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starwomyn 65F
3829 posts
12/30/2018 9:31 pm

Last Read:
1/22/2019 10:17 pm

Seasonal Depression, Eldering & What Would Annie Say?

The winter and holiday season seems to intensify feeling that are much easier to cope with during the rest of the year. Loneliness, insecurities, and hurts magnify. It used to be that I would just get on the phone to California and call Annie. She always knew the right thing to tell me. Annie passed away earlier this year.

So this morning I was feeling Seasonal Affective Disorder and most years I would give Annie a call. Annie crossed over to the other side earlier this year so I had to think to myself "What would Annie Say?" She always talked about Blind Faith, God shots and Cutting your losses. So I had to apply the wisdom that she shared and try to give it away to somebody else.

What happens when we need eldering and we are the elders. Once upon a time, I was the youngest person in my 12 Step Group - now I am the oldest. Where did the middle years go?

When my mother died, it was the end of her generation and suddenly - my siblings and I were the first generation in my father's line. I am the oldest sibling. Oh Joy!!! I miss the talks with my maternal great grandmother. I adored her. I also miss my Father who turned out to be my guardian angel.

I am certainly not the wise old granny (my grandbaby's only two) but I am the cool aunt. I am also the hip cousin and a 12 Step Old Timer to boot.

Today at the Quaker Meeting, we were talking about eldering. Our Clerk (church equivalence) of Pastor is someone that I frequently listen to and respect as an elder although he is only two years older than I am. He always says something profound that I can apply to daily living. My Quaker girlfriend said that I am always saying something profound. Eldering is enriching but sometimes we need eldering too.




starwomyn 65F
6200 posts
12/30/2018 9:34 pm

Life on Life's Terms


LeafReport 68M
1551 posts
12/31/2018 4:28 am

I too really struggle in the winter. The thing is that I'm a very active person generally. I walk 40 to 50 miles a week even in the winter. But Jan and Feb are really tough months for me. I just declare spring on March 1 whether its warm or not, and its usually not. A couple years ago I pushed winter back to Christmas so I've done a little posturing to help me cope. Olympic years are a real help but this isn't one of them. I love politics so with the presidential campaigns kicking off, or at least the rumors will, that should help me some. Impeachment would too. But I still know its going to be hard. I'm not sure what I'll try this year. But I need to come up with something soon.


MrsJoe 71F
10814 posts
12/31/2018 5:18 am

Two thoughts crossed my mind as I read your blog. The first, was something I've heard taught by more than one pastor. The biggest cause of burnout in the ministry is failure to recharge your own batteries. Ministers give out so much that they get drained and just give up.
The second was something I've felt for a few years now........ I've been the strong pillar of strength in the family for a long time, and as my children have become that to their children and grandchildren, they have failed to see my aging.
Yes, it is creeping up slowly on me, but when I look back and realize that it wasn't that long ago, I was my children's age, I realize that the future years will spring up just as fast as the past years have flown by.


Spring is here, it's beautiful outside. But let's sit on the computer and insult each other!


Rentier2 74M
370 posts
12/31/2018 5:38 am

I'm the oldest in mine as well.
Doesn't bother me a bit.


Maisie2013 67F
19152 posts
12/31/2018 7:10 am

    Quoting LeafReport:
    I too really struggle in the winter. The thing is that I'm a very active person generally. I walk 40 to 50 miles a week even in the winter. But Jan and Feb are really tough months for me. I just declare spring on March 1 whether its warm or not, and its usually not. A couple years ago I pushed winter back to Christmas so I've done a little posturing to help me cope. Olympic years are a real help but this isn't one of them. I love politics so with the presidential campaigns kicking off, or at least the rumors will, that should help me some. Impeachment would too. But I still know its going to be hard. I'm not sure what I'll try this year. But I need to come up with something soon.
50 miles a week- tell us another whopper.


Maisie2013 67F
19152 posts
12/31/2018 7:15 am

Winter depression has to do with lack of sunlight, mostly. There are fixtures called Happy Lights that will mimic sunlight and give one the vitamin D one needs.
Disappointments after Christmas is related to the anticipation one builds up in ones own mind about Christmas, and when it is over, there is no more anticipation.
Personally the holidays are a chore , best minimized, not stressed over, and a relief when over.


