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Inter Generational Support Adult assisting parents / elderly parents assisting – something we see and hear about every day. It goes in both directions. The other day one of the perpetually unhappy neighbors cornered me as I walked by her house. She is 84 and not in the best of physical health. She was fuming to the point of being red faced because the community center across the street from her was making changes to accommodate . She was further antagonized by the fact that the workers, who were minding their own business and doing what looked to me like a good job were speaking Spanish. She ranted further about the decline of our community (things I consider change but not necessarily decline). She went on about how she no longer wanted to be part of this community but could not afford to leave. (Probably not true since her property values have gone up in the past few years, do mainly to the changes she dislikes) She said that she had raised and educated a who could well afford to help her but he was spending his money on his ’s college education instead. That was the final illogical thought. I was very happy when I could get away from her. Her remarks left me thinking about lots of things. Foremost in my mind was how could she justify making accommodating her prejudices and preferences more important than a grand ’s education? Further, how could any of us expect our to help us out if we are safe, physically comfortable, and have our needs for the basics met? I admit I am probably inclined to go too far in the other direction. At the moment I am forgoing extras to help out one of my daughters who is going through tough financial times. There is no way I could justify getting a new couch or taking an extra trip while my grandchild goes without decent food and school clothes or my not having the money for gas to get to work. To me it is a matter of whoever can helping those who can't. The neighbor in question justifies her feelings by the fact that she was a nurse, had a successful career and worked hard all of her life. Didn’t most of us who raised a family? Try as I will I cannot get my head around the fact that at our age with our basic needs being met we would even consider to being a priority to our or grandchildren. I admit that I am spoiled because I have a large family and would never be in this woman’s situation. A couple of them are already putting in their requests for who “gets me” when I am no longer able to live independently but I would be more than satisfied to be her age, able to live independently and have my needs met. Looking at the direction things seem to be going economically our will be working forever just to survive. Who knows what our grandchildren face. They will need every advantage they can get and an education is essential. How could anyone my age put their preferences ahead of this? Spiritwoman ^i^ |
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It's called selfishness and a sense of entitlement. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I have only myself to look after and only my needs to be met. While I manage well on my own at this time, I do have concerns for the future; not financially but physically. It's nice, and I'm sure comforting, that you have people who would be more than happy to add you to their household should the need arise.
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It's called selfishness and a sense of entitlement. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I have only myself to look after and only my needs to be met. While I manage well on my own at this time, I do have concerns for the future; not financially but physically. It's nice, and I'm sure comforting, that you have people who would be more than happy to add you to their household should the need arise. Judgment Day will be interesting - and all paths lead there.
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10/24/2015 10:25 am |
It's called selfishness and a sense of entitlement. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I have only myself to look after and only my needs to be met. While I manage well on my own at this time, I do have concerns for the future; not financially but physically. It's nice, and I'm sure comforting, that you have people who would be more than happy to add you to their household should the need arise. Spiritwoman ^i^
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10/24/2015 10:28 am |
That is the part I don't understand, although many nurses like my mother never had retirement plans where they worked. My mom was well aware of retirement needs so fortunately had a personal plan. Spiritwoman ^i^
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10/24/2015 10:28 am |
Thank you. Spiritwoman ^i^
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10/24/2015 10:31 am |
The son comes by frequently. Takes her grocery shopping, to medical appointments, the hair dresser etc. I can not imagine that she has not let him know how she feels. She is very out spoken. Spiritwoman ^i^
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10/24/2015 10:34 am |
So true. Anger is one of the best repellants there is. My step mother was. Always an angry person and that did not get any better as she aged, nor did it make us very enthusiastic about spending time with her. Spiritwoman ^i^
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10/24/2015 10:35 am |
Selfishness and a sense of entitlement was exactly my thoughts also. Pity so many have an, "It's all about me." mindset. Spiritwoman ^i^
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10/24/2015 10:38 am |
I'm sure that plays a vital part. I have seen this happen often when people who are used to being in control of their situation have to face the fact that they really aren't. Spiritwoman ^i^
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10/24/2015 10:42 am |
And we will be the type that they have to drag out kicking and screaming and hanging on to the door knob because we do not want to loose an inch of independence. Spiritwoman ^i^
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