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OK Who is Silk1958 OK today i made a decision to tell you all about my life. you may think here we go again the same old mundane stuff, well some of you may be right but i hope it will give you an insight into me. Ok here we go, as my handle may have already shown some of you i was born in 1958 in Hackney Hospital London. At that time my parents lived with my Nanny Atwell, my dads mum and a lay that i loved dearly and miss every day. By the time i was about 2 years old my father re enlisted into the British Army and then for the next 18-19 years we traveled around with my father I have lived in Hanover and Hamlyn, then Lydd, then Gibraltar, then Canterbury, where my 1st sister was born in 1966, we then went to Northern Ireland followed by Warminster and Bulford Camp where my youngest sister was born in 1969, followed by Berlin then back to Canterbury by which time i had left school and i went to live with my Auntie and Uncle in Essex, where i did my training as a Telephonist. Whilst i was there my father was sent to serve 6 months in Northern Ireland whilst the 'troubles' were taking place, I returned home to my mother and sisters because i felt that was where i should be. When my father returned to the UK we were then sent to live in Werl, this is an area in Germany and i loved it there. By now i was working in the NAFFI ( Brit version of PX). these were some of my happiest times. After a time i was engaged to marry a soldier. Then one day i found out i was expecting a , I moved back to the UK and within hours of arriving at my nan's flat i was in the local hospital having a miscarriage, i was 16 weeks pregnant and my own body was rejecting the baby. The year was now 1976. I stayed with my nan for a few more years then went to live with my Auntie and Uncle again until my father retired from the army after 22 years. By now the family had moved to Essex and my parent were working as was I. my sisters were still attending school.Things plodded along as normal not much happened until 1981 when i yet again discovered i was expecting a baby after my doctor had been treating me for a possible growth on an ovary, ops did he make a mistake. He had even arranged for me to see a specialist at the Hospital. On the day of my hospital appointment i went along thinking there was nothing to worry about and when i walked in and sat down to talk to the specialist he asked me if i was aware that i was 22 weeks Pregnant, well you can imagine how i felt. My first thought was how am i going to tell my parents but i needn't have worried they were great and in the August of 1981 days after Charles and Diane's marriage i gave birth to a 6lb 12 oz little girl, the only moment of panic for me was when they told me not to push and the cord was around the babies throat. At 16:30 approx Genette Clair came into the world and the first thing she did was stick her finger into her mouth. lol. By the time Genette was 6 months old i was back at work. working in the evenings so that i could spend my days with her. After doing this for a couple of years i decided to begin working back in London doing the job i had been trained for many years before. Well you guessed it in 1985 i found out i was expecting again, this time i talked thing through with the father of the because i had to make a big decision as to whether or not i was going to have this baby, my was under 4 years of age and I did not feel that is was fair to her at that time for me to have another . The fathers reaction was its your body do what you want with it. After much soul searching i made the decision that i could not have another at that time. I went ot see my doctor who was very understanding and arranged for me to see another doctor about a termination. No w i know some of you will be saying i was a bad woman but in my heart at that time i was not ready for another . Well as it turned out i changed my mind and in the October of 1985 gave birth to my Andrew James. These were the best and some of the bad times of my life, little did i know what would happen years later. but i will continue. So here i was a single parent with two young looking after them and working. Then one day i met a man that worked at the same place as me and we became friends then lovers, eventually he moved in with me and my , things were going along nicely till one day as i walked into the room he hit me across the face with such force that my ears were ringing, I had no idea why he had done this, and to this day i still don't know why. he apologised and i let it go, more fool me because this episode was to repeat its self many times until i had enough and called the police after he had tried to strangle me. He hounded my every day and made my life hell until i had to take him back to court for breaching a restraining order. Life settled down and i eventually began a relationship with my husband from who i have now been separated for 6 years. In 1995 it was found that i had pre cancerous cell on my uterus and i had treatment for that, in 1996-7 i was told i had a blood condition after it was discovered i had a blood clot in my leg. then in 1999 i was told i had MS, In 2000 i moved to Manchester and thought my life was going to get better, how wrong was i, the man i was living with was ok for the first 6-12 months then he changed and i became his verbal, mental and physical punch bag.In 2001 my mother died suddenly and it hit me hard but i carried on as though i was alright until 6 months later i broke down in work and was told it was delayed shock for her death. Anyway back to my time in Manchester. the man i was still living with got worse and worse but i took this until 2005 when i finally made the move to get away from him. So now this brings us to the present time, I live alone with my 2 cats and 1 and recently my doctor informed me that i am also suffering with depression. I asked myself is it any wonder with what i have been through in the last 10 years. Well that is me and my life so far. |
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Thank you for sharing...I agree, I think it will be healing or rather on the path to healing. Hugs to you and share more, we are here to listen, give hugs and encouragement! Ann
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4/9/2006 12:33 pm |
Silk thank you for sharing your story. Hope everything works out for you. You deserve it. Best wishes to you.
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