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jiminycricket1 74M
5508 posts
3/11/2020 9:52 am
The Bachelor


Over the last couple weeks I have watched"Love Is Blind" on Netflix, and "The Bachelor"

It was a great diversion, from figuring hate figuring out love..

I thought each show proved a point.....about love.. How blindness is not something you can know about other's.. It's in the eye of the beholder.

The Bachelor....
You don't find love...You discover love...It doesn't matter if you think it's one in million, or a sure thing..
Hannah FOUND her love..what a mess that is..Madison, was trying discover it.. and Peter didn't have a clue...On face value it's was easy for Peter choose Hannah because she FOUND him..but there ain't no happily ever after, there. If Madison could discover it with Peter.. it would stand a much better chance.. but yet Hannah was so perfect.. even Peters mother thought so. but Peter's mother never realized.. it ain't her peter
Yet, Peter in his safe world, choose Hannah..Which by Love's standards is a double down on disaster.. but the truth is, which Peter may never find out..That the only face value is the one in the mirror.


jiminycricket1 74M
13732 posts
3/11/2020 10:35 am

Love is Blind..

The truth and Lie of it.. is all truth.. Love makes Us blind, so the truth can blind Us

And again finding Love is not as important as discovering love..

The premise of the show was not to be able to see someone.. and find out if you could love them or not..Six men, Six women talking to each other for six days.. never seeing them..and then pairing off..

Well, you can throw out love is blind.. because they picked six beautiful people (by looks) of each gender.. So there was not going to be any disappointment there

The premise after that.. was thirty days together before a wedding day.. to either say I do, or I don't... Two couples said I do..an amazing feat as they would have been one's choice to have to overcome some of the greatest obstacles..they weren't quite "made for each other".. The irony was in those situation it appeared to me the man was more "in control" of the situation..even if it appeared the women were.
When the women were in control.. the shit hit the fan. all the men were left stumbling and bumbling..One even said I don't...He was all in at the beginning.. all in at the end.. but right before his answer.. he realized she made him stumbling and bumbling.. hIs NO piss her off..... when she said i do and he said i don't.... He did the right thing.. because the post script is they are now together.
There was another... that you'd think was the "perfect couple" everything fell into place....she seemed all in, he totally was all in..Her family was all in and his family was all in... but she would not relinquish her control, and he would not TAKE control.. She thought LOVE was her relinquishing control, and she couldn't do it. So It couldn't be love..But she said.. we can still be friends.. Post script.. they don't even speak to each other.


sparkleflit 76F
10271 posts
3/11/2020 7:20 pm

I'm so glad to let go of romantic relationships....My 2 great loves have passed into the ether and the idea of intimacy leaves me flat
A year ago I had a very weird romantic adventure that made me realize that I was done. There was this man that I encountered once a week for a couple of hours..It was so intense it was painful. It was in a group. He was as excited as I was and it became intrusive....There was nothing wrong with his behaviour, it was just too intense for me........In the past I would have said that I was "falling" for him....I couldn't catch my breath around him and he, responding to my obvious excitement, hovered........Eventually I asked him very firmly to leave me alone.....We are just now starting to be able to be around each other again.......I would like a male friend, but I have no use for that level of excitement....all the kinks and knots we have to work out....the hurt feelings and misunderstandings to smooth over......nope.


Shartaun03 81F
6196 posts
3/11/2020 11:04 pm

The Bachelor had a weird ending. Peter should have never proposed to Hannah Ann as he was torn between Hannah Ann and Madison. In actual fact maybe Peter and Madison deserve each other. So guess time will tell what will happen down the road for the two of them. I have watched The Bachelor series from day one. Each year the scenarios seem to get worse.


jiminycricket1 74M
13732 posts
3/12/2020 7:31 am

    Quoting sparkleflit:
    I'm so glad to let go of romantic relationships....My 2 great loves have passed into the ether and the idea of intimacy leaves me flat
    A year ago I had a very weird romantic adventure that made me realize that I was done. There was this man that I encountered once a week for a couple of hours..It was so intense it was painful. It was in a group. He was as excited as I was and it became intrusive....There was nothing wrong with his behaviour, it was just too intense for me........In the past I would have said that I was "falling" for him....I couldn't catch my breath around him and he, responding to my obvious excitement, hovered........Eventually I asked him very firmly to leave me alone.....We are just now starting to be able to be around each other again.......I would like a male friend, but I have no use for that level of excitement....all the kinks and knots we have to work out....the hurt feelings and misunderstandings to smooth over......nope.
I have spent a lifetime..Digging for Love's treasure in the wrong places. Looking for Love in the wrong faces.

Getting old is truly the trial of one life.. A losing battle if you fight it..A losing battle if you accept it.. Like most thing.. I don't know the answer.. Just the question.. they are for you to answer..I have none

There are some things I know.. that I have to believe are applicable to most people.. I wish I knew the people they weren't applicable.. to better be able to answer my own questions. Many people believe In a God that provides their answer.. but it's a God i can't believe in for convenience. But, i don't fault them either.

