuals chose not to attack so intently on my own blog. They may have assumed I would delete their comments, and I can't guarantee I wouldn't have. Every case is different. But I chose not to bother responding to those comments on the other blogs, because just no longer in the mood for pissing matches, and I sense was what they wanted. Such things may or may not include valid and relevant points of discussion, but it all gets lost when people aren't in a position to agree because we are insulting each other, and all of us are naturally compelled to save face. Anyway, just so folks know, at least for the time being insisting others do as trying to do in regards to civility and respect, or I probably won't respond all. I'll continue to do my best to be civil and respectful, but here or on other blogs I often going to politely disagree when appropriate, or may respond simply I sense a degree of animosity or hostility in the comments or questions posed to me and refuse for reason to respond further. If we insult, denigrate, or humiliate another, we will never give them the opportunity to consider our point of view anyway. And if they are attacking us, we naturally find it impossible to consider theirs. If common ground is to be found, we have to provide a way for those we disagree with to save face in those situations where we turn out to be right. Otherwise they have no opportunity to say anything akin to "You may have a point" or similar comment. Likewise, if we are too adamant and have been insulting of others, we box ourselves into a corner we can't back out of without facing humiliation on those occasions when we turn out to be wrong. hoping and asking more of us learn to offer those we disagree with the opportunity to consider our viewpoints and accept them if they are good, or least respect our differences without attack so we are free to agree to disagree. Just felt like expressing my current feelings on the matter. Sorry it took so many words. GBU all, Gavin |
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TY all in advance for reading this. GBU all, Gavin
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Yes, that's exactly what happened. It was on the blog of another person. In fact, that person treated me politely and with friendly respect. It was others who commented on her blog that were hostile. TY and GBU, Gavin
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The point of your blog is an important one, Gavin.  As adults I'm sure civility is achievable. Possibly we just need to exhale and re-evaluate/proofread our blogs and blog comments before clicking post. Civil discourse Civil discourse is engagement in discourse intended to enhance understanding. Kenneth J. Gergen describes civil discourse as "the language of dispassionate objectivity", and suggests that it requires respect of the other participants, such as the reader. It neither diminishes the other's moral worth, nor questions their good judgment; it avoids hostility, direct antagonism, or excessive persuasion; it requires modesty and an appreciation for the other participant's experiences.
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Hi Gavin. I have tried to be civil and make comments to others on their blogs, and have found that there are a few who want to attack, no matter what is said. Often, those folks don't even stick to the subject of the blog, they attack the people who make comments. And even when you are trying to be civil, some like to point out that in the past, you have said such and such about someone. So I have learned that it is best for me to not join into every dispute to which I am invited and not even respond to some people because I really don't care what they think. Makes life a whole lot more pleasant. Be a prism, spreading God's light and love, not a mirror reflecting the world's hatred.
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I like coleslaw too
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