LeafReport 68M
1551 posts
12/31/2018 8:14 am

    Quoting Maisie2013:
    50 miles a week- tell us another whopper.
Come on...50 miles is nothing for me now. You don't walk...the WHOPPER is what makes you FAT


jiminycricket1 69M
10578 posts
12/31/2018 8:20 am

What I find "difficult" about the end of the year, Holidays....

Is reflection.....

As I become more "elderly".. I find more time in the year to become reflective...but never is it as emphatic, as it is over Christmas.

It's kind of a "catch 22"... "to be or not to be".....

To not give up.....when you realize.. at the end ...your whole life will be just be one reflection..
So what I keep thinking.. It's never too late.... Every year I get a Christmas present.. I give it to myself...I try to gladly accept the past year of living, and the next year to live on...I will not stand pat on just my past reflections...AS the only reflection that will matter.... will be my last one.
I got to TRY to make it the best it can be.... I don't pray to be young again.. I pray to find the strength, for there is so much more to be done......I'm not there YET....and I feel bad for those who think they are... for time will not be their friend.. All the things I talk about, are about THAT.. Truth, ideals, love, compassion, family, humanity and even country.. I have no more room for hate and Lies.. I can't afford any more mistakes. So be it... my reflection.......For it's not what other think of me...It's what I think of myself. .......I am not ready YET.. for my last reflection, and my own "Heaven" or "Hell" it will bring..


bob77O21__ 76M
8307 posts
12/31/2018 8:22 am

    Quoting Maisie2013:
    50 miles a week- tell us another whopper.
I find it totally believable...he doesn't have any non-familial social life and, other than clogging the blogs at 3 am, he is a hermit with nothing else to do.


jiminycricket1 69M
10578 posts
12/31/2018 9:17 am

    Quoting bob77O21__:
    I find it totally believable...he doesn't have any non-familial social life and, other than clogging the blogs at 3 am, he is a hermit with nothing else to do.
Like I said Christmas for me is a time of reflection...I watch A Christmas Carol" every year..Because it about being reflective.

I take no pleasure in this response to you....

but.. I'll work on it next year or tomorrow..

Why did you jump in with this comment?
Is it not true?..... to judge, one must be judged
to find fault?.. one must know their own fault..

You judge and find fault in things you do not know..
maybe you don't observe Christmas. but it's no excuse
Picture this..
I'll put a "cap" on it.....Even though you can't see it. and think you can make others not see it.. You're still BALD..


hiramhankwilliam 95M
3963 posts
12/31/2018 9:25 am

    Quoting Maisie2013:
    50 miles a week- tell us another whopper.
dont for get he was a prosecutor, ssenate, and housse aide.

oh yes he was a wh aide

50 miles a week is duck soup

DEATH IS A CERTAIN, ETERNITY IS A CHOICE


LeafReport 68M
1551 posts
12/31/2018 9:34 am

    Quoting bob77O21__:
    I find it totally believable...he doesn't have any non-familial social life and, other than clogging the blogs at 3 am, he is a hermit with nothing else to do.
Hi Bob, Relax you're just a FATHEAD....a BALD FATHEAD


hiramhankwilliam 95M
3963 posts
12/31/2018 10:58 am

    Quoting LeafReport:
    Hi Bob, Relax you're just a FATHEAD....a BALD FATHEAD
hi, wka.

you are still a fake s hill. liar and conperon.

not to mention a imbecile with a tank full of sugar.

dr shole workswell.

change you pansy picture

DEATH IS A CERTAIN, ETERNITY IS A CHOICE


hiramhankwilliam 95M
3963 posts
12/31/2018 10:59 am

    Quoting jiminycricket1:
    Like I said Christmas for me is a time of reflection...I watch A Christmas Carol" every year..Because it about being reflective.

    I take no pleasure in this response to you....

    but.. I'll work on it next year or tomorrow..

    Why did you jump in with this comment?
    Is it not true?..... to judge, one must be judged
    to find fault?.. one must know their own fault..

