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October 5... Today is a day that in the back of my memory would have stood for something if things would have turned out different.. but instead.. it stands for a learning in setting one's self free.. from hurt.. bondage.. and abuse.. all in the name of self love and self worth.. __________________________________________ You cannot stay in a relationship or any experience where you feel alone just to avoid being alone. To do so is to betray yourself. It is impossible to stay in a relationship where you are unsupported, unacknowledged or unappreciated without eventually being convinced that this is as good as it can get. Anytime you find yourself giving yourself a reason to stay in a relationship where joy is an illusion, peace refers only to cake or pie, happiness is just around the corner, love is just the way you sign off on letters, you are in the process of destroying your sense of worth. It is often hard for us to realize, understand or accept that the way we treat ourselves sets the model for how we will be treated. Many of us allow ourselves to be treated the way we have always been treated because we don't know that we can be treated any other way. For some, being treated badly is better than being alone. This is the ultimate act of self-betrayal. Any experience of betrayal can diminish your sense of worth. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with staying to work things out or with working through the tough times with a clear vision of things getting better. There are times when staying takes more courage than leaving requires. However, when the only reason for being where you are is to avoid being by yourself, you are no longer a victim of abuse, betrayal or dishonor. You are creating it! Until today, you may have believed that being alone would be worse than being in a relationship where you feel alone. Just for today, sit with yourself, by yourself, and ask yourself, "Why is being alone so frightening to me?" Write down your responses. Read them back to yourself and then ask yourself, "Why am I choosing to believe this?" When you get an answer, make another choice. Today I am devoted to exploring some of the good reasons there are for spending time alone! ______________________________________________ Please don't get me wrong.. I am not promoting break-ups... I do believe that some people take the cowards way out when things aren't what they want in a relationship.. instead of staying and working on self..and relationship it's easier to just leave... what I am saying is there are times when.. a relationship is wrong... and by staying there for the wrong reasons only adds to the problem.. Again.. all the answers lay within... Have a great day all..  Good luck in any and all your relationships.. for they all need work to last and be fruitful... Gina  ___________ Find the humor each day holds.... Gina |
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10/5/2006 5:55 am |
Good blog Gina, very well expressed. Sorry about your past hurt and abuse. Delighted to see you overcame it all, and you stand today a very strong self sufficient and happy lady. I was never in an abusive relationship TG. I know I'm very lucky to be happily married to Billy for the last thirty five years. A lot of people stay in abusive relationships as you stated, because it's easier to stay than to go. I know I would leave every time.
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10/5/2006 10:11 am |
Gina, I thoroughly enjoyed your post. You've got to love yourself first. It's also best to be alone than lonely and hurt in a relationship. People will only treat us in the way we continue to allow it. Aloha, Anne
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10/5/2006 10:25 am |
Gina, I'm happy to see that you have overcome it all. It is indeed better to be alone...than to wish you were! Been there, done that hon. We can only be hurt repeatedly if we allow it. Love and Hugs~Pam  and  ~Pam & SunshinePain & suffering are inevititable, but misery is optional.
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10/5/2006 10:31 am |
I see u! Now how bout gettin up out of that chair.U really need to go shoppin and buy that pretty purple grown u been lookin at. Have a good day! See I knew u could smile!
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These words are so true! You ask yourself, can I do it alone? You know deep inside you can, then ask yourself, would I be better off alone? You know you would be and one day....peace, blissful peace for it has ended. Ann
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10/5/2006 6:19 pm |
Great post...I love to see a woman coming into her "own" and realizing she has value and self worth and that NO ONE can take it away from you, you give it away (or hopefully, not). A hard, but important lesson. Always treat yourself as good or better than you treat others. Hugs, Cindy
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10/7/2006 8:59 am |
Ol didn't I tell U?I guess not. But I m color blind u know what that means don't u? All well I don't either. Keep smilin!
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what am I wearing as I sit in this chair? lol.. 
rofl.. 
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