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It may be time to separate the USA !!! This young man certainly sounds like he knows what he is talking about..... Subject: DIVORCE AGREEMENT Don't know really who wrote it, but it is right on! Since we are not going to get gasoline back to $1.50 per gallon and coffee to $2.00 per pound maybe this would be a solution we could live with. DIVORCE AGREEMENT -- This is so incredibly well-put, and I can hardly believe it's by a young person, a student!! Whatever he runs for, I'll vote for him! * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, regressive, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et. al.: We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the , but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way. Here is a model separation agreement: 1. Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy. Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides had such distinct and disparate tastes. 2. We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them. 3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. 4. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military. 5. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar, and bio-diesel. 6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O' Don nell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them. 7. We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. 8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens. 9. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. 10. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood . 11. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. 12. You can have the peace-niks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security. 13. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. 14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill. 15. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find. 16. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.. 17. We'll continue to believe healthcare is an earned luxury and not a right. 18. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem." 19. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are the World". 20. We'll practice t rick ledown economics and you can continue to give t rick le up poverty your best shot. 21. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our constitution and our flag. 22. Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years. Sincerely, John J. Wall Law Student and an American P.S.: Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, and Jane Fonda with you. P.S.S..: And you won't have to "Press 1 for English" when you call our country. Forward this every time you get it! Let's keep this going; maybe some of it will start sinking in! **If you can't stand behind our Military, Please feel free to stand in front of them! ** |
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3/28/2012 1:32 pm |
2. We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them. Great. So when you run out of Medicare funds, and Social Security, and those CEOs you’ve decided you want also decide they don’t need to pay your pensions again, let us know so we can shake our heads in rueful regret. 3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Oh…ACTIVIST judges whose rulings you don’t agree with. We’ll gladly accept the ACLU…and the Constitution it is organized to defend. You can keep the 50’s McCarthy narrowmindedness. 4. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military. Great…and when you can’t muster enough people to patrol your streets or staff your military, let us know so we can suggest you start drafting all those chicken hawks...like The Big Dick, Little Donny and Jethro Bush, who can claim MISSION ACCOMPLISHED without having a clue what the mission ever was. Don't be surprised if there aren't many standing around to salute them, though. See, most of the military is made up of lower middle class and poor...people you detest. 5. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar, and bio-diesel. Super…and when your gas prices hit $8.00 a gallon, let us know…and when OPEC decides to shove it a bit further up…and when you’ve tapped that last well. We’ll be taking the national park system with us. OH, and you can get your army together and invade some oil rich nation on the pretense of weapons of mass destruction. That worked out so well for you last time. 6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O' Don nell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them. Not a problem. You can keep Jethro Bush, The Big Dick, and Little Donnie and the rest of the chicken hawks who loved to fight wars…from the comfort of their arm chairs…with other people’s kids. That is, if you can find a HumVee big enough for all their egos. 7. We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. And you’re welcome to them. America doesn’t need more cheap plastic crap. And please, since you love the pharmaceutical companies so much, when we negotiate the price of drugs to realistic levels….stay home and pay those bloated prices. 8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens. Since you’re too mean spirited, greedy, and selfish…we accept. It is, after all, the Christian thing to do...something you seem to have forgotten 9. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. Thank YOU…you can keep that Great Alaska Quitter, Donald Trump, and Jethro Bush...and especially Glenn Beck. Make sure you take St. Santorum with you as well. And Pat Robertson. 10. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood . Just make sure you take ALL of the Bible…Be sure to study the Sermon on the Mount...and that little passage that mentions "the least of these" We will gladly give you Faux “news” as well. 11. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. Perfect…we’ll take both…and TALK to them… make idle, useless threats. 12. You can have the peace-niks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security. You mean…the allies like Jethro managed during his last illegal war? Please…keep them all. 13. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. Make sure you keep ALL Judeo-Christian values….like keeping women in their place. (Except the “hot Alaska Hockey Moms of course) Leviticus 12: 2 Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, If a woman have conceived seed, and born a man child: then she shall be unclean seven days; according to the days of the separation for her infirmity shall she be unclean. 3 And in the eighth day the flesh of his foreskin shall be acircumcised. 4 And she shall then continue in the blood of her purifying three and thirty days; she shall touch no hallowed thing, nor come into the sanctuary, until the days of her purifying be fulfilled. 5 But if she bear a maid child, then she shall be unclean two weeks, as in her separation: and she shall continue in the blood of her purifying threescore and six days. 14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill. Perfect. You keep Joe McCarthy, Glenn Beck, Phyllis Gadfly, Michelle Malkin, Michelle Bachmann, The Great Alaska Quitter, Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh and the Faux News. You deserve each other. 15. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find. We’ll also take the Hybrids, thanks. We'll combine them with the wind and solar and geo-thermal power...and when oil prices get too steep for you...we'll gladly sell power to you. 16. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.. As one of the only countries in the industrialized world that does not have health care, we thank you. Something to think about when your insurance company decides that the wart on your butt is a ‘pre-existing condition’ and drops your coverage…or decides your child might have a birth defect and refuses coverage…or jacks up your rates 500%…because they can. 17. We'll continue to believe healthcare is an earned luxury and not a right. And you’ll continue to be just as ignorant as ever. 18. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem." Perfect…keep an old English drinking song as your anthem…how apt. 19. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are the World". We’d rather use All You Need Is Love and Give Peace A Chance, thanks. 20. We'll practice t rick ledown economics and you can continue to give t rick le up poverty your best shot. And when you get tired of those CEOs pissing down your back and telling you it’s trickle down, raise your umbrella. 21. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our constitution and our flag. You wouldn’t recognize the Constitution if it bit your ass…and as long as you want to re-write history anyway, you're certainly welcome to your version. 22. Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years. Just because you have silenced a man does not mean you have changed his mind.
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3/28/2012 4:07 pm |
Rusty I’m glad to hear that you didn’t write this. Hope I don’t ‘offend’ anyone but .. This sounds like another childish attempt by some Republican ‘spokesperson’ to claim ownership of concepts and values that are shared by millions of US Citizens, Democrats as well as Republicans.
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3/28/2012 5:42 pm |
Yes. Teddy-ess and hairee, We need (An update on the situation here.) ROTFLMFAO
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3/29/2012 10:22 am |
We Alberta oil barons would welcome such an development. The more pickups, SUV's, and Hummers you guys drive, the more money we make.
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