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Why Guitars are better than ... Why Guitars are better than Men: Guitars don't snore. Guitars never wake you up in the middle of the night, for any reason. Guitars never try to show you off to their friends. Guitars don't come home drunk after a night out with the other Guitars. You don't have to praise a Guitar after playing it. Guitars don't have to prove anything. Guitars don't try to change you once you've bought them. Second-hand Guitars don't go to see previous owners when you're out of town. Guitars don't have egos. You don't have to continually assure your Guitar that its string length is just right. Your Guitar will never earn more than you do for the same job just because it's a Guitar. Your Guitar never spends a "night out with the Guitars" and comes home with a strange rash on its fretboard. You don't have to feed your Guitar. Guitars never argue, you are always right. Guitars don't sneak around with other Guitars. When you're playing, your Guitar doesn't care if other Guitars are bigger or better. Guitars don't abandon you at gatherings for more interesting players. Guitars don't get jealous of your male colleagues. Guitars never put you down, yet you can put them down whenever you wish. When your Guitar is being played too slow, you can speed up. You determine the length and frequency of playing, and you're always in control. Your Guitar never finishes before you do. Why Guitars are better than Women: Guitars don't care how many other Guitars you have. Guitars don't care how many other Guitars you've played. You can share your Guitar with your friends. You'll never hear, "Surprise, you are going to proud father of a new Guitar" unless you go out to buy one yourself. Guitars don't care if you buy Guitar magazines. Guitars don't care if you look at other Guitars. If your Guitar is flat you can fix it. Your Guitar doesn't care if you never listen to it. Your Guitar won't care if you leave up the toilet seat. You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your Guitar. If you say bad things to your Guitar, you don't have to apologize before you play it again. You can play your Guitar as long as you want and it won't get sore. You can stop playing your Guitar as soon as you want and it won't get frustrated. Your parents won't remain in touch with your old Guitar after you dump it. Guitars don't get headaches. Guitars don't insult you if you're a bad player. Guitars don't care if you're late. You don't have to take a shower before you play your Guitar. If your Guitar doesn't look good you can refinish it or get new parts. You can play your Guitar the first time you meet it, without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother. The only protection you have to wear when playing your Guitar is a decent thumb pick. When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great time you had the last time you played a Guitar. |
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Thanks for sharing, but I still prefer my boyfriend over a guitar.  Elaine Shuel
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