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starwomyn 70F
5429 posts
8/9/2017 8:04 pm

Last Read:
8/12/2017 10:33 pm

Trump Twitters on the White House (Satire)

Lincoln Bedroom no big deal. Pillows suck. Hair looks ridiculous in a.m. No wonder Abe wore stupid hat!”

“White House Gift Shop still selling Obama stuff. Unfair! Buy American, not Kenyan!”
“Big screen TVs in War Room really low rez. Can’t see shit. Trump Tower entertainment room way better — no lie!”

“Chairs in Family Dining Room rickety, unsafe — probably sat on by hippoPOTUS (haha!) William Howard Taft. Cheap!”

Paper thin walls. Can hear Bannon blasting the butt bazooka every time he uses West Wing bathroom. Horrible!”

“James S. Brady Press Briefing Room? Who? Never heard of him. Don Jr. needs gun room. NRA approves. Let’s renovate!”

“Hardly any gold leaf here. Wanted to go full gilt on South Portico pillars — getting push back from stupid historian Doris Kearns Goodwin.”

Just found old peanut shells in basement. What, no housekeeping service since Carter?! Unacceptable!”

“Grand staircase creaks like Wilbur Ross’s knees. No chance to sneak off for late night intern whoopee like Bill C.— sad!”

“Can you believe it, White House has own library filled with books?! Who reads anymore? Outdated. Replacing with day spa.”

Melania says no bidets in women’s bathrooms. Founding Fathers must have had VERY funky First Ladies! Disgusting!”

“Vlad has Toxic Cocktail Mixology Room in Kremlin. Love it! Tell Congress to authorize same for White House!”

“Just learned there’s a “Queen’s Bedroom” up on second floor…but we have no queen! Outrageous. Renaming it ‘Trump Super Suite.’ Classy!”

“FDR created Map Room. DJT converting it to GPS Room — because I’m modern day presidential!”

“Bomb shelter in sub-basement World War II-era. Not good enough! I need nuke-proof hideout. I’m the f**king president!”

“Don’t know why we have a “Situation Room” when MTV cancelled “Jersey Shore” in 2012. I know my reality TV — Mike Sorrentino so yesterday!”

“Whole place needs big league upgrades. Let Don Jr. and Eric bid — make White House great again!”
****
per gOOgle research



Abracadabra


starwomyn 70F
8876 posts
8/9/2017 8:05 pm



Abracadabra


starwomyn 70F
8876 posts
8/10/2017 1:25 am

Your post has been denied due to the following reason: profanity Please update your post to get it re-reviewed

Seniors can't S*X - Dumb SFF - Don't they know that we INVENTED the wild thing.

Abracadabra


MrsJoe 76F
17438 posts
8/10/2017 5:13 am

Hilarious! But some folks take satire seriously.

Be a prism, spreading God's light and love, not a mirror reflecting the world's hatred.


Rocketship 80F
18603 posts
8/10/2017 5:42 am