Anyway, for me, It's more about how i accept it than fight it..There is nothing more painful than to lose something you have taken for granted your entire life.
Except for maybe.. the realization that rainbows have no end.. And you've spent your entire life chasing rainbows. Love is one of those things for me..
The troubles of chasing that rainbow are too many. I miss seeing the colors of a Rainbow, So that Love can be a many splendid thing. Instead I searched for a pot of gold. Yet, still, it was all there in front of me..
People will tell me .. It's never too late.. But those people haven't gotten old yet.
So..I ignore them and just accept it.. Deal with what I can.
Anyway, I can relate to YOU..
Just because you know you've been looking in the wrong places.. doesn't really tell you what right places are. You can't see it...when it seems the rain never stops...and the rainbows never appeared

Love is not a raging fire
That's required to be fueled
Love is not a burning desire
A feelings that can be fooled

Love is not the measure
of what's gotten in return
Love is not a buried treasure
It's map can not be learned

Love is but a private feat
That nobody can own
It hears the sound of a heartbeat
That says... you're not alone.


jiminycricket1 74M
13732 posts
3/12/2020 8:15 am

    Quoting Shartaun03:
    The Bachelor had a weird ending. Peter should have never proposed to Hannah Ann as he was torn between Hannah Ann and Madison. In actual fact maybe Peter and Madison deserve each other. So guess time will tell what will happen down the road for the two of them. I have watched The Bachelor series from day one. Each year the scenarios seem to get worse.
Peter and Hannah were playing a love game..It wasn't real.

Peter had no choice in the matter..except to stop playing.

With Madison.. Peter was playing for real....but he was still playing.
I am not a woman so i don't know what the heck Madison was doing.. but it appeared to me she was doing the same as Peter..
So what does that mean about Peter and Madison chances?
Is there a chance? maybe...IF They both can let the other win..
I don't know how Madison will handle it.. But Peter is conflicted. His relationship with Hannah shows me that...Both of them are people pleasers.. who don't have a clue..about when in conflict.. how to please themselves. They expect someone else needs to do it. Peter was looking for Hannah and Madison to make his decision for him.. That was a bad idea.
Peter, in actuality, lacked commitment.. Commitment to his own decisions. His two choices were, not about which was the right one.. but about the wrong one.. so it didn't. matter..Having two choices was his get out of jail..Free Card.
Love is....BLIND.. well maybe not blind.. but it is Blinding..


jiminycricket1 74M
13732 posts
3/12/2020 8:45 am

Some people would answer the question by saying they can no longer trust somebody with their LOVE. too much trouble.. too much pain.. not worth it..

So whether you Trust in God..or can't Trust others.. I do not wish to pass judgment on that... But for me personally, that's all bullshit.

My pain, my trouble, my understanding and my acceptance..
Is I can't TRUST myself with LOVE.
I got a whole lot of reasons to know what it isn't...But to know what it is..I have no reason to trust my answer about that..........SAD but True.

You take love with you as long as you live
when it's not what you get, but what you give

It's confusing, I know, unless you heed
it's something you have ..not what you need
To need someone is just a fact
Unless you can't need,
without being needed back.


sparkleflit 76F
10271 posts
3/15/2020 3:38 pm

    Quoting jiminycricket1:
    I have spent a lifetime..Digging for Love's treasure in the wrong places. Looking for Love in the wrong faces.

    Getting old is truly the trial of one life.. A losing battle if you fight it..A losing battle if you accept it.. Like most thing.. I don't know the answer.. Just the question.. they are for you to answer..I have none

    There are some things I know.. that I have to believe are applicable to most people.. I wish I knew the people they weren't applicable.. to better be able to answer my own questions. Many people believe In a God that provides their answer.. but it's a God i can't believe in for convenience. But, i don't fault them either.

    Anyway, for me, It's more about how i accept it than fight it..There is nothing more painful than to lose something you have taken for granted your entire life.
    Except for maybe.. the realization that rainbows have no end.. And you've spent your entire life chasing rainbows. Love is one of those things for me..
    The troubles of chasing that rainbow are too many. I miss seeing the colors of a Rainbow, So that Love can be a many splendid thing. Instead I searched for a pot of gold. Yet, still, it was all there in front of me..
    People will tell me .. It's never too late.. But those people haven't gotten old yet.
    So..I ignore them and just accept it.. Deal with what I can.
    Anyway, I can relate to YOU..
    Just because you know you've been looking in the wrong places.. doesn't really tell you what right places are. You can't see it...when it seems the rain never stops...and the rainbows never appeared

    Love is not a raging fire
    That's required to be fueled
    Love is not a burning desire
    A feelings that can be fooled

    Love is not the measure
    of what's gotten in return
    Love is not a buried treasure
    It's map can not be learned

    Love is but a private feat
    That nobody can own
    It hears the sound of a heartbeat
    That says... you're not alone.
I very much like what you said here, especially the poem. I have been thinking about the people I have loved and those In my life right now that I love. It How the love of friends and family are different from the love of a lover.....In order to observe how sexuality enters and what it blurs......What it hides. I have always been an intensely sexual person and it ruled most of my life......In my 40s I did a lot of therapy....child sexual abuse issues. My therapist told me I couldn't work on those issues if I was in a sexual relationship. She said she wouldn't treat me unless I was celibate.

Celibacy was the most difficult thing I have ever done.....harder than living off grid with babies. I thought I was literally going to die from it. Being me, my first
strategy was to do the research...there must be lots of people who had written how-to books about it......Like priests and nuns of many religious orders. Couldn't find anything.....can you believe it? Probably does exist in some esoterica that is only available to those holy orders.....I went to the "Woman's Center" library......surely....but I came up blank. The librarian at the college found a book for me, but when I brought it home it turned out to be about Lesbian sex among Catholic nuns. When I brought it back, I told the librarian that Lesbian sex was still sex.....that it was not celibacy. She flapped her hands and said "how am I supposed to know that?'.......LOL

Anyways, it obviously didn't kill me, and I learned a lot about myself in those celibate years.......