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If You Ask Nicely In our current culture of demanding and insisting on having things our own way it is amazing at how easy getting people to cooperate actually is if you just ask nicely. Case in point. The park where I am staying went from being adults (55+) to a family park in the past year. My status is “permanent guest” so I have no say in matters but on a personal level I welcomed the change as I never wanted to live in an age (or for that matter any sort of) exclusive community. Circumstance brought me here and I make the best of it. I like diversity and my lifestyle and interests are more generic than most in my age group It’s summer and the pool is active. Since are no longer restricted to certain hours it is very different than previously. Last year it was “controlled” by a group of elderly women who stood in the water talking. If anyone actually swam near them they complained to the management that people were interfering with their enjoyment of the facilities because if anyone splashed them it got their hair wet. I made sure I did my work outs when they were not there. Others who chose to use the pool to actually swim got into frequent confrontations with “the group”. I know most people would think swimming laps would be more difficult with sharing the pool but not so. The are wonderfully cooperative. When things got busy in the spring I took the time to talk to the and explain what I was doing and asked them if they would mind giving me a clear path along the far wall. No problem. They were perfectly happy to play in the 90% of the rest of the pool. Word spread to the other and when they see me coming in my work out suit and gear they remind each other that “the lady is here and we all enjoy the facility. Leaving a lane along the wall for others who want to swim for exercise has become the informal policy. It was so easy to accomplish a workable solution just by explaining and asking nicely. The grumpy old ladies? I haven’t seen them all season. Spiritwoman ^i^ |
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7/7/2012 10:26 pm |
Top by bra size - speedo or Niki bottom. I really swim so need something that stays put which most of the standard types so not. Spiritwoman ^i^
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Our local pool has been closed for this year. The disability features have to be upgraded, we intended using it more this year, but no chance now. Alfie...
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7/8/2012 5:54 am |
You chose to ignore the old grumpies and talk to the kids. Asking nicely, under the right circumstances, usually works. 
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I agree! Sugar works sooo much better than vinegar!!
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7/8/2012 7:31 am |
Kids are great when adults deal with them in a positive manner. (the majority of them). Old women in the pool, lol. I have a sister like that.She floats like a whale on her raft in her pool and constantly has a wig on, claims she has the pool for her grandchildren but doesn't allow them to splash by her. What fun is that for kids at Gram's house? She doesn't go in the pool up where she has her camp. (same complaints about the kids in the pool, yet she doesn't like the grumps of the soecial society there either). I think she needs to take that wig off and give her brain some air to breathe. She even sleeps in it and has many. Maybe she's bald under there, who knows. I don't know why she cares so much about her 'hair'.Seeing her in a bathing suit takes focus away from her head anyway. (if you know what I mean? and I am not being mean).Anyway, the reflection could blind you.
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Amusing to visualize a group standing in the pool guarding their coifs but had to be damn annoying for others.
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7/8/2012 9:19 am |
More like splashed their hair - or perhaps it was just the mere anticipation of the fact that they might get their hair wet. Spiritwoman ^i^
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7/8/2012 9:21 am |
Some may have - in both ways. There have been several people move if they were able to sell their coaches once they knew there would be children in the park. Spiritwoman ^i^
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7/8/2012 9:24 am |
Our local pool has been closed for this year. The disability features have to be upgraded, we intended using it more this year, but no chance now. Alfie... Spiritwoman ^i^
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7/8/2012 9:26 am |
You chose to ignore the old grumpies and talk to the kids. Asking nicely, under the right circumstances, usually works. Spiritwoman ^i^
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7/8/2012 9:27 am |
I agree! Sugar works sooo much better than vinegar!! Spiritwoman ^i^
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7/8/2012 9:29 am |
Oh does this bring back memories of my days as a site manager. Those few who did not want to work no matter what sure gobbled up far more of my time and energy then anything contributions they made to getting the over all job done. Spiritwoman ^i^
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7/8/2012 9:33 am |
