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Nat Nat the Painter You’ve heard about Ken - the handyman from hell; whose work speed is like being caught in a space time warp where seconds become years, and hanging a picture might take a decade or more. Now meet Nat, the sunshiney painter who is dumber than a bar of soap. A tree has a higher IQ than this cheery fellow. How dumb is he? I’m glad you asked… Our home, (under perpetual construction), was ready to be painted. So after careful consideration of 3 estimates we decided to go with Nat. Nat seemed to have all the credentials; his referrals and his pricing were good…and he has a great sunny smile. He told us it would take about four days and that he worked until six most evenings. (Four days!! To us - Ken from Hell users -, that’s roadrunner fast!) That right there should have been a warning. Terri and I picked three colors for the home… not twelve or five, just three simple colors. Easy right? F*ck. Terri went over the colors half a dozen times with Nat, and even went so far as to mark each wall with a ‘L’, ‘M’, and a ‘D’ for light, medium and dark. Paint by numbers was never this easy. Nat took careful notes, asked questions and was in perfect form when I left him. So why, when I came home in the afternoon was he using the wrong colors on the walls? WHY? Mickey: “Hey Nat! That’s the wrong color man…” Nat: “No it’s not.” Mickey: ‘Yes Nat it is…see the big ‘D’ here? That’s for ‘dark’.” Nat: “No see here…my notes say ‘light color on right side of home’.” Mickey…turning Nat around to face other direction: “How about now?” Nat: “Oh.” No wonder he works till 6 most days. I’m sure it takes him most of the day to open a f*cking can of paint. On top of all of this I hear Ken shout…”Mick! I’ve finished the patio doors!” “About friggin time”, I thought. Me (inspecting doors), “How do they open, Ken?” Ken: “You want them to open?” |
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Too funny!! I'm sure that Nat lives near me-lol !! Have a great day!!
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