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FiretUCKS and those Challenging Medical Procedures! I've enjoyed good health for most of my life but upon turning 60, that has changed. A few years ago, I went to the doctor for a problematic hip. She checked my heart and suddenly, I found myself in ICU for arrhythmia. I have to have blood tests every three months and it is usually a high school student who is just learning. I am all for contributing to the future success of a young person but they usually have to ask for help and my arms have begun to feel like a voodoo doll full of pins. So last month, a young man called my name for the lab. I thought, "Oh No! Here we go again!" The young man checked one arm and decided to check the other arm for a better vein. He got it right the first time. Hee Haw! It turned out he was 20 years old, already graduated from High School with plans to attend Nursing School. Last year, I went to the hospital as an outpatient for a hip injection. I explain to the Physician that if the procedure got too painful, I tend to say FiretUCK instead of the F-Word. There was a period of INTENSE discomfort and I said FiretUCK one time. Earlier this morning, I had to go to the outpatient for the same procedure. There were a lady physician and her assistant. She explained the procedure to me. I let know her that "last year was a one FiretrUCK procedure, how I replace FiretrUCK with the F-Word, that I was confident that women are better at this procedure than men." The women laughed, and the assistant remarked, considering the location of the injection, that is most likely true. We talked about her cat and my plants. Lo and behold, It was a "No FiretrUCK" procedure. Woot Woot! Life does have its surprises. Next month, I am going to Philadelphia and Washington D.C. for a lobbying adventure. I am grateful that I don't have to be hobbling on Capital Hill and navigating the Congressional/Senate Buildings with a cane. I've done it before. It's not fun. THAT merits a bunch of politically incorrect FiretrUCKS!    Abracadabra  |
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What also merits an abundance of FiretrUCKS is being in ICU hooked up to a bunch of monitors, IV Bottles while prepping for an EGD/Colonoscopy. Abracadabra
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3/5/2020 4:47 pm |
so sorry-positive thoughts for quick healing
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Such toxic fumes but still very much alive Waiting for that rescue firetruck to arrive With black rising billowing smoke a crowd gathers Thank God for my All State, making loss not matter A good neighbor by my side certainly not State Farm OMG did I pay my premiums, can I be totally harmed? From a great distance I hear the sirens growing quite strong As I now realize my inside barbeque Idea, was totally wrong No not a match made in heaven, it was the devils work Yes I'm so stupid, from now on just call me one big jerk Then suddenly I'm awakened by my cat Ginger's licking acts Thus I sniff the clean refreshing air, as I fully sit up quite fast It was all one big bad dream,, as now no more Sirens wail Yet I still have to yell FIRETUCK, to end this now happy tale!
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If you think that's fun, try having the eurodynamics of your bladder done. This involves having several catheters, including an anal one. Not to mention, the female version of turn your head and cough,,, ahem,, cough harder,, harder... lol Oh, it's soooo not funny when you really have to do it.
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If you think that's fun, try having the eurodynamics of your bladder done. This involves having several catheters, including an anal one. Not to mention, the female version of turn your head and cough,,, ahem,, cough harder,, harder... lol Oh, it's soooo not funny when you really have to do it. I HAD A DISTANT CANADAIN UNCLE WHO WHILE BEAR HUNTING SOME SIX MILES DEEP IN FROM CIVILIZATION, SQUATTED JUST AFTER DARK TO TAKE A DUMP AND SPRUNG A STEAL JAWED BEAR TRAP ON HIS TESTIES. HE WAS FOR SURE DEAD MEAT HAD HIS SCREAMS NOT BEEN HELD BY A ROYAL CANADIAN MOUNTIE STATION THAT SIX MILES AWAY THAT WAS LOWERING THE DAILY FLAG. WITH ECHOS OFF THE NEARBY MOUNTAINS. IT TOOK FOUR CANANDAIN VILLIGES OF LUMBERJACKS TO FIND POOR UNCLE RICH WHO AFTER SURVIVING THIS MOST HORRIBLE OF ACCIDENTS AND OUT OF THE HOSPITAL ACQUIRED AN A NEW SOUND ALIKE NAME. INSTEAD OF RICH, THEY KNICK NAMED him HIGHPITCH! RUMOR RAN ABOUND THAT SOMEWHERE IN THE GREAT NORTHWEST WOODS. SOME UNLUCKY SQUIRREL BURRIED THE WRONG NUTS! ( honest) ( well maybe honest)
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If you think that's fun, try having the eurodynamics of your bladder done. This involves having several catheters, including an anal one. Not to mention, the female version of turn your head and cough,,, ahem,, cough harder,, harder... lol Oh, it's soooo not funny when you really have to do it. Abracadabra
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Thank you star for being a great sport.. Sometimes Humor is the best medicine as advertised and promoted in the Readers Digest for over half a century! FYI:: Uncle Highpitch went on to become a vocal assistant for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and later became it's most famous Organ Doner!
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It's amazing how just a different doctor or technician can make a big difference in the way a procedure goes. Glad that you find relief and will not be hobbling on your trip. Be a prism, spreading God's light and love, not a mirror reflecting the world's hatred.
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