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Coud Use Some Good Thoughts Today It’s about 6 AM here and Chuck just went into surgery to have a replaced heart valve re-replaced – a long and complicated surgery. He is one of the 3% of valve replacements that fail in less than 10 years. A 3% is hardly significant when you are the one who is experiencing it. I will be hanging out with a friend who lives near the hospital and who is one of the few people I know who is up at 6 AM . The hospital to call me when the surgery is about over so I can be there to talk to the doctor. The nurse who will follow the surgery and recovery will keep me posted by phone as the surgery proceeds through the various steps in order to allow me to wait in privacy and comfort as opposed to hours in a waiting room. I will be quickly available if anything unforeseen comes up and decisions need to be made. Much better than the old days when the family had to stay present for updates on progress. As a reminder to all unmarried couples – Be sure to have your Power of Attorney and Advanced Health Care Directive are in order. In some states even heterosexual couples over 62 can file a domestic partnership agreement that grants these same rights and privileges. These documents will grant you the authority to make medical decisions and recognize you as next of kin. You never know when you might need it. Make sure the power of attorney authorizes your partner to take care of your financial and business matters when you can’t. Don’t list another family member as next of kin. Chuck identified me as POA and emergency contact and his as next of kin. (the way most would see it) Earlier in this process he hospital could not get ahold of him for an appointment time mix up and called his who lives a couple of thousand miles away and spends more time out of the country than in the US instead of me. knew nothing about the details could not do anything and had to go through unnecessary concern because the hospital called him out of the blue. If you are single and not in a relationship you need to use the same documents identify a relative or close friend who you want to be in charge, make decisions, and take care of your business when you can’t. Be sure that person knows how to access the information necessary to act in your behalf (account numbers, passwords etc.). Laws often vary state to state. It is a good idea for married couples to have these documents as well, particularly for late in life marriages where each partner has their own and family. They can be prepared inexpensively via on line legal assistance sites and notarized locally. This will considerably simplify life, avoid misunderstandings and confusion and make things easier when the serious stuff happens and your focus needs to be elsewhere. Spiritwoman ^i^ |
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Thank you for this! We just had the same discussion today and need to do something soon.
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Let us know how Chuck is doing...
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This is a coincidence Spirit, Ann and I have been discussing this very subject regarding POA and living will in the past few days. In fact I plan on seeing about it in the very near future. Chuck is in our prayers and thoughts. Alfie...
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Hugsssss for you both!!! Yes!!! It's very important to have those legal documents in place!!!
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4/22/2013 3:56 pm |
Thank you. As you no doubt know our perception of time takes on a completely different perspective in such situations. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/22/2013 3:59 pm |
TY. that usually works but I found out today just how the "next of kin" is viewed varies even among staff in the same hospital. This is not our first round with me taking charge of his medical care but for some reason today a real "nurse Ratchet" decided to question me. I just referred to her the paperwork in his chart. I'm still irritated over this as she is the only one who ever questioned and never had any reason to do so. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/22/2013 4:00 pm |
Thank you for this! We just had the same discussion today and need to do something soon. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/22/2013 4:01 pm |
Let us know how Chuck is doing... Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/22/2013 4:02 pm |
Thank you. Too wired to rest now but will do the medication route tonight. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/22/2013 4:04 pm |
Yes indeed, good information...Sending Chuck my very best...Remember I am only a phone call away..hugs to you both.. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/22/2013 4:05 pm |
This is a coincidence Spirit, Ann and I have been discussing this very subject regarding POA and living will in the past few days. In fact I plan on seeing about it in the very near future. Chuck is in our prayers and thoughts. Alfie... Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/22/2013 4:05 pm |
Thank you Spiritwoman ^i^
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Best wishes to Chuck. Hope he will be well soon. Trust in dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.(Khalil Gibran)
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4/22/2013 4:08 pm |
Hugsssss for you both!!! Yes!!! It's very important to have those legal documents in place!!! Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/22/2013 4:10 pm |
That is one of those things but as we both agree there are no such things as coincidences. I think that many people put off the legal documents becasue it is an admission of mortality. Others may have control issues. Hope your daughter-in-law's dad is OK. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/22/2013 5:33 pm |
thank you. Not sure how the legal issues work in your country but hope there is something similar so that you can make sure who you want is in charge should it be needed. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/22/2013 5:34 pm |
Thank you so far so good. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/22/2013 5:36 pm |
Thanks. The hug feels wonderful and I will forward the handshake to Chuck when he is awake and able to move his hands. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/23/2013 12:37 am |
Hi Spirit: Poor Chuck. I hope he will be o.k. Many people who live alone in an apartment give a copy of their apartment keys to a family member, thinking that when they die that family member will be able to enter their apartment and take care of things. Not true. The landlord gets in there fast and changes the locks to protect the deceased tenant's property and only gives a new key to someone who shows up with a Will naming them as Executor.
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Sorry to hear about Chuck; I am 2 years into my promise of 10 for having the main valve replaced. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and Chuck and I hope everyone who reads this very informative blog takes action at once as well as pass the vital information to all family and friends. . The beginning of life, conception..
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4/23/2013 11:36 am |
Apprecizted Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/23/2013 11:37 am |
Thank you. So far so good. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/23/2013 11:39 am |
Hi Spirit: Poor Chuck. I hope he will be o.k. Many people who live alone in an apartment give a copy of their apartment keys to a family member, thinking that when they die that family member will be able to enter their apartment and take care of things. Not true. The landlord gets in there fast and changes the locks to protect the deceased tenant's property and only gives a new key to someone who shows up with a Will naming them as Executor. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/23/2013 11:41 am |
Sorry to hear about Chuck; I am 2 years into my promise of 10 for having the main valve replaced. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and Chuck and I hope everyone who reads this very informative blog takes action at once as well as pass the vital information to all family and friends. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/23/2013 11:44 am |
We all learn as we go. Thankfully I found about the next of kin thing earlier in the process with a not so serious but still annoying glitch. How policies are interpreted is so subject to the person administering them so it is best to know how the legalities work. This one particular nurse was the only one who has ever questioned my role in things. Spiritwoman ^i^
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