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My Printer Today my printer died. It went kicking and screaming into the maelstrom of oblivity; but not before we kissed and hugged and swore eternal fidelity. How it happened was this; it refused to accept a command to print from the computer. --Kind of like an obstinate asserting its independence.-- So...after slapping it on the back the side and its spindly legged bottom with no results I turned to the computer itself to bring this unruly frump into line. From the start menu I went to Command Prompt and went through all the cajoling and pleading outlined in that program, but the little Imp remained adamant about refusing to print. So I began petting it and patting it in sensitive places that I thought it would enjoy. Went so far as to promise it new ink cartridges if it would just print this one tiny little 5000 word document that I'd been working on since the dawn of creation. But it wasn't impressed at all. (I guess I'd promised it too many ink cartridges in the past without delivering them. It just sat there smug in its deviltry.) So back to the Command Prompt program I traveled and this time the little rascal grudgingly and grumpily consented to spit out a page of gibberish. AHA! I beamed. And flung it in the air while a joyous aria from Carmen spewed from my lungs. Upon catching it and cradling it in my arms with tears of exultation and superiority, I gave it a new command to print. I don't know if it didn't like being tossed in the air or the aria from Carmen, but it maliciously grabbed up about 6 sheets of paper and put itself into a spiteful jam which I couldn't unjam easily. After I heroically pulled those miscreant sheets from the machine and tried to print a new page, I discovered to my everlasting sorrow that the paper feed mechanism was broken. It just clicked and growled and ground its teeth in utter disregard for my loyal ministrations over the many years we cohabited. With broken heart I cuddled it and spoke lovingly into its paper carriage of all the great times we had together and that I would always cherish its memory until death do us part. Then I threw it in the corner and bought a new printer. |
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Have you introduced the old one to the new one so the old one can give it advice and tell the new one about what a nice man you are??? This was really cute, I would have been kicking and screaming and definitely not using such nice loving words about it. Apparently you have had it for quite awhile. It would love knowing how much you "loved" it. haha Ann 
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9/16/2006 10:38 am |
You have a flare for writing. That was a narrative worth reading. I enjoyed it. Peatrie
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9/16/2006 11:01 am |
What a story!! I could relate one something like it, but not with the grace and good humour you used to compliment your faithful old printer! (I used to use that approach when my car wouldn't start!) Very well written! Give us more! 
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9/16/2006 12:00 pm |
 Hi,I loved this story...funny  You really get Ahhh up close and personal with you're machine!  Just kidding, but I really did enjoy it. Have an awesome day, take care and God Bless You.Love and ~Pam and  ~Pam & SunshinePain & suffering are inevititable, but misery is optional.
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