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A Place of My Own It’s really hot here and some of the folks who usually don’t venture into water are out at the pool. Today it was a group of ladies about my age floating on noodles and talking. Obviously they were a social group. One of their topics of discussion was a member of their group no one had heard from in a while. One of the ladies had information. Their friend “went on the computer and met a man!!!”. There were a couple of gasps of concern and “tusk, tusks”. The presenter further reported that their friend had moved in with the man she met and in the process lost her own home. The man passed away and his family evicted her. She ended up homeless and had to move in with her . Made me think. I always said that I would rather move in with someone than have them move in with me. My rational was that I would be able just leave if things didn’t work out. I spent the past 8 years or so “wandering” but never gave up my trailer. I retreated to it twice and it is my still my security blanket. It’s so much a part of me. At least once a week or so I go by and visit my “sanctuary”. My little meditation garden is so peaceful. Since the trailer is parked on the second lot at my house I am there often. Thinking this through I finally got some insight into dreams I have been having for the past year. In my dreams I am living with my mother and have to / need to leave because my mother does not approve of my lifestyle. (She wouldn’t) Then I realize that that is no problem because I have my own place and it won’t cost me anything extra to just live there. The strange part of this dream is that I never had it until my mother passed last year. I don’t know where this came from but obviously I have major issues around independence. Fortunately I am able to keep my own place as a security blanket. Maybe not such a bad idea since from the ladies at the pool's story you just never know. If I did not have a place to call my own I know I would need to have enough cash on hand to get an apartment or at least a room if I needed. Spiritwoman ^i^ |
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8/28/2013 8:51 pm |
Good to have taken care of business. We all have to do that, even if we are married. I can not imagine why your kids would not honor your plans. You and Joe have been together for a while and I am sure they have come to love him as family and seeing how your family works it's like mine - family is family and we take care of each other. Spiritwoman ^i^
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Documentation is the key. Words fade with the wind, ink on papers remains. All important documents should be recorded at the court house and a stamped copy in a bank safety deposit box or home safe. I just learned where a person near me was to get everything but no paper; during the funeral a relative went into the home got the unrecorded will, destroyed it and presented their own will to the Probate Court. . The beginning of life, conception..
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Ann and I recently saw a lawyer and covered each other in the event of one of us passing, that is the least you can do if you are in a long term relationship. Alfie...
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8/29/2013 8:03 am |
Hi Spirit: Good topic for a dating group. If a woman meets a man and he moves into her house (or vice versa), she has to be careful if she intends that her family should inherit her house when she dies. I think the law is different in certain States, but in Canada a couple living together for a year (I think) are considered to have a legal common law marriage and the survivor can apply to inherit the house if the spouse dies. If they get married, even if the house is in her name only, the man automatically gets the house. One way around that is if he moves into her house, have him write her a cheque every month and make sure the words "Rent for the month of xxx" are written on the cheque.
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Ann and I recently saw a lawyer and covered each other in the event of one of us passing, that is the least you can do if you are in a long term relationship. Alfie... 
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8/29/2013 9:19 am |
Excellent point for the younger women. The "secret savings" is something I learned from my grandmother. Although she didn't have it for the reasons we are talking about it (at least I don't think} she had her "rainy day" fund of cash in her secret hiding place. As soon as she felt I was old enough - I think I was about 13, she told me about it and advised me that I needed one always. Spiritwoman ^i^
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8/29/2013 9:24 am |
More dreams about mom last night. They are actually communication dreams as she is still around since my ability to cross over and communicate is pretty strong. I figured it out this morning. She does not approve of me following the old ways of the Strega. She insisted on abolishing all of my grandmother's ethnic ways because we were "American's now". She did not know I was practicing them when she was alive. I am laughing now realizing that if I did not have the ability and followed the practices she would not be able to communicate her disapproval. Spiritwoman ^i^
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8/29/2013 9:30 am |
laughing here about the security conscious. My last serious relationship was with one of your type. He was a Cancer but much the same. Triple locks on all of the doors, video surveillance system and slept with a hand gun under the pillow. Carry over from his days as a Marine sniper followed by another government job that required constant vigilance. Imagine how he felt when he took me out to the range and the old country girl did as well as he did, even better with the sniper rifle - and I had never handled it before. Spiritwoman ^i^
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8/29/2013 9:32 am |
Good preparation but realize that if you rent out your house if you are not there you can turn a profit on it or at least have it pay for it self. Spiritwoman ^i^
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8/29/2013 9:35 am |
Documentation is the key. Words fade with the wind, ink on papers remains. All important documents should be recorded at the court house and a stamped copy in a bank safety deposit box or home safe. I just learned where a person near me was to get everything but no paper; during the funeral a relative went into the home got the unrecorded will, destroyed it and presented their own will to the Probate Court. Spiritwoman ^i^
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8/29/2013 9:40 am |
Ann and I recently saw a lawyer and covered each other in the event of one of us passing, that is the least you can do if you are in a long term relationship. Alfie... Spiritwoman ^i^
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8/29/2013 9:44 am |
Hi Spirit: Good topic for a dating group. If a woman meets a man and he moves into her house (or vice versa), she has to be careful if she intends that her family should inherit her house when she dies. I think the law is different in certain States, but in Canada a couple living together for a year (I think) are considered to have a legal common law marriage and the survivor can apply to inherit the house if the spouse dies. If they get married, even if the house is in her name only, the man automatically gets the house. One way around that is if he moves into her house, have him write her a cheque every month and make sure the words "Rent for the month of xxx" are written on the cheque. Spiritwoman ^i^
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8/29/2013 9:45 am |
Do I know you? Your face looks kind of familiar..... Spiritwoman ^i^
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8/29/2013 9:17 pm |
No - sounds like a good arrangement with good planning. Most people our age come with families and such and will not be building either additional family, careers or assets. so this works out best for all. I imagine the situation is far more complicated for those who don't enter the relationship with equal assets. Spiritwoman ^i^
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To each his own but I hate it when people mind others' business unless it is a close friend or family and they have enough evidence to conclude that where the friend or family member is headed is definite doom. Good that you have your security blanket. Here is wishing you happiness always.   #"To fight the darkness do not draw your sword, light a candle" - Zarathustra
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