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A New World of Dating Welcome to my Blog, You are my guest, make yourself at home, hang up your jacket and your hat and dinner will be served shortly!The atmosphere in my blog is calm and fill with music, the songs of life and rivers of experiences. Sit down and visualize tranquillity and peace, You welcome to join in my blog whenever you can make it. Today we will discuss online dating. But first we will enjoy a meal of steamed basa with orange slices, steamed veggies and a tossed salad, fresh baked buns, and key lime pie for dessert. Tea but coffee if you prefer. *A New World of Dating Positive/negative views on online dating The Internet has always seemed like a completely separate world, very different from reality. There seemed to be so many endless possibilities. One is the new online dating craze, which has caught my attention a number of times. One rainy afternoon, curled up in a blanket at my computer chair, I decided to investigate it. I learned that as many of the baby-boomers start to become widowed or divorced, many are looking for mates, along with many others who are looking for companionship. With the new Internet-Age, many of these individuals turn to their computer to find someone. Online relationships are a growing phenomenon in Canada where I live, the United States as well as internationally. After doing some research I could not develop an opinion on how I felt about this new trend. The Stanford study reported that the more time you spent online the less time you spent in real life. It also showed that as people spend more and more time online they become depressed and lonely,” I interpreted this to mean that even if a person is developing a relationship online they are no longer interacting with reality. They will be drawn to the computer by that relationship forgetting about reality. They are becoming attached to someone who might live across the country and the chances of those two people meeting could be very slim. Also, I determined that if people are becoming lonely as they spend more time online then the relationships they are forming cannot necessarily replace the intimate connection that face to face dating might have. ME  This was an eye opener for me, I noticed that my life was no longer the same and I was losing touch with reality. The only thing that kept me away from the computer was my job. My family was starting to fade into the background an so were my friends.)The Stanford study found that the reason people will spend so much time online, because something is drawing them in. Often the thing that is drawing them in is an online chat room and it is pulling them away from real life.” “When online, the study found that individuals do not have to admit the truth to the people they have conversations with. They can hide behind their computers and not necessarily tell the truth. ME:"I posted something similiar to this just recently about creating images of people. We lie or fluff up the truth ourselves or become a runway model and create a sex symbol that is not our true self!I know this to be true, I myself am guilty of that; I posted a younger picture of myself and then took it off thinking well this is silly what's the point of that? So I've been attempting to upload a real picture of me on my profile but for some reason SFF keeps rejecting it. After that, I started writing articles on honesty and I met far more people in real life from the internet when I got honest with who I really was. Hey and I am not so bad looking in person I'm told." Not telling the truth or being dishonest about one's self also brought up some safety issues. If people are not forced to reveal themselves, then you could be talking to someone who has a history of past sexual assaults, or a serious criminal record, and you would not even know it! ME:" I found that to be the case as well, I recently met, online not in person ( I was going to) a man from Colorado. Don't get me wrong he was a very nice man online. I checked out all his credentials. He did have a real estate licence. He did work where he said he did. I talked to the secretary. She did answered with the name of the estate company he worked with, and yes he was in but busy. I later called his home without him knowing when I was going to call and he did answer.So basically, I felt he was a very honest person. But when I was ready to fly down there to meet him in person,he became very nervous finding excuses. One was he didn't want me to see the crappy vehicle he was driving. I was later to find he was on probation with an ankle monitor and could not pick me up from the airport because it was 3 hours away.It pays to be smart ask the questions or threatened to visit them that usually makes them speak their truth. Never assume all is right just from what they say to you! Check it out! Check your situation. Are you speaking your truth??? What will they see when they arrived at your door or airport?? Hmmmmm??? It's best to be honest and not hide behind the distance. This happened to me recently. I guy just got on a plane and came down for the weekend... Sheech! Thank God I spoke my truth! I had a good time! ME:" Another thing to be careful about, we are all adults do what you must but dating married guys is not my thing unless I somehow get trapped into it. I have had a few experiences with that. They were caught before anything came about. Maybe one sly dawg got away with it but I am a lot smarter now. I was a newbie then and was just getting my feet wet. He knew exactly what he was doing I was later to find out he was a long time member of SFF. So that's when I started researching this online dating stuff. This particular person never gave me his home phone number. If they are really interested in having a good relationship with you and after sometime, they will give out a home phone number. What about their name?? Check that out! One guy got real nervous when I said would you show my your identication?? Driver's licence? Hmmmm. He got really angry. So the red flag went up there real