Kids are great when adults deal with them in a positive manner. (the majority of them). Old women in the pool, lol. I have a sister like that.She floats like a whale on her raft in her pool and constantly has a wig on, claims she has the pool for her grandchildren but doesn't allow them to splash by her. What fun is that for kids at Gram's house? She doesn't go in the pool up where she has her camp. (same complaints about the kids in the pool, yet she doesn't like the grumps of the soecial society there either). I think she needs to take that wig off and give her brain some air to breathe. She even sleeps in it and has many. Maybe she's bald under there, who knows. I don't know why she cares so much about her 'hair'.Seeing her in a bathing suit takes focus away from her head anyway. (if you know what I mean? and I am not being mean).Anyway, the reflection could blind you. Also reminds me of swimming at a local community pool a few years ago. Due to my schedule I usually swam when the seniors did. One lady in particular would get into one lane, talk a while, move on to the next, do the same all the way across the pool and back then get out. A friend and I used to giggle over the fact that she probably told her doctor she got plenty of exercise "swimming" every day. Spiritwoman ^i^
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7/8/2012 9:36 am |
As well as keeping us current on so many things we would overlook if we only associate with our peers. This is the first time in my life I have not been directly with children. I went from being the oldest of a large brood to having my own children then grands entered the household before the last of mine were gone. I don't think I have completely adjusted to not living with their "action". Spiritwoman ^i^
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7/8/2012 9:38 am |
I used to swim at a pool that had similar schedules oly I chose the night times. I am such a night person I would likely drown if I swam at 6 AM - that is assuming that there really still is a 6 AM. I am told there is but I haven't seen it lately. Spiritwoman ^i^
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7/8/2012 11:48 am |
I used to swim at a pool that had similar schedules oly I chose the night times. I am such a night person I would likely drown if I swam at 6 AM - that is assuming that there really still is a 6 AM. I am told there is but I haven't seen it lately. Kinda like the drinkers refrain. It's five o'clock somewhere. An aside. You wrap you situations in words that are palatable. Others don't have that capability.... and get nailed for them.
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7/8/2012 12:12 pm |
Hi Spirit: People find the most petty things to complain about. Those women are probably jealous of you so they find something to complain about hoping to get you thrown out of the pool. The women in the seniors building where I live find fault with everything. It's too hot in the hall, too cold in the hall, someone has a boyfriend who stays the night, someone had the gall to do their laundry on a Sunday, on and on you would not believe. One woman said I was not a good 'Christian' (HaHa if she only knew I'm not a Christian at all), all because I wore sparkly clothes and drove a red car. When I first moved here I just happened to overhear one woman gossiping about me "What's she doing here?" OMG what intolerance.
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Talking nicely always works. Not just once but I have seen many times in the trickiest of the situations. That includes negotiations with the rebels, renegades or even hijackers; with all of them, though, one has to maintain a very firm and a polite approach. I am sure those grumpy old simply guarding their turf rather than the coifs. I bet it is the kids who put them in their place. Have a wonderful week ahead, My friend.  "To fight the darkness do not draw your sword, light a candle" - Zarathustra
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7/8/2012 5:48 pm |
6am? How many time zones are there? Kinda like the drinkers refrain. It's five o'clock somewhere. An aside. You wrap you situations in words that are palatable. Others don't have that capability.... and get nailed for them. Spiritwoman ^i^
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7/8/2012 5:50 pm |
Talking nicely always works. Not just once but I have seen many times in the trickiest of the situations. That includes negotiations with the rebels, renegades or even hijackers; with all of them, though, one has to maintain a very firm and a polite approach. I am sure those grumpy old simply guarding their turf rather than the coifs. I bet it is the kids who put them in their place. Have a wonderful week ahead, My friend. Spiritwoman ^i^
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7/8/2012 5:52 pm |
Hi Spirit: People find the most petty things to complain about. Those women are probably jealous of you so they find something to complain about hoping to get you thrown out of the pool. The women in the seniors building where I live find fault with everything. It's too hot in the hall, too cold in the hall, someone has a boyfriend who stays the night, someone had the gall to do their laundry on a Sunday, on and on you would not believe. One woman said I was not a good 'Christian' (HaHa if she only knew I'm not a Christian at all), all because I wore sparkly clothes and drove a red car. When I first moved here I just happened to overhear one woman gossiping about me "What's she doing here?" OMG what intolerance. Spiritwoman ^i^
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7/9/2012 8:17 am |
I especially love the Christian thing. It seems to stop many dead in their tracks when I respond that I am not one. If they push further and I admit to being a pagan that usually does it. There is so much misconception about us that I think they fear I will turn them into a toad or something.
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