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Women(Right Turn Twilight Zone, Left Turn Outer Limits) Rules for Women??? Listed below is the beginning of a list of what men think, feel, and want. Ladies, your thoughts? 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 2. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 3. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 4. Crying is blackmail. 5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 6. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 8.A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 9. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 10. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 11. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 12. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 13. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. 14. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 15. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 16. If we ask what is wrong and you say ,nothing, we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 17. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 18. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really. 19. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, computers or cars. 20. You have enough clothes. 21. You have too many shoes. 22. I am in shape. Round is a shape. 
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5/26/2007 8:48 pm |
Pretty funny! Hits home with me - especially no. 18
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5/27/2007 3:07 am |
I like #5. Ask for what you want. Men are terrible at reading minds. Or they pretend to be....  "Life Is Too Short To Drink Bad Wine"
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Hi DD, I have experienced #13 a number of times-lol. Then, I'd always ask him to stop so that I could buy some gum. I'd go inside the store and get directions. I don't chew gum, but it was worth the price of a pkg.--lol Take care!!
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5/27/2007 6:05 am |
A few of them don't apply to me. I don't watch sports, I always put the toilet seat down, and I love shopping if it's in thrift shops. A couple of my women friends were embarrassed to go with me until I showed them a couple of the things I got dirt cheap. I got cured of the toilet seat thing early in my marriage when my wife went to the bathroom in the middle of the night and didn't tunr the light on.
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5/28/2007 5:57 am |
So why didn't you learn to put it down? I would, even for someone who wasn't red hot. Seems like simple civility to me. Especially since I've had the experience of dropping my rear into cold water in the middle of the night.
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