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THREE SHORT STORIES No racist intent - no offence meant - pun intended !! Best wishes ... The Jewish Elbow… A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartments. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside and the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3rd Floor. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell. OK?" "Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow? ........." "What . .. . .. .. You're coming empty handed?" Wise Italian Grandfather An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, "Guido, I wanta; you lissina me. I wanta; you to take-a my chrome plated ...38 revolver so you will always remember me." "But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?" "You lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos." "Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, "Times up!"?" Irish blonde... An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland, arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude"; with that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed. "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!!" She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching." MORAL OF THE STORIES NOT ALL IRISH ARE DRUNKS, NOT ALL BLONDES ARE DUMB, ..... BUT ALL MEN...ARE MEN "To fight the darkness do not draw your sword, light a candle" - Zarathustra |
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9/24/2014 11:08 pm |
Yes, they soind like men! especially the last one. Spiritwoman ^i^
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To all three of the kind ladies who recorded their observation and appreciation here. - An apology for delay in response. - Solitaire - glad you found the first one cute.  - SpiritGirl - Lol, they certainly do sound like men, because they are just that.  - Mamannie - I too loved the grandma ! Have a wonderful weekend !! "To fight the darkness do not draw your sword, light a candle" - Zarathustra
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