quick!" Married individuals will get online and form a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. They do not feel that they are having an affair, but instead they see it as an escape from their marriage. This has caused many divorces in recent years because the other partner looks at this as cheating. ME:" I just think of how would I feel if that was me in the wife's shoes?? Or how much respect would I really have for myself?? Good gawd there's enough single guys out there looking!" Well the conclusion to this article or visit with me is: the longer I'm online the less I think I'm going to find love here. The internet is great place to form friendships but as far as my life long love, no but I'm forever hopeful so I'll just coast and enjoy the ride!I'm not knocking online dating because I found it a great way to meet people. I've met some exceptionally nice people, men and women. The safest way is to go to the meets and meet them in person. I feel that if you listen to your INTUITION ... you always intuitively know when something is right or wrong for you! I am going to a Reno meet in October ( not from SFF site ) should be real fun. I've been chatting up a storm with these people for almost two years and I am going to finally meet them. I am so excited about that. These people have been a support group for me and I luv them all dearly! I can hardly wait for the hugs!!There will be people from all over the states from NYC to California and Canada! Peace and love Luvshack |
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3/31/2005 12:26 pm |
Oh crap...so what the heck was my point... my mind was going all over the place because this is such a broad topic. I think to come up with an opinion that was my own. So here it is: Online dating is okay for us babyboomers who have been in love at least once in our lives. We are not, I'm sure, going to jump into the fire too quickly. We know what we need from our own experiences for ourselves. So at our age group it is okay to be online and making friends, I'm sort of old fashioned despite the handle of chosen as my online identity for SFF. But I've also come to the conclusion that if you never been in love and have never ever experienced that deep soul love, you might be easily drawn into a relationship that is not good for you This is where I feel concern for the younger crowd who are experiencing a lot of emotional pain over this. I feel as we get older, hopefully we have a better judgement and are more cautious and just want to make friends and see where it goes from there. I am all for that. I myself sincerely feel also I will not find the love of my life online. But cheers to all the friends I meet!! Luvshack
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Wow ....Luvshack that is some article you wrote. I found it very interesting and all the stuff you said is true. I too find this internet thing disheartening and not always cracked up to be what most people think. I think you have to think in reality all the time or otherwise you can really get caught up in it and while the hours of the day just being online. Like Luvshack have made some close friendships (Luvshack is one of them). I was pretty naive when I first was on and thought hey this is really exciting. But found out later that some men in particular were not totally honest. So now I take time to evalulate everything and be more cautious and check people out. Thanks Luv for writing the pros and cons of online dating and also for being a good friend....Shartaun
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4/1/2005 2:30 am |
I'm aware of those other sites to. That's another research topic. I myself have been invited there too. The invite was to cribbage site and the person who invited me, I was later to find was married. I really was saved by my job. I had no time. But I feel for you about the pain that must have caused. So chin up gal! Luvshack!
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4/1/2005 2:34 am |
The post about the cribbage site was to korigan. By the way, welcome to my blog and thank you so much for the response! LS To Shartuan. You some awesome lady! Thank you for being there for me! Luvshack.
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4/1/2005 2:39 am |
Sorry Korigan.. That post about the cribbage site was for you. I forgot to enter you name. Thanks for responding to the article and welcome. To Shartuan, Thank you for being there for me when times were tough and I'm looking forward to sharing more laughs with you. You're an awesome lady and good friend!
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Thanks Luvshack...I love reading your stuff and hey what are friends for if not to be there to lend a shoulder to cry upon..keep on trucking g/f..oops meant writing and I will continue to read....hee hee....Shar
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4/1/2005 5:15 pm |
Hi LuvShack, I Must Tell Ya, Your Ad Did Keep My Intrest... You Had Alot To Get Out And I For One Did/Do Agree On Alot Of Your Personal Points..You Gave Insite On A Womans Point Of View That (some) Of Us Guys Need To Be More Aware Of..( Not Me...I'm "Perfect")....lol... Keep Up The Good Work, And Best Of Luck... You Don't Appear To Be Someones, "April Fool"....
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4/1/2005 5:20 pm |
I cut and pasted the points I wanted to ponder from the one source .. there was many sources for this but I choosed mainly to focus on the Stanford research. Othewise it was far to spread out, and covered way to much topics. Your response adds to the dimensions of it and I'm glad you responded. There are many ways to look at it and I was trying to form my own opinion not cause a debate. I feel I accomplished that. But of course every response is much appreciated. Love and peace Luvshack
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4/1/2005 11:46 pm |
To nosowild, Thank you for you response. Hey, maybe you can tell us the male's point of view in your blog? Love and peace Luvshack
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