    You judge and find fault in things you do not know..
    maybe you don't observe Christmas. but it's no excuse
    Picture this..
    I'll put a "cap" on it.....Even though you can't see it. and think you can make others not see it.. You're still BALD..
ur pic show u be bald

DEATH IS A CERTAIN, ETERNITY IS A CHOICE


Lisztomania 69M
10429 posts
12/31/2018 11:04 am

    Quoting LeafReport:
    I too really struggle in the winter. The thing is that I'm a very active person generally. I walk 40 to 50 miles a week even in the winter. But Jan and Feb are really tough months for me. I just declare spring on March 1 whether its warm or not, and its usually not. A couple years ago I pushed winter back to Christmas so I've done a little posturing to help me cope. Olympic years are a real help but this isn't one of them. I love politics so with the presidential campaigns kicking off, or at least the rumors will, that should help me some. Impeachment would too. But I still know its going to be hard. I'm not sure what I'll try this year. But I need to come up with something soon.
You jerk. Star's blog addresses a real problem. You respond with an advertisement of your fitness (which I don't believe) and an attack on Trump. Why don't you just go away?


Maisie2013 67F
19152 posts
12/31/2018 11:05 am

    Quoting LeafReport:
    Come on...50 miles is nothing for me now. You don't walk...the WHOPPER is what makes you FAT
Dont eat whoppers and I am not overweight. And no I do not believe you.
I do not walk for recreation, but do walk about 6 hours at a time for work , which is why I have kept in shape for all these years.


bob77O21__ 76M
8307 posts
12/31/2018 11:37 am

    Quoting Lisztomania:
    You jerk. Star's blog addresses a real problem. You respond with an advertisement of your fitness (which I don't believe) and an attack on Trump. Why don't you just go away?
Perhaps he has no place to go where he's even marginally tolerated, besides this blog.


DanDee1952 67M
20244 posts
12/31/2018 12:04 pm

Star, you bring up an interesting conundrum. I find I am less revered as an elder in my family as TDS takes over. I agree with Mrs Joe that those who give advice often get burnout. I really do not have an elder any longer that I can go to. I need to think about this some. I think, though not confirmed, that one source of my elder was in reading books. Reading books oft gave the ability and background to give counsel in the first place


sparkleflit 71F
4430 posts
12/31/2018 12:23 pm

Wow, Star,good blog...... I think I think I get what you're saying......Most of my elders are gone........At a recent memorial where my children and their families were all present an acquaintance remarked that she loved seeing me as the Matriarch......I suddenly felt very self-conscious......

My good friend and mentor who has been very ill for a while now, has scheduled her death for tomorrow.......I surprised myself yesterday when I sobbed like a baby missing her mother. I was so used to her at my side...........her tastes are simple and elegant and we often exchanged our creations. I have several of her Raku pieces. But she was outraged and appalled at some of my wardrobe choices. The last time that happened, I wore flowered leggings with a leopard-print top........I will never experience that again.........I just don't know what to do with all that love..........So much unbounded love spilling over and trailing grief........Walking helps........


alpha2000 87M
1352 posts
12/31/2018 12:49 pm

Spark, Lasting memories are often are our own, especially loved filled. Thanks for sharing a sincere emotion!


jiminycricket1 69M
10578 posts
1/1/2019 7:15 am

yes..... I have lost some hair follicles...

But what you don't see is that "bald" is not about that..

It's more about brain cells than follicles...

IT"S A "STATE OF MIND"....


deborahsu2 79F  
3182 posts
1/1/2019 12:01 pm

This is so sad. Star posted a great blog. I think one that could touch all of us as we get older and one that we can all understand. BUT....do we stick to the subject and only discuss and respond to her blog, our feelings, etc?? NO! Immediately the tide is turned.....the personal arguments and put downs start. Did anyone ever think about "WWJD"? (That is What Would Jesus Do?) Do you feel that He can look down on the way we act in this day and time and be thankful that He created us? I think we give God a lot of sorrow.

Thank you Mrsjoe and Dan for your comments on Star's blog.

This is just my feelings on the matter. You can laugh at me, or say whatever you want, but my feelings won't change.


RosesLady 66F
6858 posts
1/13/2019 3:54 pm

This is a great blog!!
I had it pointed out to me that I suffer from the lack of sunlight and heat in the winter. I hibernate kinda like a bear in the winter, don't go out much. But a co-worker told me she can always tell when spring has arrived here, because of my face. She said when spring is here, my personality and the look on my face "blooms" like my flower garden. I never realized I had that drastic a transformation?



" There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works". .