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Profiles – It’s All in How You See It. I was reading a profile the other day and was reminded how difficult it really is to present our self in a positive yet realistic light. We try to bring out our best, but it is just that, our best. Reader perception also plays an important part. I got to looking at how I describe myself. Situation I own a house and property and via family resources have access to 3 other houses and properties in 3 states should I choose to live in any of them. However, I have never been a materialistic person. When I found myself on my own I moved into my RV. At the moment I share a double wide mobile home in a park out in a remote canyon. My investment here is one of physical presence and energy. All material things belong to my companion. I gave away most of my furniture and possessions etc. because they were encumbrances. I do own a sports car, primarily because I have a lifelong passion for performance cars and driving them as they were meant to be driven. I describe this as living an alternative life style by choice that fits my non materialistic values and desire to live as a free spirit. Tome it sounds really positive. Looking at the same information in a negative context a friend s a friend described it as I moved up a notch from living in an RV on the empty back lot to sharing a double wide with a sick old man and a cat, 40 miles from civilization. I describe my lifestyle as “alternative” meaning that I do not follow social norms. I have had some very interesting interpretations of what “alternative” means. At times I feel the need to “no whips and handcuffs please”. I am and have long been a practicing pagan. I describe this as having strong spiritual beliefs and a significant spiritual practice. Since society does recognize my leadership in my group and my “ordination” I could use the title of Reverend legally and appropriately. Contrast that to how less educated, enlightened and / or tolerant people describe me as witch. Quite a difference in presentation should I choose to use either in a profile. I could go on but I think you can see my point. All even the best profile can only give some topics for discussion, hopefully about the things that are most important to us and even that is subject to the interpretation of the reader and / or listener. Maybe the only profile not subject to verbal misinterpretation would be a completely blank one. Even then there would be endless conclusions and misinterpretations drawn over why it was blank. Spiritwoman ^i^ |
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7/9/2012 12:27 am |
Oh, I've been called a Witch before, too.( something Catholics, Baptists, Christians and the like... claim they see clearly in my eyes). Secure people just always compliment me on having beautiful icy blue eyes.( a compliment I never get tired of) Pay those fearful people no mind at all. Most of them have mental problems anyway. I definitely agree with your last statement in your post. A few have met me with a barrage of questions but I just answer them honestly and usually they are satisfied. People have a tendency to be naturally curious sometimes because of things they might not understand or what seems slightly out of their norm....It's all good. Profiles only expose minute particles of the big picture.
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You wrote: "Judging from the emails I'd received, not one person read it anyway." I have to totally agree with this. Though I make it perfectly clear in my profile that I am involved in a long term relationship with Ann, I still get ladies writing me with a view to getting together. I'm sure that for them to do this, they couldn't have read my profile. Or maybe they have read it and intend ousting Ann from her position.  No chance of that happening.Alfie...
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If that is how a witch is or is supposed to be, then we should have a world full of witches to make it fully habitable. Please continue being what and who you are.  Have a great week ahead  ."To fight the darkness do not draw your sword, light a candle" - Zarathustra
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As a rule I think our profiles are useless..I still get e-mails saying how much alike we are & they want to meet me, when mine very clearly states I have my partner & am only here for friends & blogging. Either they can't see then or they DON'T read them. I do agree everything is open to the interpretation of the reader for sure!If they read at all!  Some believe in destiny, some believe in fate. I believe that happiness is something we create
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7/9/2012 7:59 am |
spirit, I like your define. Can I add? First. Cyber IS! Next the most beautiful starts. As in first appearance or REappearances. Whether prose, images, self portrait picture, (checking it's background for the in the face look, bed etc.) and responses are just a point in time. To garner a broader perspective of a profile (ergo handle) is to look at the posts and responses presented. Taking note of the various lines that are sweet, nice, of tempo (color), mandates (I don't do this or that) and recognize the obvious contradictions. In or out of a blog. Only then is a close proximity of a handle known. Or enough for an opportunity to engage in a dialog, can one feel comfortable in a discourse. My profile IS. I've noted some changes as I meander through sff based on... Many things. Might be time to change it again? I've noted that I've got emails that ask question(s) that I've responded to. And it was suggested I was a scammer. WOW. My interpretation of those are more defense mechanism by them as I ask the questions no one want to hear. So yep. No matter what you say in a profile or response to an email. Some will find anything to.... disengage. OR, engage in a rant that leaves one wondering. Whats up with them?
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7/9/2012 8:26 am |
Hi Spirit: My experience is that the majority of men in these internet dating groups don't read our profiles, as they seem to have no clue what we're looking for or who we are when they write to us. All they seem to care about is our pics. I think it's the same in real life for most of the men. Looks are everything to them.
