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A Free Trip to Hawaii costs only about $250 Lets set the groundwork here, grab something to drink, some cheese doodles or whatever, and here we go. I drive a big ass Dodge 4x4 truck, 6" lift, 35" tires, loud exhausts, you've all seen the truck right? Bought it in December, so it's in pretty good shape still with only 8000 miles on it so far. As I pulled in to the Toyota Dealer, I could see sales people, similar to a school of sharks, circling the sales floor nervously waiting for the next victim.(Insert JAWS theme here) I park in 2 places because theres no way I get out without running over someone's car, and open the door. Damn near hit the sales guy in the head with the door. (crap I missed) He introduces himself as I step out of the truck, and realized I stepped down flatfooted without jumping down. He's already pulling a business card out of his shirt and trying to shake my hand before I can close the door. This guy is a good foot shorter than I am, and I can see the hair gel melting from him sweating in the sun from my vantage point above him.(yuck)I explained what I was here for, that I was not trading in my truck, and was just here for my free gift as he "escorted" me to the Receptionists desk to wait for the next clown. Meantime theyre still circling. (see above for music)I hear a click of heels on the tile floor behind me. (secretly hoping for long legs, miniskirt, independently wealthy) As I turn around was seriously disappointed by a guy in Gucci loafers, dockers with crooked teeth and TicTac breath. Mr crooked teeth introduces himself and immediately asks me for my keys do he can appraise my truck for its value on a trade in. I turned around as I heard my alarm going off and my key ring begin buzzing in my back pocket. One of their people tried to open the door to my truck!(I knew I should have brought the dogs) I calmly informed him to remove his employee from the vicinity of my truck before something bad happens(not quite that nice). Now on my truck there is also an electric "Air Horn" just like on the Firetrucks that is also connected to the alarm. Guess what goes off next, because the guy outside goes to the passenger side and tries to open that door. Well he hustles out the door taking his breath with him, and starts yelling over the air horn to leave the truck alone. I slowly walk to the door, remove the clicker from my pocket, raise my arm and all is quiet again. TicTac breath comes back, apologizes and asks for my keys again. (Huge deep breath on my part) I inform him that I am not trading in my truck (again), and that I was here for the Survey and Free Gift. Nothing else, so lets get going I have things to do. A harumph comes out of him, and he explains that's not how the program works. I had made a copy of the letter(front & back), and that was how it was going to happen or bring me the GM so I can report their employee for attempting to break into my truck(Its all on video), and for him trying to jack me for my keys. After about 30 seconds he agrees and we go take a test drive in a truck that I could have put in the back of mine like a spare tire. I guess it's nice enough little vehicle if you dont haul anything but some groceries or a dirt bike maybe. I have to admit the A/C worked great until I floored it and it shut off to give the engine the extra power it needed for heavy acceleration. Now there were no squealing tires accompanying the flooring of the accelerator, nada , zip, bupkus. This was the first vehicle I have ever driven that slowed down if you used the turn signal. Were heading back to the dealership in this thing as my clicker begins buzzing in my back pocket again, and from about a block away I hear an Air Horn. I dont see any Firetrucks, but I definately hear the Air Horn. As we pull in I see 2 people wearing the dealership's sales uniforms stop trying to open the cover on the back of my truck and quickly start walking away, and go back inside. I pulled up to the front stairs and got out of the truck and walked inside leaving TicTac breath still trying to get his seat belt off. I also didnt turn off my alarm, and asked the receptionist which way to the GM's office, and told her he was expecting me. I headed that way and surprise, surprise, he met me in the hallway. We had a CONVERSATION. I spoke and he nodded a lot, and when it was over I got my truck washed, my "FREE GIFT", and a gift certificate for $25 for On the Border. (great more mexican food & margaritas) I did finally turn off the alarm so we could speak easier, and I left happy and was only there for half an hour. Not too bad, except I'll have to pay the taxes and fees for the trip, but at least Ive got a year to use it. |
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7/26/2006 5:31 pm |
I remember winning a "free" Florida vacation about 15 years ago....that freebee would have costs me $250 back then. You should be writing a column somewhere...you've got the talent.
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This had me laughing out loud over and over! Definitely you should be writing professionally! Ann 
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7/26/2006 6:22 pm |
hahahahahaha............great post. in defense of those small trucks, and i do think mine slows down when i use the blinker, come to think of it, i am sure it costs me a heckuva lot less to fill up at the pump than yours. right now, that's important to me. 
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7/26/2006 7:27 pm |
 lol...cute post.
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