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Support Groups Am I weird? No need to answer as I already know I am. I do believe in support groups for those who really need them. These groups are more about treatment and recovery and are actually programs in themselves. What I am talking about is the groups that have proliferated have proliferated to the extent that anytime anyone has or is in a situation where they have or should have, emotions our medical community (at least here) wants to send you to one. If you don’t ask they come to you without being invited. Again, I’m not talking about those who that really provide a service like 12 step programs. What I am talking about is things like families of those who have hang nails type groups. Case in point. Chuck was barely off the ventilator when the HMO friendly person called to chat about his experience. There were a couple of medical staff in the room trying to their job at the time. I am part of the HMO so have been through this with them. They bill themselves as seniors helping seniors. Everything there is any sort of anything they are on the phone. In my case they called me 3 times to discuss my medication with me and try to get me into a “support group”. Seems one of the uses of the med is for depression. I’m not depressed. I take it for chronic arthritic pain. About a year later the drug company started advertising this med for just what I was prescribed to me for. Another time they decided they needed to “advise” me about another med being bad for those over 65. I told them I don’t have any problems with it, it works, my doctors monitors it and that if it didn’t work or had horrible side effects we would switch to something else. They thought I should to a support group for anxiety. (Personally , the idea of a room full of anxious people does nothing to suggest a calming effect). I finally had to get assertive to the point of being beyond rude to get my name on a do not call list. Yesterday a volunteer from a support group for people who have had heart surgery came to visit Chuck. No one had asked Chuck if he wanted to talk to them. He is not a group person normally. He's social but not one who emotes all over the place. This is his second open heart surgery in 3 years. He knows what to expect and just wants to get through the recovery and get on with the gift of being alive and the better quality life tise procedure will bring. The very nice gentleman then invited me to come as a caregiver. He had no idea of my background and that I, like many of us, had a career in a form of professional care giving. The thing I need least is another event to schedule in. He told us that the hospital has a cardio rehab program. We said we already go to a full service gym and have programs there that address our individual needs. Turns out that our gym plan is more economical than the hospital one and provides more extensive facilities. Yes, I am sure we have information and support that we could share but there is far more to focus on in life than what is less than perfect. I know there many who need the companionship these groups bring. This leaves me very sad. What has our society come to? How about a positive approach to things like Chuck’s heart surgery from the standpoint of just being thankful and grateful that something could be done to alleviate suffering and not only extend life but improve its quality. Now if there was a group that had a party or celebration for successful interventions I just might be one of the first to attend. It makes me sadder to think that there are those who have not cultivated some meaningful personal connections and / or lack a life to get back to. Even if we are completely shut in due to health issues there are many other ways to participate in life. Those of us knew Destiny can look to her as a role model. We’re looking at a great example of connection right here, our SFF family. I have lots of real life friends and family and certainly am not even close to being a shut in but I so appreciate being part of this place. Thank you all for accepting me into the SFF family. Spiritwoman ^i^ |
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I'm not a support group type of guy, I've managed to get to this stage of life pretty well without them. If I need to take some kind of action, I am quite able to take it without the help of some group of supporters. Having said that, I am always pleased to see my SFF support group, I couldn't get through without them.  Alfie...
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"Support group?" Hmmm, maybe I should look for one. I'd like to find a group to pay for my support. That way I'd have more money left over for beer and fun. Know of any such "support groups?" in the southeastern MI area? GBU, Gavin
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4/26/2013 8:17 pm |
I'm not a support group type of guy, I've managed to get to this stage of life pretty well without them. If I need to take some kind of action, I am quite able to take it without the help of some group of supporters. Having said that, I am always pleased to see my SFF support group, I couldn't get through without them. Alfie... Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/26/2013 8:19 pm |
Thank you fro the kudos. There are those who aggravate from time to tome and those we just say WHAT? to but most are great folks to relax with. Coming here is part of my evening relax and unwind routine. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/26/2013 8:20 pm |
"Support group?" Hmmm, maybe I should look for one. I'd like to find a group to pay for my support. That way I'd have more money left over for beer and fun. Know of any such "support groups?" in the southeastern MI area? GBU, Gavin Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/26/2013 8:23 pm |
Unbelievable how those folks try to take advantage. Just dealing with the system is bad enough without them. I had so much of it the last couple of days I actually came home cranky today. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/26/2013 8:26 pm |
Interesting - sounds more like alanon material but then AA does not turn anyone away unless they come in drunk and even then many groups will let them stay and hope they hear the message. They are a very accepting group ant their program is a lifestyle can see how she could become dependent. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/26/2013 8:36 pm |
You may have a point there. You reminded me of a time years ago when I went to a staff "retreat" to help us deal with job stress. In one of the exercises the facilitator asked us to share our issues. I did. He responded "that is way more than we deal with here". Funny thing is that I wasn't expecting anyone to "deal" with my issues nor was I haveing difficulty dealing with them. He did ask what they and I was honest. Guess I don't have sense enough to know when I am suppose to have difficulty dealing. Like Alfie when action is needed I just do it, kind of on auto pilot. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/26/2013 8:40 pm |
I've tried most things but never heard of this one. Don't know if I can handle the garlic but I'll give it a try. Spiritwoman ^i^
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Support groups tend to be like misguided missiles which hit unintended targets causing undesired damage - they are quite like the human rights workers (majority of whom I observed manufactured gory stories of atrocities by poking their noses where there is perfect calm). Some support groups have certainly rendered yeoman service but most are intrusive and aggressive. I believe a support group of friends and families certainly is most effective and helpful. That is the impression that I gather here too. I believe Poet_dancer's recipe is very helpful in arthritis alonwith drinking plenty of water - latter if one is not a case of water retention. Have a nice and tranquil weekend sans aggressive support groups.   PS : How is Chuck now ?? Wishing him the best. "To fight the darkness do not draw your sword, light a candle" - Zarathustra
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4/27/2013 9:38 am |
I love your analogy to misguided missiles. I think the "support groups" of friends and family are useful and effective becasue there is real caring involved. These are true support groups who's energy can contribute to the outcome. Chuck is doing well. I actually brought him home last night. As of yesterday AM he was off electronic monitoring and able to take meds etc. without the IV. Even though Nursing care is not one of my favorite things I can do it and with the over burdened, crazy health care system we have here in the US people are far better off out of the hospital if not need of intensive monitoring and interventions. We can always go back if things go bad. The doctor was surprised that we would be asking for early discharge as he said most people don't want to go home when he is ready to discharge them. I can not imagine that but I suppose there are many who are insecure particularly after a major event. Spiritwoman ^i^
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