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Jes4now 64F
4133 posts
9/15/2006 3:27 am

Last Read:
9/17/2006 6:27 pm

Tooo Funny!!!

Hi all.. I hope this does not offend anyone..but I as I read this I laughed my butt off! I wanted to share in hopes it would lighten your day.. sorry guys.. it's a funny geared to women.. but I bet some guys can relate through the firing line! lol..
_____________________________________________

Dear Kotex

I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as:

*Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.

*Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.

*Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh.

*Try Kotex blah blah blah other products...

Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from hell...but go ahead...I triple-dog-friggen-dare-ya... See what happens and report back. I'll wait.

While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I garan-damn-tee you that the first responders will be females who just ovulated.

Staying active will relieve headaches & cramps...well guess what, the only activities that interest me is eating..sleeping..bitching or crying for no apparent reason.. ..and oh...does ripping someone's head off count as a friggen' activity?????

Look, females don't need or want tips for living on their feminine hygiene products. Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like that from elderly relatives. Veteran females have already concocted their own recipes for survival, many containing alcohol & barbituates.

Printing out crap advice while sneaking in ads for the brand that was already purchased is just plain annoying, not to mention rude, and is enough to send a girl running to the Always brand.

It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding smiley faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap to your products or the packaging. Put the crap in a plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in our carts discreetly and have it blend in among the wine and beer.

There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package announcing your uterine state to everyone in the store. Why don't ya just add an in-store microphone to the damn package & announce that..........helloooo, another female in the store is on the rag!!!!!

So take your tips for living and your cute bunnies & the smiley faces and shove them right up your \bass\b!

P.S. How about adding a free sample of Pamprin & maybe a shot of Bourbon to your packages instead?


___________
Find the humor each day holds.... Gina


Lexie123 65F

9/15/2006 3:51 am

I laughed when I first saw this a while back. Too funny.


Abelle2 83F
31232 posts
9/15/2006 6:04 pm

I had seen this before and it still is funny! Thanks for making me laugh again. It reminds me of a funny boyfriend I had a long time ago. He worked in a grocery store, when a gal would come in to buy Kotex or Tampons and tried to casually put them on the conveyer belt, he would "accidentally" knock them off so she had to go through the embarassment all over again, haha Ann


moon2u 73F

9/15/2006 6:28 pm

hehehehehehe giggles, Don't have that problem anymore thank goodness!

but I remember it well

giggles moony