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7/9/2012 9:08 am |
Know what you mean. I am constantly updating mine to try to keep all of the bases covered. Spiritwoman ^i^
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7/9/2012 9:13 am |
Oh, I've been called a Witch before, too.( something Catholics, Baptists, Christians and the like... claim they see clearly in my eyes). Secure people just always compliment me on having beautiful icy blue eyes.( a compliment I never get tired of) Pay those fearful people no mind at all. Most of them have mental problems anyway. I definitely agree with your last statement in your post. A few have met me with a barrage of questions but I just answer them honestly and usually they are satisfied. People have a tendency to be naturally curious sometimes because of things they might not understand or what seems slightly out of their norm....It's all good. Profiles only expose minute particles of the big picture. Spiritwoman ^i^
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7/9/2012 9:14 am |
I love your mother's saying. I will remember and use it as it is so perfect. Spiritwoman ^i^
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7/9/2012 9:17 am |
You wrote: "Judging from the emails I'd received, not one person read it anyway." I have to totally agree with this. Though I make it perfectly clear in my profile that I am involved in a long term relationship with Ann, I still get ladies writing me with a view to getting together. I'm sure that for them to do this, they couldn't have read my profile. Or maybe they have read it and intend ousting Ann from her position. /:> /:> /:> /:> No chance of that happening. Alfie... Spiritwoman ^i^
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7/9/2012 9:21 am |
Don't sell yourself short. Your comments are understood perfectly. We all see, hear read etc. through the filters of our experiences, even when we try our best to see things as they are. Same goes for writing descriptions. You are correct about pagans being no happier or sadder than others but more accepting of our environments. Spiritual belief systems do just that - they do not change things, just help us accept and manage what is. Spiritwoman ^i^
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7/9/2012 9:25 am |
If that is how a witch is or is supposed to be, then we should have a world full of witches to make it fully habitable. Please continue being what and who you are. Have a great week ahead .Spiritwoman ^i^
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7/9/2012 9:34 am |
I doubt anyone could figure out where and how I live at the moment. Being a true free spirit my situation is subject to change on a whim. I maintain my RV as my permanent base but am seldom there. I don't want the encumbrance of anything more. I am able to be me and continue life living life on my own terms no matter where my body rests in the moment. Being a true free spirit the moment includes meeting the challenges or accepting the "assignments" the universe sends my way. Fortunately my life is primarily internal and other worldly so where and how my body rests at any given moment in this world makes little difference. Current living situation is the best example. This situation presented itself during a short gap between my other assignments. My energy and spirit were and still are needed here and since my personal needs are simple I can manage just about anywhere. When I am no longer needed here things will change in a flash and I will move on to where I am needed next. This incarnation is one of service to others, for me to learn as much as I can about that. Spiritwoman ^i^
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7/9/2012 9:37 am |
The thought has come to me, especially when someone mentions one of these e-mails and we realize most of us got the same one, that the scammers must have some sort of software program that generates these things from our handles. I fail to see how they could get enough of whatever they are looking for the make the effort worth their time but the world is a strange place. Spiritwoman ^i^
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7/9/2012 9:38 am |
spirit, I like your define. Can I add? First. Cyber IS! Next the most beautiful starts. As in first appearance or REappearances. Whether prose, images, self portrait picture, (checking it's background for the in the face look, bed etc.) and responses are just a point in time. To garner a broader perspective of a profile (ergo handle) is to look at the posts and responses presented. Taking note of the various lines that are sweet, nice, of tempo (color), mandates (I don't do this or that) and recognize the obvious contradictions. In or out of a blog. Only then is a close proximity of a handle known. Or enough for an opportunity to engage in a dialog, can one feel comfortable in a discourse. My profile IS. I've noted some changes as I meander through sff based on... Many things. Might be time to change it again? I've noted that I've got emails that ask question(s) that I've responded to. And it was suggested I was a scammer. WOW. My interpretation of those are more defense mechanism by them as I ask the questions no one want to hear. So yep. No matter what you say in a profile or response to an email. Some will find anything to.... disengage. OR, engage in a rant that leaves one wondering. Whats up with them? Spiritwoman ^i^
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7/9/2012 9:39 am |
As a rule I think our profiles are useless..I still get e-mails saying how much alike we are & they want to meet me, when mine very clearly states I have my partner & am only here for friends & blogging. Either they can't see then or they DON'T read them. I do agree everything is open to the interpretation of the reader for sure!If they read at all! Spiritwoman ^i^
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7/9/2012 9:53 am |
Hi Spirit: My experience is that the majority of men in these internet dating groups don't read our profiles, as they seem to have no clue what we're looking for or who we are when they write to us. All they seem to care about is our pics. I think it's the same in real life for most of the men. Looks are everything to them. Spiritwoman ^i^
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7/9/2012 11:24 am |
My observations are exactly. Can't find too much fault with that though as With the passing of time I moved from wanting desperately to fall in love, to being neutral and finally to while not excluding the possibility not being sure I can or want to any more. Spiritwoman ^i^
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7/10/2012 8:01 am |
I have learned over the years to read between the lines of profiles, and believe I have a pretty good idea of what a person is like. If there isn't enough information, one can always ask for more. My lifestyle was certainly off-putting to many women. They figured I was either a miser or a con artist because I didn't own all the stuff an upper middle class gent of my vintage is supposed to have. I owned no real estate, drove a 15 year old Corolla, and lived in a very modest rental unit.
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