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Reading Profiles Ok, can anyone explain why on earth people don't read the profiles all the way through? (Or perhaps, why do they read the profiles and then ignore what is written there?) I know, I know, my profile is long. (I never said anyone had to read it at one sitting.) In it, I am very specific about who I am and what I am looking for. I tell people what turns me off and what I am NOT looking for. And yet... In this week alone, I have received: Three responses in which one of the first things the men have mentioned is how good they are at "oral" (really, at this point, I care more about how well they type, and unless they're doing that trick with their tongues, I don't have to know how oral they are--believe me, they aren't going to get a chance to prove it to me.) My profile states that I don't want sexual details to be the first thing I learn about someone, and I certainly am NOT into sharing sexual details with someone I don't know--and I take a long time getting to know someone. One response from a man almost 20 years younger than me, which by no stretch of the imagination is close to my age, in which he calls me a MILF! If he read my profile and he still thought I was a MILF, it must be because he is looking to have \bsexo?\b with any warm body! I find that hardly flattering. Five from men in other countries, which means they are not "somewhere in my neighborhood". And in almost every case, the men have listed religions which they deem as being "very important" to them which do not match my religion. Just this week in my psych class I was reading about those things that contribute to attraction leading to a successful relationship. I'm sure it will come as no surprise that we are attracted to, and have the greatest chance of a successful relationship with, people who are like us. That is people of a similar age, who have grown up in a similar culture, and who share similar religious/spiritual and political beliefs. Now I know this was not carved in stone and brought down from the mountain, and there are alway exceptions. I have found, though, that this has been pretty much my experience. This is why I've taken the time to post such an extensive profile. I am attracted to people who are like me...and I assume that others will be attracted to people who are like them, so I'm saying, "THIS is what I am like". When a man reads my profile and isn't like me and still contacts me touting how dissimilar we are, it comes off as being presumptuous. It is as if he's saying, "Cat, you think you know what you are looking for, but I know better than you!" How much of a chance do you think I should give him to prove that to me? |
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11/23/2006 3:36 pm |
Wow, you got nine replies in one week. I haven't had that many since I joined this group months ago. I wonder how many replies the other women are getting???
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11/23/2006 8:09 pm |
Bijou, you just reminded me that I need to be thankful that I am getting responses! Thanks for the reminder.
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11/23/2006 8:10 pm |
No, unfortunately, I'm betting I wouldn't be amazed. Isn't that sad?
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11/23/2006 8:11 pm |
Thanks, Teresa. I checked out your blog. There should be a "Scammer Central" here to help us separate the real from the phonies.
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I have had the same experiences not just here but on other sites before coming here also. Usually three or four a week are FAR away, one got really rude because I said I was looking for someone closer to me to spend time getting to know..he cussed me out and said I must not be really sincere about finding someone. I wrote back and said...please read my profile.....you are definitely not who I am looking for. RED Good Luck to you CatSansNom Some believe in destiny, some believe in fate. I believe that happiness is something we create 
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11/24/2006 9:11 am |
Thanks, Red. I guess it confuses me how a guy who acts the way you've told about thinks he is helping his cause. (But then, sadly enough, there are women who put up with abusive behavior all the time--I hope though that most of them aren't subject to it until they've been involved with the man for a while. I wish you luck too.
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