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Love Begins with One's Self It is folly to call a relationship based on desire by the name of love. We like to do this because it all sounds so romantic, but love has nothing to do with it. Genuine love is quite another thing. Only an awakened man or woman can love. *********************** Love is an independent, unconditional, unwavering and unchanging state of being. The thing most humans call "love" is in fact a statement of conditions and expectations that are necessary to create the illusion of "love." The difference is glaringly obvious. *********************** The two statements above were sent to me as quotes that I get daily in my e-mail....This time it was very thought provoking and I thought I would share this with friends at SFF. WE are all looking for love it seems and it would seem from the above statements that one would need to be "awakened" in order to truly know love... I have thought often about whether I truly have ever loved anyone...Because if you love someone as long as their actions are what you desire, but if they are not or they become something that you did not expect, then that "love" could turn to "hate". So was it ever truly love to begin with. Case in point would be my own self for when my first husband left me for another woman, I certainly did not feel much love coming from me concerning the whole issue. But had I truly loved him at the time, I would have wished him happiness, even though it meant that he did not want to be with me....because that is just what "true love" would be capable of doing.... But more than this kind of love that lets go, is the love one developes for one's own self...I don't think that I loved myself very much back then. Now I do moreso, and it seems that myself is very important to me now so much that I am going to have a hard time finding someone (I sometimes think), good enough for myself....Does that sound arrogant or conceited...It is how I feel and along with it comes an attitude that says, "Well if I can't find one like that, I am much better off alone anyway." I think that loving one's own self is really loving God...Because God lives within our hearts and it is within that we seek God...When that connection is made then you just fall in love with yourself, your own God self...If you had someone in you life, someone physical who was special to you, and you called them up at 3 a.m. just to talk, they might get a bit annoyed at you for waking them...But you can talk to your God self any old time, doesn't matter...When the relationship becomes intense enough that you are talking and getting answers as well, then you feel that this inside beingness within you is truly your best friend. Never does this one judge you even though HE knows all your shortcomings. And this one believes in you, encourages you, and you truly feel that nothing you ever did or said would ever change that relationship one bit. Also when you love your own self, suddenly you can look at other people and love them more, even though you may not have any kind of intimacy with them, maybe they are just someone you like to talk with by e-mail... When I became single after my first husband left me, I dated a few men...They all wanted "sex" right off the bat, "first date" din't matter. They were all hung up on thinking that if they could have sex then that somehow restored their feeling of being O.K., but none of these men loved me. They loved sex, is all. And I felt that finding someone to help me raise my was sort of a trade off with these men, like if the sex was good enough, then they might think of loving me and becoming a family with me and my young ...but it was all based soley on sex, and then there was the jealousy issue and all the game playing, twas terrible, very unfulfilling. Yet it was just as much my shortcomings back then as it was theirs, and I can see that now...upon reflection.... So over the last few years I have worked on the issue of loving myself which just naturally became "loving God inside". Now I think sometimes that I would like to find someone special, but even if I don't, having this inside relationship with myself seems to be enough. And getting to talk to others in these blogs is also very satisfying because I feel that I get to share myself, the missing ingredient, for love always desires to extend itself and there were not many outlets for that....but yet, this is one. And I wish to say to those who may read my blogs, even if you never comment, it does not matter. and those who do comment as well as those who don't , just know "I love You". 
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Gracey: I love your blogs!! I understand completely where you are coming from. You see..I took a sabatical from relationships for several years just to work on my personal goals. I was on a mission of self discovery. I too have found so much peace within. And now have come to the conclusion that I will not settle for less then what I feel I deserve in a relationship. Believe it or not...none of what I seek is monetary! Too often people settle and years down the road wonder where time went and why they are not happy. I am a basic and humble person. I don't require much to keep me satisfied. But the things that I do require are honesty, affection, laughter, understanding, ect. Guess you can get the picture. I only want someone that is going to fit into my life without it being an emotional roller coaster. I want someone that has my best interest at heart. If this happens..Wonderful...if not...I will continue to go it alone. Thanks again for your words of wisdom. Bruja The wealth of a soul is measured by how much it can feel; its poverty by how little. W. R. Inge
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